fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2153 ]

[ SECRET POST #2153 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2153 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 104 secrets from Secret Submission Post #308.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Someone in one of my chatrooms used male pronouns with me for the 2938th time without checking my profile to see if I have my gender posted (I do). (I'm female.) This automatically pissed me off and in the ensuing debate I we got around to talking about dating (or something) and apparently how all girls are just looking for a douche bag guy! Like I haven't heard that one before! And other similar stereotypes.

And then to top it off one of the guys tried to use this as ACTUAL SUPPORTING EVIDENCE in the debate.

I had to stop reading because it made me actually angry (more than the somewhat pissed/annoyed I was in the debate)

So many things about that site are gross but right now I'm particularly bothered with these stereotypes attached to women when it comes to dating. If I had a dollar for every guy who's told me he knows better than me what women want...(one of the ones in chat actually said he thought I was a troll when I told him that wasn't what I wanted. Not sure if he was serious or not)

just

grrrrrrrr

Women attracted to shallow douchebags tend to be the female equivalent to those shallow douchebags. So when my guy friend complained about how all the girls he likes only want douchebags I told him it's karma for having the same shitty taste he's bashing his person of interest for having.

This is also the guy who called me an insecure idiot for bring interested in a guy he thought I was too attractive for. Women just can't win with these guys.

Exactly this. I have zero tolerance for guys who complain about women only wanting douchebags but then it turns out these women are physically so far out of their reasonable range that they might as well be on another planet. I blame Hollywood and stupid people pretty equally for that.

Hmm, I'm going to agree with you on the "Hollywood and stupid people". How many times have we been taught, in films and on tv, that the average guy DESERVES the super-hot girl? But never vice versa. :-/

Re: Consider yourself indulged.

diet_poison - 2012-11-25 16:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Consider yourself indulged.

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-26 22:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Consider yourself indulged.

diet_poison - 2012-11-26 22:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Consider yourself indulged.

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-27 02:09 (UTC) - Expand

Oh and he was also one of those guys who like to hit on and form inappropriate "friend"ships with women in relationships because they like the validation they get when they convince someone to leave their boyfriend for them but use "almost all of my ex-girlfriends cheated on me" as proof women are lying manipulators by nature.

ahahaha yeah. If a person is the kind of person who cheats WITH you, they're probably going to cheat ON you. This is true of everyone, not just women. People can be really thick.

Edited 2012-11-25 15:59 (UTC)

Re: your first paragraph: that is a really good way to look at it! And it's probably true. I'll have to keep that in mind.

Re: your second paragraph: I...what?? o_O Let me guess, you were "out of his league" or some shit like that? Why is it all about social status based on looks...

> Women attracted to shallow douchebags tend to be the female equivalent to those shallow douchebags. So when my guy friend complained about how all the girls he likes only want douchebags I told him it's karma for having the same shitty taste he's bashing his person of interest for having.

+10000000000000000

I don't know what you mean. I love it when guys mansplain my goals and ambitions as a woman because they don't understand statistics/stereotypes/the words I'm fucking typing. It's the best.

/I hate this so much

lol, "thebestpageintheuniverse.net"

First off, that is false advertising

Secondly, that guy sounds like he spends a lot of time in his mom's basement. A looooooot of time.

Pretty sure Maddox is a trolly troll.

Yeah. Maddox is a straight up troll from way back. Man, I loved that shit back in the day.

Re: f!s, can you indulge me in a rant?

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-25 17:57 (UTC) - Expand

Re: f!s, can you indulge me in a rant?

diet_poison - 2012-11-25 23:42 (UTC) - Expand

That link looks purple visited on my browser. I was going all, "man, I wonder where on the internet I've been. Diet poison sure hates it I hope it's not one of my bookmarks."

And it was. Under my section devoted to sj-isms and stereotypes haha.

I'm still stupid surprised when I meet people irl who genuinely hold tjose kind of thoughts. I expect unaccountable assholery online most of the time, but even then if I get a feeling the other party really is so far up their ass on maintaining a belief in stupidity, I just get so disappointed.

