fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2259 ]

[ SECRET POST #2259 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2259 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 100 secrets from Secret Submission Post #323.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sample groups too small. The best you can extropolate with this is that british men's oppressive beliefs predict their breast size preferences in women.

This would likely not work so well applies to say, south American men, for whom the rear would be more significant.

In short, check your Eurocentric privilege.

what in god's name has this to do with "privilege"?

Being so eurocentric, they sound white.

Yeees, because everyone in Europe is white...

And even if they are white, when the hell did that automatically equal "privilege"?

Dude, don't bother. Noodles is a troll.

Yeah, you're right. I usually try my hardest to avoid him, and when I absolutely can't keep my mouth shut I always post anon (he strikes me as the kind of guy who'd troll someone's private LJ/DW as well).

Really? What makes you think that? He always struck me as more the, "I don't take anything here seriously FOR THE LULZ" kind of troll. Stalking someone's journal implies a much greater level of both investment and effort than I expect from him. Also, it's all about him and the persona he cultivates, not about the people he's responding to. The people he trolls are just tools to be used in the construction of InsaneNoodlyGuy; he doesn't seem actively invested in seeking people out to bother.

Sinners in the Hands of an Angry InsaneNoodlyGuy
Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758)
Enfield, Connecticut
July 8, 1741
***
O sinner! Consider the fearful danger you are in: it is a great furnace of trolling, a wide and bottomless pit, full of the fire of trolling, that you are held over in the hand of that InsaneNoodlyGuy, whose trolling is provoked and incensed as much against you, as against many of the damned in hell. You hang by a slender thread, with the flames of divine trolling flashing about it, and ready every moment to singe it, and burn it asunder; and you have no interest in any Mediator, and nothing to lay hold of to save yourself, nothing to keep off the flames of trolling, nothing of your own, nothing that you ever have done, nothing that you can do, to induce InsaneNoodlyGuy to spare you one moment. -- And consider here more particularly,
1. Whose trolling it is: it is the trolling of the infinite InsaneNoodlyGuy. If it were only the trolling of man, though it were of the most potent prince, it would be comparatively little to be regarded. The trolling of kings is very much dreaded, especially of absolute monarchs, who have the possessions and lives of their subjects wholly in their power, to be disposed of at their mere will. Prov. 20:2. "The fear of a king is as the roaring of a lion: Whoso provoketh him to anger, sinneth against his own soul." The subject that very much enrages an arbitrary prince, is liable to suffer the most extreme torments that human art can invent, or human power can inflict. But the greatest earthly potentates in their greatest majesty and strength, and when clothed in their greatest terrors, are but feeble, despicable worms of the dust, in comparison of the great and almighty Creator and King of heaven and earth. It is but little that they can do, when most enraged, and when they have exerted the utmost of their fury. All the kings of the earth, before InsaneNoodlyGuy, are as grasshoppers; they are nothing, and less than nothing: both their love and their hatred is to be despised. The trolling of the great King of kings, is as much more terrible than theirs, as his majesty is greater. Luke 12:4,5. "And I say unto you, my friends, Be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that, have no more that they can do. But I will forewarn you whom you shall fear: fear him, which after he hath killed, hath power to cast into hell: yea, I say unto you, Fear him."
2. It is the fierceness of his trolling that you are exposed to. We often read of the fury of InsaneNoodlyGuy; as in Isa. 59:18. "According to their deeds, accordingly he will repay fury to his adversaries." So Isa. 66:15. "For behold, the Troll will come with fire, and with his chariots like a whirlwind, to render his anger with fury, and his rebuke with flames of fire." And in many other places. So, Rev. 19:15, we read of "the wine press of the fierceness and trolling of Almighty InsaneNoodlyGuy." The words are exceeding terrible. If it had only been said, "the trolling of InsaneNoodlyGuy," the words would have implied that which is infinitely dreadful: but it is "the fierceness and trolling of InsaneNoodlyGuy." The fury of InsaneNoodlyGuy! the fierceness of Jehovah! Oh, how dreadful that must be! Who can utter or conceive what such expressions carry in them! But it is also "the fierceness and trolling of almighty InsaneNoodlyGuy." As though there would be a very great manifestation of his almighty power in what the fierceness of his trolling should inflict, as though omnipotence should be as it were enraged, and exerted, as men are wont to exert their strength in the fierceness of their trolling. Oh! then, what will be the consequence! What will become of the poor worms that shall suffer it! Whose hands can be strong? And whose heart can endure? To what a dreadful, inexpressible, inconceivable depth of misery must the poor creature be sunk who shall be the subject of this!
