[ SECRET POST #2259 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2259 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 100 secrets from Secret Submission Post #323.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

07. http://i.imgur.com/JZzTzZQ.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I'd be really curious if everything was really, totally fine before this happened. In my experience, falling into a fandom vortex usually happens when I'm already unhappy or scared. But god do I know how you feel. I thought about asking for help too.

[aubry]

Maybe you're just having a bit of a plateau IRL in terms of things to get excited over? Your brain and imagination latched onto something new for the escapism. I don't think it's something to worry about too much - these things wax and wane in my experience. But if it's worrying you, perhaps you could take up a new RL project too? Maybe something you and your SO can do together.

[silverr]

*hugs* Oi, do I ever know where you're at.

Sometimes it's useful to see if you can figure out what it is about the ship that draws you in so strongly: articulating that sometimes brings real-life issues into a new light.

[(Anonymous)]

So... have you heard of quigonejinn's fic, then? Because she's pretty awesome.
And any recs for this pairing? Because I also ship it like a UPS Priority Package.

(Sorry for not offering actual advice on how to bring your priorities back to normal but as I have been in a similar situation since Captain America came out and have just given in to the obsessions, my advice probably wouldn't be much help.)

[hwc]

Too lazy to actually bother with formatting and all that jazz, but here are my bookmarks on AO3.


There's also an a/b/o fic that I like but apparently didn't bookmark where Steve is an alpha and Bucky an omega, starting pre-movie with one of Bucky's heats and ending after Steve rescued Bucky from HYDRA. It was my first a/b/o fic and made me think that maybe most fics with that trope aren't actually awful. (I was wrong. Though I guess it helps that the fic in question doesn't have any of the a/b/o tropes that squick me.)

[(Anonymous)]

...which a/b/o tropes squick you? I'm asking because I got A/B/O as a prompt on my longfic bingo, and I'm kind of curious about what to avoid, since I doubt I'd be able to write it for the people who have it as a kink.

[hwc]

The self-lubricating asshole, for one. I mention this first because it's terribly universal in a/b/o fics. Depending on how the society is portrayed, the way that omegas are completely degraded/regarded as second-class citizens. It can be interesting if it's a fic focusing on the fall-out of such a society or about gender-reversals, but if it's just used as an excuse to get off I can't read it.

Female alphas growing dicks when near a omega in heat. I don't have a problem with it when the ladies already start out with a dick, but them growing them the moment they sniff a omega in heat makes me think of all the bad hentai I've ever watched. I'd love to read fic with female alphas, but this dick-growing thing is seriously putting me off. Especially as it's so unnecessary.

The fetishization of sexist gender stereotypes, from the good-for-child-bearing-and-only-child-bearing omegas to the already mentioned female alphas who grow a dick when the time comes to be strong and dominant. Freud would have a field day with the a/b/o-verse. There's also often an infintalization of omegas going on.

There's probably a lot more which squicks me about the 'verse, but I can't think of it right now. To be honest, I think of a/b/o as yaoi amped up to eleven with mpreg and knotting thrown into the mix, which should give you a rough idea about what's wrong with it.


My rule of thumb is, if an a/b/o fic DOESN'T feature sex it's something I want to read, if there is sex I only read it if the summary makes it sound like it's about gender-reversals, challenging a/b/o society, or if I know and trust the author.

[nyxelestia]

One of my biggest woes of ABO fic is that there's so much worldbuilding potential, but most of the time it gets shoved aside for the sake of porn, and the gender norms usually serve no purpose whatsoever or only as a plot device (porn or otherwise).

I am having entirely too much fun building my own version of an ABO world (female alphas don't have dicks, they have ~ovipositors~ :P), but I worry about writing/posting anything for it simply because it would probably not get read, by virtue of cutting out most of those ABO cliches or twisting them far too much for conventional ABO porny goodness. /shallow

I tend to read any ABO fics that really get into the worldbuilding and explore the gender roles and such, even if they're absolutely atrocious writing (which many of them are, including one of my favorites worldbuilding-wise). And then on the flip side even if the actual writing quality is great, if the ABO relies on squicky or stupid cliches, such as the ones you mentioned, I won't bother.

[(Anonymous)]

That's amazing! Thanks for the links.

[la_petite_singe]

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ BECAUSE THEY'RE AWESOME THAT'S WHY [/helpful comment]

[elephantinegrace]

You shouldn't compare your (very much real) relationship to Steve/Bucky. Their relationship is fictional, and very rarely can real life match something one sees in a movie.

[citrinesunset]

Maybe you can work on achieving some balance? I don't know how long your obsession has been going on, but I don't think getting distracted by something new and shiny is necessarily something to worry over too much. The main thing is making sure you reel yourself in somewhat so you can take care of other things you need/want to do. Like, maybe you can focus on making fandom and shipping stuff a reward for after you get work done.

As for your relationship, I would ask yourself how realistic your comparisons are. Real relationships aren't as idealized as fantasy ones. But this is bringing up some genuine complaints you should address?

I think everything you're describing is more likely to be a serious issue if it's an extended thing. Hopefully if you work on maintaining some balance, and let things run their course to some extent, you'll be able to enjoy your new interest without feeling like it's taking over your life.