fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2181 ]

[ SECRET POST #2181 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2181 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm usually going to cafe once every week to meet up with friends and I tend to get there way ahead of the others, so got plenty of time to notice other customers. There's one I wish wasn't there as he is absolutely creeptastic. He hasn't bothered me directly more than once, but I'm not really his type ( thank goodness!). Very young blondes on the other hand... The pattern as follows: he walks up to girls of around 17-18, introduces himself by full name, asks where they live and if he might have their phone number. So far no one has, that I know of. Then comes "May I be rocked on your foot?" At which point they all just say no and ignore him.
Last time I overheard him talking to a slightly older woman, blonde, and he asked if he may nail her sometime. I didn't catch her answer because I was too busy going WTF?!

The thing is, though, that he does have some form of mental development issues and I can understand that people would be iffy about calling him out on his behaviour because of that. Question is, should that really be a get-out-of-jail-card for sexual harassment?

NOTHING is a get-out-of-jail-card for sexual harassment! Period. I don't fucking care what his problem is - he's behavior is completely unacceptable.

No, it's not. Whoever is responsible for him has to take care of the issue.

I have no idea who's responsible for him as he seems to be highfunctioning in the way that he's out and about all by himself. I did see him with his mother once. Poor woman, he was nagging at her pretty much the entire time.

I agree with anon that nothing makes sexual harassment okay, though tbh I'm not sure how I'd deal with it in your situation. You couldn't mention it to the employees, and see if the manager would speak with him? It sounds like this man is disturbing the customers and they should ask him to either change his behavior or leave (and not come back).

That sounds like a good plan to me. Ask to talk to the manager, maybe, and explain what you've observed. Certain behaviors are never acceptable, and if this person isn't in a position to be responsible for himself, someone else should be.

Maybe I could do that. Or I could get up and tell him myself...as unpleasant as that situation would be...

Regarding disturbing other customers: my group are kinksters and gather at that cafe to chitchat about everthing, both kink and ordinary life. But at least we talk amongst ourselves and don't adress the other patrons. Still could be sticky.

I think talking to the manager is the best thing to do in this situation. Even if no one else has mentioned his behavior, if you do that means something. You are a customer, after all. Plus...I imagine you can't be the only person who this man has upset, the others are probably just too afraid or unsure of what to do to mention it. I know it sucks but it sounds like it would be best for everyone if the matter was addressed.

Talking to staff at the place is probably the best thing because he's disturbing customers.
Even if he has a disability, the implication that he's likely high-functioning to go places also means he should learn and understand sexual harassment, and that what he's doing isn't right.

Wow, that's creepy as shit. There is no excuse for that. He definitely needs to be told it's wrong. D:

No, he needs to be told, how ever long you have to do it for, that it's unacceptable (and possibly to please leave you're disturbing the customers/staff with this particular behaviour)

People may feel awkward about it, or that it's not politcally correct but forms of mental issues are not a get out of jail card and if he can walk around asking to nail women he can be told that it's unacceptable behaviour (and why, throw the why in. Even if it's "it makes people uncomfortable". With my brother, an explanation/why always made things go down easier")

"May I be rocked on your foot?" WTH does that mean?

That he sits on her foot (front of ancle, really) and she moves her lower leg up and down. Like you might let a little kid ride on your leg.

http://www.kaswa.se/Vistexter/blanca.gif

DA

Creepy as fuck

Was it Chris-chan?

Just run far away. FAR away.

I have no idea who Chris-chan is. This is some local dude named Lars.

Anyone named Lars is probably a creepy harasser.

There used to be a similar guy on a bus I took, except someone had obviously explained to him what behaviours were not okay. He would usually ask people if they wanted to talk and explain that he was (I believe autistic, it's been a while) and enjoyed talking to people. Sometimes people said yes! He told me I was beautiful once, but didn't push for any further interaction after I thanked him.

Basically, it sounds like someone has made him think this is the "right" way to approach girls he finds pretty, and I honestly have more issue with that person than him.

A lot of pop culture portrays it being A-OK for a male to walk up and majorly flirt with a woman. So it might have been something he saw on TV or whatever, and he doesn't have the ability to tell "funny on TV' from "acceptable in reality".

As someone who works retail, if and when we have customers like that I definitely want to be told. I was actually in what sounds like a nearly identical situation one time. The guy approached me and was giving off definite creep vibes, so I left the aisle; when I saw him talking to a mother and her daughter and them looking just as uncomfortable as I'd felt I tracked down the first male supervisor I could find and told him to go do something about the guy.

The one dude who likes to do laps around our store in his chair and basically just hang out is one thing; someone actively harassing other customers is definitely another.

When I worked the front end in a grocery store, there was this guy who worked the bottle recycling. I want to say he had Downs Syndrome, but I honestly don't know. He was Obviously Retarded but he also had severe problems with his motor skills. And his legs were warped, to the point of giving him a hard time whenever he walked. No fucking idea why anyone thought giving him the job with broken glass and dangerous machinery was a fabulous idea.

Anyway. The rest of the front end nicknamed him Lester the Molester. You guess why!

He might not know its wrong, but he obviously needs to be told so. The staff for sure need to let him know, if he's continually doing this at their business he's potentially driving customers away. I'm surprised no one complained already.

This actually happened to me once. This young guy kept making semi-racist, sexual comments at me but I could tell there was something wrong with him, so I just tried to laugh it off. To be honest I felt sort of sorry for him since he was trying to make conversation of some sort. I can't really say that I was offended so much as amused.

Though I can imagine how it might be offensive after a while. Hopefully this guy has someone looking after him.

Just want to chim in - but it's not okay. Point in fact, even in the mental institution I did time in, that kind of behavior would have caused the nurses to step in. In fact, there was a patient who...let's just say his level was very, very low - to the point he couldn't speak, and sexual harassment type behavior from him* was still considered unacceptable.

So yeah, it's in no way, shape or form a 'get-out-of-jail-free card', particularly since he's high enough functioning to be out alone [and thus, presumably, able to learn what 'right/good' behavior is and what is 'wrong/bad behavior.']

*He had a habit of groping other people randomly.

Everyone needs to treat the people around them with respect. He might have developmental issues that make it harder for him to understand the boundaries of appropriate behavior, but that's no reason someone shouldn't set him straight.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2181 ]

In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?

Re: In this situation, is calling out sexual harassment = abelism?