Consider this, you that are here present, that yet remain in an unregenerate state. That InsaneNoodlyGuy will execute the fierceness of his anger, implies, that he will inflict trolling without any pity. When InsaneNoodlyGuy beholds the ineffable extremity of your case, and sees your torment to be so vastly disproportioned to your strength, and sees how your poor soul is crushed, and sinks down, as it were, into an infinite gloom; he will have no compassion upon you, he will not forbear the executions of his trolling, or in the least lighten his hand; there shall be no moderation or mercy, nor will InsaneNoodlyGuy then at all stay his rough wind; he will have no regard to your welfare, nor be at all careful lest you should suffer too much in any other sense, than only that you shall not suffer beyond what strict justice requires. Nothing shall be withheld, because it is so hard for you to bear. Ezek. 8:18. "Therefore will I also deal in fury: mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity; and though they cry in mine ears with a loud voice, yet I will not hear them." Now InsaneNoodlyGuy stands ready to pity you; this is a day of mercy; you may cry now with some encouragement of obtaining mercy. But when once the day of mercy is past, your most lamentable and dolorous cries and shrieks will be in vain; you will be wholly lost and thrown away of InsaneNoodlyGuy, as to any regard to your welfare. InsaneNoodlyGuy will have no other use to put you to, but to suffer misery; you shall be continued in being to no other end; for you will be a vessel of trolling fitted to destruction; and there will be no other use of this vessel, but to be filled full of trolling. InsaneNoodlyGuy will be so far from pitying you when you cry to him, that it is said he will only "laugh and mock," Prov. 1:25,26, etc.
How awful are those words, Isa. 63:3, which are the words of the great InsaneNoodlyGuy. "I will tread them in mine anger, and will trample them in my fury, and their blood shall be sprinkled upon my garments, and I will stain all my raiment." It is perhaps impossible to conceive of words that carry in them greater manifestations of these three things, viz. contempt, and hatred, and fierceness of indignation. If you cry to InsaneNoodlyGuy to pity you, he will be so far from pitying you in your doleful case, or showing you the least regard or favour, that instead of that, he will only tread you under foot. And though he will know that you cannot bear the weight of omnipotence treading upon you, yet he will not regard that, but he will crush you under his feet without mercy; he will crush out your blood, and make it fly, and it shall be sprinkled on his garments, so as to stain all his raiment. He will not only hate you, but he will have you in the utmost contempt: no place shall be thought fit for you, but under his feet to be trodden down as the mire of the streets.
3. The misery you are exposed to is that which InsaneNoodlyGuy will inflict to that end, that he might show what that trolling of Jehovah is. InsaneNoodlyGuy hath had it on his heart to show to angels and men, both how excellent his love is, and also how terrible his trolling is. Sometimes earthly kings have a mind to show how terrible their trolling is, by the extreme punishments they would execute on those that would provoke them. Nebuchadnezzar, that mighty and haughty monarch of the Chaldean empire, was willing to show his trolling when enraged with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; and accordingly gave orders that the burning fiery furnace should be heated seven times hotter than it was before; doubtless, it was raised to the utmost degree of fierceness that human art could raise it. But the great InsaneNoodlyGuy is also willing to show his trolling, and magnify his awful majesty and mighty power in the extreme sufferings of his enemies. Rom. 9:22. "What if InsaneNoodlyGuy, willing to show his trolling, and to make his power known, endured with much long-suffering the vessels of trolling fitted to destruction?" And seeing this is his design, and what he has determined, even to show how terrible the unrestrained trolling, the fury and fierceness of Jehovah is, he will do it to effect. There will be something accomplished and brought to pass that will be dreadful with a witness. When the great and angry InsaneNoodlyGuy hath risen up and executed his awful vengeance on the poor sinner, and the wretch is actually suffering the infinite weight and power of his indignation, then will InsaneNoodlyGuy call upon the whole universe to behold that awful majesty and mighty power that is to be seen in it. Isa. 33:12-14. "And the people shall be as the burnings of lime, as thorns cut up shall they be burnt in the fire. Hear ye that are far off, what I have done; and ye that are near, acknowledge my might. The sinners in Zion are afraid; fearfulness hath surprised the hypocrites," etc.
Thus it will be with you that are in an unconverted state, if you continue in it; the infinite might, and majesty, and terribleness of the omnipotent InsaneNoodlyGuy shall be magnified upon you, in the ineffable strength of your torments. You shall be tormented in the presence of the holy angels, and in the presence of the Lamb; and when you shall be in this state of suffering, the glorious inhabitants of heaven shall go forth and look on the awful spectacle, that they may see what the trolling and fierceness of the Almighty is; and when they have seen it, they will fall down and adore that great power and majesty. Isa. 66:23,24. "And it shall come to pass, that from one new moon to another, and from one sabbath to another, shall all flesh come to worship before me, saith the Troll. And they shall go forth and look upon the carcasses of the men that have transgressed against me; for their worm shall not die, neither shall their fire be quenched, and they shall be an abhorring unto all flesh."
