[ SECRET POST #2202 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2202 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Sorry, early today!

Also: I'm not going to officially warn for tongue-in-cheek "triggers" just to provide anyone with a fandom-specific in-joke when there are none in the secret.

Secrets Left to Post: 06 pages, 140 secrets from Secret Submission Post #315.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[vongroovy]

I was just thinking about this yesterday when I ran across it in some fic I was reading. I was enjoying it, then that happened, and I just stopped reading. It bothers me in real life too to some extent (mostly in relation to myself), but I've never really given it so much thought to really figure out why. A perceived loss of identity, I suppose. I don't know, it's kind of a weird thing for me to get hung up on as I hate my surname. I don't want to share a surname with my father, and I would love to change it, but I just can't imagine changing it in the context of marriage. I guess that if I choose to change it on my own, it's still me having control over my identity, whereas if I get married and change it, for me it would feel like I was letting my identity be absorbed into someone else's. If a friend or relative gets married and decides to change their name, I don't really think anything of it, but for me personally it's definitely an issue.

[(Anonymous)]

This is exactly how I feel, too.


And to be perfectly honest, the seed of this feeling was probably planted when I was a young girl and listened to the Tori Amos song "Mother," in which she sings, "He's gonna change my name," in a panicked whisper. It was sort of an OH SHIT moment for me -- I had never considered that before.

I don't like my surname, either, because no one can ever pronounce or spell it, and I've considered changing it to something simpler, but I am so, so resistant to the idea of changing it to a husband's surname and then, what, becoming subsumed into his family? No! That freaks me out. This is my name, my name is the label of who I am....I am [my first name] [my last name] -- [my first name] [some other last name] is some other person, not me.

Sorry, I have a lot of feelings about this, I guess. :/

[fenm]

OT: I think "Mother" is a really good song about the anxieties women can have about marriage (and relationships in general).
...
Carry on.

[making_excuses]

You could take your mothers last name though?

That is the last name I have had my whole life (or actually it is my great grandmothers maiden name, long story).

I never got the giving your kids their fathers last name? My children will have my last name and their fathers last name as a middle name, not the other way around. If I am going to give birth to the little bugger it sure as hell is going to have my name.