[ SECRET POST #2126 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2126 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 106 secrets from Secret Submission Post #304.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

Okay, so. I'm in my midtwenties, I live in my own apartment, support my own ass, and go to grad school.

And still, I say to myself, with great relief and happiness, "Oh thank god, I can go home and see Mom and Dad."

I have a feeling I'm doing this growing up thing a bit wrong.

What are your "growing up" pains, F!S?

Re: Maturity question

[mudousetsuna]

The older you get, the more attached to your parents you will become.

Re: Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

Really don't see the "doing maturity wrong" thing here. People don't jettison their parents from their life as a matter of course when they get older (assuming a good relationship here).

Re: Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Maybe it's a cultural thing? It's pretty common where I grew up to leave home and not make a whole lot of contact with your parents.

I dunno, it's pretty old fashioned, I guess.

Re: Maturity question

[unicornherds]

Out of curiosity, where did you grow up? I agree with the anon you replied to, around my area (northeast USA) it's pretty common to keep in close relationship with your parents.

Re: Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

Also NE US, but I grew up in a very rural, impoverished area, where in order to get the funds to be self sufficient, you have to move away from the area. Or be satisfied with substandard living conditions and even lower pay, and accept help from parents or family.

Re: Maturity question

[unicornherds]

Oh yeah, it's definitely hard to stay close and make money. I grew up in a very small town with no jobs outside of working from home or working at the schools, so a good majority of people move away. But it's still pretty normal for people to be excited to visit (or be visited by) family and have a close relationship (emotionally if not physically).

Re: Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

Hm... Interestingly, I think where I grew up, the notion of staying in touch with parents is seen as more old-fashioned, and people seem to think it's either sweet or weird... But I have trouble seeing any amount of parental-adult child contact as being a mark of maturity, though, outside of the reasons for it (i.e., the difference between "I genuinely like the relationship my parents and I have" vs. "I spent all my money on this rad dirt bike and need more for the matching leather jacket"). Also, fwiw, I have a fluctuating but overall probably moderate amount of contact with my parents, while my husband has what feels like a TON of contact with his, and by most other social markers, he's the more mature one :P.

Re: Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

I have a Master's degree and a full-time job, and I'm living with my parents and not planning on moving out anytime soon.

Re: Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

If you like your parents and enjoy spending time with them, there's nothing wrong with wanting to see them. Like you said, you live on your own and support yourself. Cutting your parents out of your life completely couldn't possibly make you more grown up than you already are.

I live about 6 hours away from mine, so I only see them 3 or 4 times a year and I talk to them on the phone maybe once every two weeks. I don't feel like that's "too much" contact. I rarely need them for anything on a practical level and no longer see them as a safety net, but I still look forward to my opportunities to see them.

My "I am TOO and adult, dammit" problems are more related to being a woman who is without a serious BF/husband or children (and I don't even want the latter). In a lot of people's minds, that makes me less mature than someone far younger who has those things, as if those are the only life experiences that can build character.

Re: Maturity question

[(Anonymous)]

Nope, not only is this not "doing maturity wrong," I feel sorry for anyone who thinks it is. If you were still looking to your folks to fund big-ticket items like a new laptop, a winter coat, or your car--then yeah; or if you couldn't make a decision on anything major without consulting them, you might have a problem. But being glad to see them and enjoying their company? Anyone who has a problem with that...is the one with the problem.