fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2194 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2194 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Hobbit]

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03.

[Good Omens / Girls Next Door]

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04.

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05.

[The Hobbit, Thorin Oakenshield]

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06.

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[ ----- SPOILERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

07. [SPOILERS for Wreck-it Ralph]
http://www.abload.de/img/974137-king_candywrecfbk7z.png
[linked because porn, illustrated]

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08. [SPOILERS for The Office]

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09. [SPOILERS for Monsters, Inc.]

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10. [SPOILERS for The Hobbit]

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[ ----- TRIGGERY SECRETS AHEAD ----- ]

11. [WARNING for incest]

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12. [WARNING for suicide]

[One Direction]

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13. [WARNING for shotacon]

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14. [WARNING for sexual harassment?]

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15. [WARNING for depression, suicide]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #313.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

14. [WARNING for sexual harassment?]
http://i48.tinypic.com/ab47si.jpg

iunno.. won't people be in too much of awe to bother legolas?

That or be afraid of him, considering that Elves are considered fierce hunters and possess magic.

(no subject)

elaminator - 2013-01-05 00:30 (UTC) - Expand

I headcanon that by and large Humans and Elves don't really mess around because the chemistry just doesn't work that way - something about each respective species' hormones weren't mean to hook up, that's why it's so rare. Luthien/Beren only happened because Luthien isn't full elf, and Aragorn/Arwen because he's kinda part elf and she's kinda part human, but your average elf and human are about as sexually incompatible as a gay man and a lesbian woman.

this comment made me realize that *i* thought it was rare because elves aren't that into swirling it up.

haughty isolationists or smth like that.

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 01:12 (UTC) - Expand

adlanth - 2013-01-05 01:23 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 04:21 (UTC) - Expand

I've seen it argued that most human-elf relationship result in elf-like humans, in that they have some elven looks, talents, etc., probably live a long time, but eventually die and pass beyond the circles of the world. --The Prince of Dol Amroth is said to have elven blood in his family somewhere, and no one seemed to think it was implausible.

visp - 2013-01-05 00:34 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 01:20 (UTC) - Expand

visp - 2013-01-05 02:15 (UTC) - Expand

...But then how did the bits get into Luthien and Aragorn? So to speak.

visp - 2013-01-05 17:46 (UTC) - Expand

Hm, I associate that sort of scenario with in the Dragon Age realm, but not so much with Tolkienverse.

Yeah, Dragon Age realm makes messed up shit like this canon. (For example, Fenris.) But in LotR? ... IDK, really.

Pretty much. Except for maybe Narnia, there's hardly a less sexual universe than LoTR. I mean, even the Orcs weren't sexually harassing people, so I don't know why the Humans would.

my headcanon is that orlando bloom had a big mancrush on mortensen and jackson just let him be because hotties²

i need to watch the two towers again, them speaking elvish to each other was so hot. so. hot.

Don't forget all the manly shoulder grabbing.

inkdust - 2013-01-05 01:16 (UTC) - Expand

Your comment reminded me of this for some reason: http://ka-ness.tumblr.com/post/39633533043/grumpybilbo-remember-when-eowyn-thought

visp - 2013-01-05 00:42 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 02:04 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 20:12 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-06 07:03 (UTC) - Expand

um yeah i think the immortal warrior elf who took down a mumakil can handle himself just saying

This is not to say I think it actually was an issue, but it might be harder to deal with a situation where killing anyone could cause a diplomatic incident.

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 04:28 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 16:45 (UTC) - Expand

I'd read it.

I'm not in LOTR fandom and I've never read any of the books, but I want to read that fic. o.O

lmao what is with this shirking violet "oh-protect-me-big-strong-estel" Legolas that so many people seem to be imagining? DID I READ/WATCH A DIFFERENT SET OF BOOKS/MOVIES OR SOMETHING

i.....really want fic of this now. i hate you.

He's probably uncomfortable surrounded by lots of humans because they hardly ever bathe, and elves are magically clean.

Eh...I think it's more likely that he's uncomfortable because the humans would be uncomfortable around *him*. I mean, iirc, elves are kinda legends to humans [one with a reputation for being pretty deadly to boot], and that kind of thing does tend to make people a little tense.

People might try, but Legolas is more than capable of fucking up anyone who lays a hand on him.

I think he sticks with Aragorn because he thinks Aragorn is gonna get into trouble and wants to be there to help get him out of it.

Because humanz (menz) are evol and will raep anyone! ANYONE I TELL YOU! It's ALL RAEP ALL THE TIME!

Seriously, OP, please go back to ASOIAF and leave other fandoms alone.

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-05 13:57 (UTC) - Expand

Seriously, can someone please remember that Legolas is an ELF and he can break the necks of every single person who even look at him wrong without even touching them? He uses a bow no human being can even draw. He's not going to need Aragorn for protection of all people.

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. Sod the potential canon difficulty of imagining that situation, that's the point of fandom. Take the pretty things and twist them in all the ways you want. Sing proud, my dear fangirl.