fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2223 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2223 ⌋

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

My SO wasn't circumcised and has always been angry with his parents about it. He's started the process of getting it done a couple times (getting a referral from his GP for a specialist, having the first meeting with the specialist, etc) but has never been able to bring himself to go through with it. The risks to an adult are much higher and he is too scared to do it.

I honestly can't imagine how I'd feel. I do know that if we ever have a son that we're having him circumcised. He can go through the restoration if he wants when he is older because it is much safer than adult circumcision. By that time actual skin transplants will probably be the norm and it will be a true foreskin, anyway.

Why does he want it gone?

ayrt - Mostly for hygiene related issues that I won't go into here (TMI). But also there is still a small bit of stigma lingering from his schooldays when he was bullied in gym class because of it. There wasn't another boy the entire time he was in high school that hadn't been circumcised and starting on his first day of high school people started picking on him for having a "weird" penis. Even the friends he'd had up to that point and many girls made fun of him. It's not quite as uncommon these days (that was about 15 years ago) but it's still uncommon enough that uncircumcised American boys face being ostracized for it.

It's actually more common not to these days (just).

Even if that wasn't the case, that's not a very legitimate reason for stripping a child of their bodily autonomy. Please reconsider.

nayrt

Puh-lease. It's a scrap of skin. "Bodily autonomy" lol.

Also, you have no right to say sanctimonious bullcrap like that.

Good troll. An issue people don't discuss as much and thus don't immediatley recognize as what it is. Strong feelings.

You know how to do wank anon.

ayrt - I really don't care if you think it's a legitimate reason or not. It's disturbing that you managed to overlook the fact that there was more than one reason and zeroed in on the most minor of them all, then used that as a basis for telling me what decisions we should or should not make. We don't have to justify our legal decisions to you and neither does anyone else.

Speaking as someone who's been through a lot of medical stuff in their life- informed consent and bodily autonomy are not minor.

Foreskins may be comparatively small potatoes and the other factors described above may outweigh those this case, but they aren't minor considerations and I would have a lot less bitterness and fear toward the medical establishment if I'd had physicians who cared more about them.

ayrt - ...the fact that there was more than one reason and zeroed in on the most minor of them all...

It's all about context. Of the reasons we have for choosing this, it is comparatively minor. I am not trivializing informed consent or bodily autonomy. In this case, it is up to us to make the decision based upon informed consent. That doesn't mean deciding based on incomplete data spoon-fed to us by a doctor or some anti-circumcision activists on the internet. It means learning all we can about the issue, to include learning from others' experiences. It means weighing all the risks, considering the life-long impact of our decision, and making a decision. This is called the decision making process. And because circumcision has been an issue in my SO's family, we chose to do it all before we have a son so we're not making a momentous decision at the last second when we're emotional and overwhelmed and unable to take in all the ramifications.

You're projecting. Your bitterness and fears of the medical establishment are your own. I have medical issues that require frequent treatment for the rest of my life. Because I ask questions and do a lot of research, I have no fear of the medical establishment and certainly no bitterness for the many professionals who have helped to treat me.

I freely admit that I'm projecting, but your language seemed dismissive of autonomy and consent in all contexts, not only this one. Additionally, you've been more fortunate with your doctors than I have. Medical research and asking questions aren't always sufficient to protect you from someone who's willing to perform procedures on you without consent.

...based on the language of your your complaints about 'spoon-feeding' and activists, you sound as if you may be doing some projecting as well.

It's possible but at the time I was reacting specifically to your comment, which also happened to be the second comment I'd received in which the person not only missed the point but also used language most frequently used by activists. Your comment reeked of an agenda in both language and tone.

I have no idea what you've been through but I have nightmare scenarios playing out in my mind about how a doctor can perform procedures on a patient without consent. They all involve the use of general anesthesia and scare the hell out of me. If a doctor did something to you without your consent that wasn't explicitly in an effort to save your life when you were incapacitated to deny treatment and didn't have a living will, you need to report them. Report them to the facility's ombudsman, the AMA, your health insurance provider, your congressman, and your local media. It is NEVER acceptable for them to do that and they are a danger to patients who must be stopped.

Also, I don't know how you thought my remarks about a single topic somehow applied to "all contexts". The topic is circumcision, specifically circumcision of infants, and that was all I addressed. I also specifically stated that we made our decision based mostly on hygiene (and therefore health) related issues.

What informed consent does the individual effected by this decision have?

And violating that consent isn't minor, it's sort of a big deal.

You're clearly utterly uniformed though, because you bring up the hygiene thing as a reason. You live in the first world, teach your son to have a fucking bath once in a blue moon and that's no issue at all.

[ SECRET POST #2223 ]

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Re: Not trying to start wank but Q for females

Re: Not trying to start wank but Q for females

Re: Not trying to start wank but Q for females

Re: Not trying to start wank but Q for females

Re: Not trying to start wank but Q for females

Re: Not trying to start wank but Q for females