On pronouns, for me, I don't mind someone making assumptions about which to use, although the connected assumptions that follow about me kinda irk me.

although the connected assumptions that follow about me kinda irk me.

Well, yeah. I mean that's kind of what it is...it's because guys assume the Internet it populated only by men, because male is the default and female is something "other". Also apparently sometimes you can assume someone is a guy from the way they talk? What?

My name on this chat room is raichu100, which I use all over the internet, and it's pretty gender-neutral. Many of the girls in places like that use really really girly handles. I hate the fact that men seem to think that if it's not a girly handle meant to advertise my gender without them having to actually to look, then I must not be a girl.

(Also, I kind of think it's basic respect to ask or look before assuming gender, but hey.)

Re: f!s, can you indulge me in a rant?

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-25 17:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: f!s, can you indulge me in a rant?

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-25 19:21 (UTC) - Expand

Re: f!s, can you indulge me in a rant?

(Anonymous) - 2012-11-26 20:07 (UTC) - Expand

Re: f!s, can you indulge me in a rant?

cloud_riven - 2012-11-25 21:28 (UTC) - Expand

Re: f!s, can you indulge me in a rant?

diet_poison - 2012-11-25 23:43 (UTC) - Expand

I get mad too, but there's also a level where I can't help but be amused by guys who always whine about how "All women want assholes" or "All women want [things I can't deliver]" or "All women want [things I'm not interested in]" etc. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because they'll be so convinced that all women want x and not y, they won't even notice how many women around them do not fit their stereotypes. I also figure it's not my problem if they can't get a date because of this. :P

This.

The last time one of my male friends did the "all women want asshole guys, waah waah, why," rant, I asked him why all guys want immature girls who are stone crazy. He started to explain that that wasn't true, and I sat there with my arms folded and nodded without saying anything until the penny dropped.

To his credit, he did eventually get it. It just took longer than I'd hoped.

That's awesome! I should try that.

You go, girl!

I've pretty much given up on trying to be reasonable with guys who believe these stereotypes; any time I try to point out that they're not true I'm bombarded with "Shut up, woman. You, as a woman, can't possibly understand the thought processes of women. Only us menz can understand how women think." I guess that's why these same guys also complain that women are so confusing and tricky and impossible to understand; go figure.

Sorry you had to deal with that. Those guys sound incredibly frustrating and douchey; not to mention stupid, using a site whose front page reads "This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong." as a source.

Ugh, yes. I've actually had guys tell me with complete confidence, "I know exactly what women want," sometimes even adding, "I bet I know more about women than you do."

...what?

Maddox, really? I cannot believe that guy is still posting. I outgrew being vaguely amused by him so long ago that I somehow believed he would have outgrown it, too.

Anyway, that's exactly why I hate much of the mindset behind pick-up artist strategies. The reason anyone might find an asshole more appealing is because confidence/aggression trumps likeability in most parts of life. It is not a special quality in women, there is no shortage of straight guys who claim that, yet have at least one complete jackass of a buddy they would nonetheless take a bullet for and don't see the similarities between the two.

I'm not sure I really understand your comment?

he reason anyone might find an asshole more appealing is because confidence/aggression trumps likeability in most parts of life

Huh?

It is not a special quality in women

What's not?

Is it bad that the thing that pisses me off the most about the link is the suggestion that any kind of 'crotch-rash' must be caused by sex?

I started getting rashes there
when I was
thirteeen
it's a fucking sensitive area D<.

Edited 2012-11-25 12:24 (UTC)

Yep, it sure is. I've never had sex, so I haven't had any guys give me that crap, but I get rashes down there if I shave my thighs or bikini line (which is basically the reason I stopped shaving my bikini line - I just wear shorts over my swimsuit now which works because I hardly ever go swimming - and only shave my thighs a couple times a year). Really nasty itchy red bumpy rashes that look just as bad as the hair itself. >___>

Also, my sister had shingles Down There once. And when I had scarlet fever, I had a rash on my thighs because of that.

Basically, it's slut shaming and ignorance all wrapped up into one, topped off with a wallop of entitlement and bathed in disrespect :D