fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2204 ]

[ SECRET POST #2204 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2204 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 091 secrets from Secret Submission Post #315.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

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AND I AM STANDING IN THE CORNER AT THE PARTY SOBER AND ANXIOUS SO I JUDGE THEM

There is always one and they are the worst.

Get this: I was my best friend's maid of honor. I tried to get together a bachelorette party with these people. I even put it at a lasertag place that served beer so the two teetotalers could have fun without drinking.

Nobody showed up except the groom's gross mom. Bride asked to move it to a shitty local bar after we realized nobody was coming.

People who are really invested in never drinking can be the worst.

Wait, that's the fault of the not-drinkers how?

Also, you sound judgey. Some people choose to never drink and that's perfectly okay. How about people who do drink but not to the point of getting tipsy or drunk? What's your judgment on that?

I think it's maybe because chard set the party at a venue that had entertainment options for both the drinkers and non-drinkers a way to please everyone and the non-drinkers refused to come

The only explanation I can see for this that makes sense is, if some of the non-drinkers were recovered alcoholics and didn't want to be exposed to the alcohol (I know my cousin does this). Otherwise it's kind of like the equivalent of a huffy vegan avoiding a shared dinner with friends because the restaurant isn't TOTALLY vegan and only half the menu is vegan options

I thought she said everyone refused to come, not just the non-drinkers. If that's true, though, that is pretty dumb.

Not really. There's nothing wrong with not drinking at all.

The problem is when you turn Not Drinking into the dominant feature of your social life to the point where you refuse to hang out anywhere people may be drinking. To the point where you judge people for having one beer. Please keep in mind that neither me nor my friend get very drunk.

Hell, I'd named myself The Designated Sober Person and let everyone know so. I wasn't even going to drink! But they still wouldn't bother coming.

Basically, not drinking is fine. Turning yourself into the angst-ridden second coming of Carrie A. Nation with glares instead of hatchets is kind of lame.

Wildly unrelated to anything about this conversation, but I thought your icon was Wesley Crusher the first three times I saw it, and my shame needed to be shared with the internet.

On the flip-side, coming from a teetotaller:

The problem is when you turn Drinking into the dominant feature of your social life to the point where you refuse to hang out anywhere people might not be drinking. To the point where you judge people for not having one beer.

Also, as someone else pointed out, since it wasn't just the two teetotallers who didn't show up, I highly doubt alcohol had anything to do with the attendance issue. But thanks for assigning the scapegoats.

Well yeah. Being an alcoholic is awful.

For the record, I went to college with the teetotalers and know how they behave. I'd seen them turn down social occasions before because someone had mentioned bringing beer.

But thanks for questioning my anecdote about people I know and you don't without basis! Why are the shitty people always anon?

Edited 2013-01-15 03:07 (UTC)

anon wasn't being shitty at all.

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

chardmonster - 2013-01-15 03:15 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-15 08:38 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

diet_poison - 2013-01-15 13:22 (UTC) - Expand

Why are the shitty people always anon?

Because they hate being called out for being shitty, god forbid they use an actual identifier so people know how shitty they are

Again, pretty sure that has more to do with them being party-poopers and less with them being teetotalers.

For the record, I went to college with the teetotalers and know how they behave. I'd seen them turn down social occasions before because someone had mentioned bringing beer.

Maybe some sober people just don't enjoy hanging around a group of drunk people?

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-15 04:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-15 07:30 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

diet_poison - 2013-01-15 13:24 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-15 13:31 (UTC) - Expand

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-15 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

That still doesn't explain how it's supposedly their fault no one else turned up.

Ok, yeah, being all judgey is not a good thing, but it's also not what you said...

Yeah, I was inarticulate. Sorry.

ok, fair enough.

This so fucking hard. I've never seen people give someone a hard time for just saying they didn't want a drink. There are several people in my group of friends who don't drink and no one gives a shit, we all know they don't so we don't ask them if they want a beer or anything. The only times I've ever seen anyone get grief for it is when they acted it a totally sanctimonious way, like "eww why would you even ask me that."

Then you're lucky. I don't drink and people often give me a hard time for just saying that I don't drink. (I don't drink because I don't like the taste. I would have to force myself to drink). I often hear: "Come on, just try this, this is totally tasty!" "Don't be a poor sport!" etc.
Or they look at me like I was an alien and try (really hard) to persuade me to drink.
And no, I don't bother anyone who wants to drink.

Re: I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE CUT LOOSE

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-15 08:56 (UTC) - Expand

Also don't like the taste

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-15 10:44 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Also don't like the taste

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-17 06:39 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Also don't like the taste

(Anonymous) - 2013-01-17 14:00 (UTC) - Expand

OT: I don't drink, and my grandmother gave me an antique Carry A. Nation pin. I loves it! But I'd still go your party. :)

How does that story remotely reflect "People who are really invested in never drinking can be the worst"? I'm guessing you invited a lot more alcohol friendly people as well as those two teetotalers that also failed to show up. Sounds more like the people you invited were jerks or they all just hated lasertag.

I hate it when people cut loose. And I'm standing at the corner of the party sober and ~~anxious so I judge them~~ terrified.

I've been places where people 'cutting loose' and losing inhibitions has resulted in ... in bad things. I don't want to go back there. The smell of alcohol, the sound of people's voices when volume control has started to suffer ... By that stage, I'm locked stiff and trying not to visibly show fear.

I am aware this is probably an irrational reaction. I haven't ever successfully be able to beat it. These days, I just try to avoid places where people are drinking. I ... don't understand why that isn't allowed?

It's not judging them. I just can't react to alcohol, particularly alcohol and lots of people, with anything other than fear. I'm sorry.

Okay, for the record: it sounds like the people around you who drink are awful. Also that you have a really bad reaction to it. That's okay.

I was talking about people who get sniffy around people who aren't even particularly inebriated. The equivalent of someone getting angry at people for having a beer with their burger at TGI Fridays. I'm not talking about situations where people are getting gross and mean. I avoid those too.

Your icon makes this comment even more perfect.

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