[ SECRET POST #2232 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2232 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 070 secrets from Secret Submission Post #319.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

The problem isn't that people are getting told how to protect themselves from rape.

The problem is that a lot of rapists aren't some random person lurking in the shadows. Often, rapists are everyday people that the victim knows, and even loves. How do you protect yourself against that?

And the other problem is that people aren't getting told "Don't rape" in addition to "Protect yourself from rape." And when the victims come forward, there's often a tendency to ask them: "What did you do to stop it?"

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

How many other crimes do we constantly go on about the need to tell people not to murder/steal/assault jw?

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[yeahscience]

How many other crimes result in the victim being harassed or disbelieved because they didn't do enough to stop it?

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Lots.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[yeahscience]

...like what? When?

"I got mugged last night."
"Oh, you were probably asking for it."

"I got stabbed with a knife."
"But did you seem like you wanted it? Did you say no loudly enough?"

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Tbh I don't think you're interested in having this argument in good faith, but fine lets pretend you are.

Fraud.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[yeahscience]

Yes, because your 'jw' was clearly also an honest question.

Do you have some kind of source that says victims of fraud are disbelieved on anything close to the same scale as rape victims are? Or that fraud goes unprosecuted to the same extent? Or that fraud victims are discouraged from seeking punishment?

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Domestic abuse when the abuser is the female of the couple.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[yeahscience]

Domestic abuse either way, actually. I'll give you that one, but I feel it ties into the same sexual politics as rape does.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

"My purse got snatched last night."
"That's what you get when you flaunt a fancy purse in that neighborhood."

"My laptop was stolen from the library."
"That's what you get when you turn your back on you stuff."

"My parents got an email they thought was from their bank, but it was a phishing scheme, and now their bank account has been cleaned out."
"LOL, how dumb do you have to be to fall for those things."

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

We are constantly telling people not to do those things. None of them is considered to be at all socially acceptable.

The problem with rape, and the thing that makes it different, is that we tell people that there are loopholes. "No" means "yes;" if you've gotten to a certain point in making out/foreplay, then s/he owes it to you to go all the way, so it's okay; if s/he's drunk, then it's okay; if s/he's dressed a certain way, then it's okay; if you're in a committed relationship, then it's okay. We make far more excuses for rape than we do for the other types of crime that have been mentioned.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[(Anonymous)]

"The problem is that a lot of rapists aren't some random person lurking in the shadows. Often, rapists are everyday people that the victim knows, and even loves. How do you protect yourself against that?" Well, yes this may be true, but some are a random person that is in the shadows, or more commonly date rape. Which can happen because you are not watching your drink.

Re: Non-fandom Secrets

[chardmonster]

True. But tactics to prevent rape and trying to do something about the fucked-up response we have to victims are not mutually exclusive.