[ SECRET POST #2230 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2230 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Early because blizzard, not quite sure if power will last.

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 103 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 2 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[justthedriver]

People are not obligated to care for their elderly parents

Yes. They are. And if you don't? You're an ungrateful bastard. Just because you didn't ask for it doesn't mean it wasn't done for you all the same, and gratitude to due for that.

[(Anonymous)]

No, they're not obligated at all. You see, when people are born, they don't automatically sign a contract. Also, my parents were horribly abusive (in the mental/emotional/sometimes physical sense). When they're old, you can bet your ass that I sure as fuck won't be taking care of them.

[incorrupt]

/same person, different RP accounts

Yeah, the thing is, I genuinely don't understand how people can think like that. My parents are abusive as well, especially my mother, but they gave me food and shelter and paid for my education. That's at least one thing I have to repay them for, if nothing else.

[(Anonymous)]

When you have, say, a dog it is understand that you owe that dog food, pets and walkies because you took on the decision to have a dog.

Likewise, when you decide to have a child, you take on certain responsibilities. Amongst them is feeding, clothing, sheltering your kid and yes, giving them the best shot at the life they want that is within your means. Because you had them without fucking asking.

So no, you don't have to repay anything. If you want to, that's awesome. It's admirable and gracious. But don't pretend people owe their parents anything, because they fucking don't.

(That said, I love my parents despite the fucked up life they set me up for, and I pretty much intend to care for them. But there's no debt there.)

[(Anonymous)]

Once they had you, they were obligated to. Not giving you up for adoption does not mean you owe them anything. You do not need to repay them for anything because you did not ask to be born. They owed you food, shelter, and an education.

You might feel grateful, but you're not obligated to. No child is obligated to do something for their parents.

That said, if you had good parents, and you can't even be bothered to care for them, you are a bad person. You're not obligated to, no, but you're still a bad person.

[(Anonymous)]

people certainly don't sign contracts, but in 99% of cases you are kind of a shit if you abandon your family

in my culture, the family unit is something that sticks together through thick and thin. it's really sad to me when, not to point fingers, but americans are so quick to abandon families, not visit the elderly, become alienated, etc. to me, the family unit is, well, family, when people make mistakes it doesn't mean you forgive them instantly but you just don't give up on them. i get there are some exceptions with abuse, parents disowning children, etc. but the point here is the philosophy of family having a meaning that can almost never be revoked and that a lot can be forgiven if you try, that's what family is, imo, about. repairing what's broken, growing and loving unconditionally.

[(Anonymous)]

Pretty much everyone that has said you're not obligated to take care of your parents has also said you still should take care of good ones.

But the thing about Americans, and the American spirit and culture, is that it's very independent. Americans do not like being beholden to things they do not personally choose. It's not that Americans aren't willing to donate time or money to those things anyway, but they don't like being obligated. Americans generally do and want to take care of their parents, but many would also argue that they don't have an obligation to anyway. They do it out of love, not some sort of blood oath.

[(Anonymous)]

lol

[(Anonymous)]

Depends on what was done for you, doesn't it? My father died alone because all of his children had been avoiding him for years. He was found dead outside, and I still suspect he went outside to look for help and found no one was there to help him. You get what you give.

[incorrupt]

/same person, RP accounts yay

I don't know, I just feel incredibly sad whenever I hear stories like that. Or stories about how parents have been abandoned in old folks' homes. I'm making assumptions here and I apologise in advance if I'm wrong, but your father did at least feed you and house you, right? That's at least one thing he gave you, right?

[(Anonymous)]

DA

Did they? We often hear about teens being thrown out of their homes for their sexuality or because their parent's new partner doesn't like them.

Besides, should they get an award for assuring them the bare minimum for survival? That doesn't strike me as "good parenting".

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's fair if the care shown to the parents are proportional to the care they gave to their kids. Parents who loved their children and raised them to be good people will be cared for by their children in return when they are old. Parents who are abusive and did the bare minimum to raise their kids gets their basic needs taken care of in retirement homes. Parents who disowned their kids get nothing from their kids.