[ SECRET POST #2189 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2189 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________










Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 084 secrets from Secret Submission Post #313.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[insanenoodlyguy]

I'm not sure you are in a position to call all those other dudes gross. Do you really think you are a super special person with your kink and nobody else has any reasons for theirs?

More then this though, it seems like you are way to hung up on this. This isn't a kink: It's a fetish. Like, the original definition of the word fetish which is more about obsession then another word for kink.

I mean, a relationship isn't just about the sex. 95% of the time you need to like each other in ways unrelated to sex. I mean obviously attraction is a thing, but you are giving perhaps too much thought to the wrong priorities.

I think you can find what you are looking for, mind. Try fetlife. But don't think just because somebody shares your kink/fetish that's it, or feel compelled to make it work if that's the only thing you have in common.

[visp]

I'm not sure you are in a position to call all those other dudes gross.

Heh, glad someone else picked up on that.

[fuchsiascreams]

I agree with all of this.

[(Anonymous)]

MTE.

OP, I'm sure that if you'll find a woman that likes you, is into you, and things go well between you, she'll consent to a little role-play every now and then (unless she has a specifically strong aversion to incest).

It's not that rare.

[(Anonymous)]

try fetlife

OP described why that didn't work for him. Other than that I agree with what you said.

[insanenoodlyguy]

I've used it and I don't think OP looked very hard. There are groups dedicated to what he likes. And if he is indeed looking for friends as well as a companion, plenty of folks on there that'd be happy to talk to him. I honestly find more folks to chat with on there who are attached and monogamous then singles looking.

And frankly he seems all flinchy about this. Like if he saw they had other kinks he'd shun them... why?

[aquila_black]

That's ... not the only reason they might feel that way. Fringe communities attract certain kinds of sketchy behavior, for a number of reasons. I know plenty of women who won't touch Fetlife because they don't need the hassle of guys seeing them as nothing more than a potentially-compatible kink. (Having compatible kinks is awesome. But when the only thing your partner feels they need to know about you is that you're into electro-play, that's alienating.) Anyone who's been in a subculture is probably familiar with feeling like some of its other members aren't people they'd choose to be associated with. And desperation / pushiness isn't sexy. It makes some people quiet and others obnoxious. That's the kind of discomfort I was hearing from the OP's wording. Not to mention - they sound self-conscious about being kinky, but somehow not kinky *enough* to feel like they belong.

[insanenoodlyguy]

I've had better experiences with it, but that may not be everybody's experience. More then that however, I don't think the alternative: joining a fandom in hopes of finding that person through a shared kink in a NON KINK area is going to be any less skeevy. If anything, you have op becoming the resident creeper, and he obviously feels weird about all of this already so I doubt the realizaiton of that label will do wonders for him.

[aquila_black]

I feel like there's an important difference between having kinks and being vulgar and entitled about them. And while there are plenty of people on dating sites who don't sound like self-centered jerks, it's reasonable to be kind of repulsed by the ones that do. The tone LJ/DW fandom takes when talking about most kinks is night-and-day different, and more ... thoughtful? Respectful? I'm not sure what the right word to use would be. But I can see how, if he developed the kink in fandom, the sexist, cater-to-me version would cause culture shock.

Whether he comes off as creepy or not depends a lot on how he goes about it.

It's not what I participate in fandom for, but fandom is a place where I meet people I share kinks with, and I much prefer it to sites dedicated to getting people together in any sense. Because fandom is not an exclusively sexual space, everyone has veto power over whether to talk about sex. If I find someone I'm comfortable with and curious about, it may come up, but I never have to justify why I'm not discussing kink with whoever approaches me.

In terms of what the OP's thinking of doing, I didn't post addressing him because I wanted to think it over. Dealing with other fen in a space where you get to know them as people and vice versa seems reasonable. I know people who have gotten into happy, long term relationships that way. I kind of side-eye his writing for fandoms exclusively because they have incest kink potential and "meeting partners" potential. That feels a little forced. If he's really in fandom and not just fishing for girls, writing for the canons he cares about and talking to people who write fics he's liked would make more sense to me. Only a subset of those people will be available or interested, I'm sure, but ... it would be a good place to look for community and romantic interests. Everyone who's written incest had to get over their inhibitions about it, to a greater or lesser extent, so they might be able to help him get over his worries about "what this says about me," at the very least.