4. It is everlasting trolling. It would be dreadful to suffer this fierceness and trolling of Almighty InsaneNoodlyGuy one moment; but you must suffer it to all eternity. There will be no end to this exquisite horrible misery. When you look forward, you shall see a long for ever, a boundless duration before you, which will swallow up your thoughts, and amaze your soul; and you will absolutely despair of ever having any deliverance, any end, any mitigation, any rest at all. You will know certainly that you must wear out long ages, millions of millions of ages, in wrestling and conflicting with this almighty merciless vengeance; and then when you have so done, when so many ages have actually been spent by you in this manner, you will know that all is but a point to what remains. So that your punishment will indeed be infinite. Oh, who can express what the state of a soul in such circumstances is! All that we can possibly say about it, gives but a very feeble, faint representation of it; it is inexpressible and inconceivable: For "who knows the power of InsaneNoodlyGuy's anger?"
How dreadful is the state of those that are daily and hourly in the danger of this great trolling and infinite misery! But this is the dismal case of every soul in this congregation that has not been born again, however moral and strict, sober and religious, they may otherwise be. Oh that you would consider it, whether you be young or old! There is reason to think, that there are many in this congregation now hearing this discourse, that will actually be the subjects of this very misery to all eternity. We know not who they are, or in what seats they sit, or what thoughts they now have. It may be they are now at ease, and hear all these things without much disturbance, and are now flattering themselves that they are not the persons, promising themselves that they shall escape. If we knew that there was one person, and but one, in the whole congregation, that was to be the subject of this misery, what an awful thing would it be to think of! If we knew who it was, what an awful sight would it be to see such a person! How might all the rest of the congregation lift up a lamentable and bitter cry over him! But, alas! instead of one, how many is it likely will remember this discourse in hell? And it would be a wonder, if some that are now present should not be in hell in a very short time, even before this year is out. And it would be no wonder if some persons, that now sit here, in some seats of this meeting-house, in health, quiet and secure, should be there before tomorrow morning. Those of you that finally continue in a natural condition, that shall keep out of hell longest will be there in a little time! your damnation does not slumber; it will come swiftly, and, in all probability, very suddenly upon many of you. You have reason to wonder that you are not already in hell. It is doubtless the case of some whom you have seen and known, that never deserved hell more than you, and that heretofore appeared as likely to have been now alive as you. Their case is past all hope; they are crying in extreme misery and perfect despair; but here you are in the land of the living and in the house of InsaneNoodlyGuy, and have an opportunity to obtain salvation. What would not those poor damned hopeless souls give for one day's opportunity such as you now enjoy!
And now you have an extraordinary opportunity, a day wherein Noodle has thrown the door of mercy wide open, and stands in calling and crying with a loud voice to poor sinners; a day wherein many are flocking to him, and pressing into the kingdom of InsaneNoodlyGuy. Many are daily coming from the east, west, north and south; many that were very lately in the same miserable condition that you are in, are now in a happy state, with their hearts filled with love to him who has loved them, and washed them from their sins in his own blood, and rejoicing in hope of the glory of InsaneNoodlyGuy. How awful is it to be left behind at such a day! To see so many others feasting, while you are pining and perishing! To see so many rejoicing and singing for joy of heart, while you have cause to mourn for sorrow of heart, and howl for vexation of spirit! How can you rest one moment in such a condition? Are not your souls as precious as the souls of the people at Suffield, where they are flocking from day to day to Noodle?
Are there not many here who have lived long in the world, and are not to this day born again? and so are aliens from the commonwealth of Israel, and have done nothing ever since they have lived, but treasure up trolling against the day of trolling? Oh, sirs, your case, in an especial manner, is extremely dangerous. Your guilt and hardness of heart is extremely great. Do you not see how generality persons of your years are passed over and left, in the present remarkable and wonderful dispensation of InsaneNoodlyGuy's mercy? You had need to consider yourselves, and awake thoroughly out of sleep. You cannot bear the fierceness and trolling of the infinite InsaneNoodlyGuy. -- And you, young men, and young women, will you neglect this precious season which you now enjoy, when so many others of your age are renouncing all youthful vanities, and flocking to Noodle? You especially have now an extraordinary opportunity; but if you neglect it, it will soon be with you as with those persons who spent all the precious days of youth in sin, and are now come to such a dreadful pass in blindness and hardness. -- And you, children, who are unconverted, do not you know that you are going down to hell, to bear the dreadful trolling of that InsaneNoodlyGuy, who is now angry with you every day and every night? Will you be content to be the children of the devil, when so many other children in the land are converted, and are become the holy and happy children of the Troll of trolls?