[ SECRET POST #2261 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2261 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising]


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03.
[My Mad Fat Diary]


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04.
[Homestuck]


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05.
[Prequel]


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06.
[Kaichou wa Maid-sama, Nana, UraBoku, Sukitte Ii na yo, Tonari no Kaibutsu-kun, and Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo]


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07.
[Skyrim]


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08.
[Dangan Ronpa]


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09.
[Star Wars/Spaceballs]


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10.
[Baraka]


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11.
[Yosoeb Yang / B2ST]


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12.
[Wolf Children Ame & Yuki]


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13.
[Charmed]


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14.
[The Following]


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15.
[Sherlock]


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16.
[Penny and Aggie]


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17.
[Teen Wolf]


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18.
[Sengoku Basara]


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19.
[Big Bang Theory]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #323.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. Leonard is the worst.

[harp]

I gave up on the show at Season 3 when I got tired of every opening scene being Leonard coming out from under the sheets with Penny- what's Leonard turned into that makes him the worst? When I left, he was just Sheldon's patient BFF (which I kinda liked- that tired patience).

[yeahscience]

IDK, I had a lot of issues with Leonard before I quit watching (which was around s3, I think). He's always been massively entitled when it comes to women, does that whole Nice Guy self-loathing passive-aggressive "oh I'm such a nerdy failure but I'm less of a nerdy failure than those nerdy failures," etc.

[harp]

Either I haven't seen enough TV or I haven't been watching the right kinds of shows, but either way, I am seriously not understanding the new (to me) phenomenon of "nice Guy Syndrome" and hatred for it/them. From what I understand, a "nice guy" is a guy who is kind and single and NGS is when he laments because dumber/meaner men have girlfriends and he doesn't.

If that's the case, I just don't get how anyone could hate on that. We all complain. If the guy is just complaining about that, what's wrong with wondering "what am I doing wrong that no girls want to date me"? If he was insulting the girl while he did it or making generalizations about all females, then that doesn't seem like he earns the title of "nice guy". Wondering and moping and lamenting doesn't seem the same as being entitled.

Moreso, I don't see anyone pointing to examples of "this is how guys should act". This is absolutely not directed at you, YeahScience- sometimes I just feel sorry for these poor dopes and want to ask for them "alright, people, then what do you want them to say? Do? Think? How do you want them to act? And you may not use the words "don't be" or "don't do" in your answer. All I ever hear is a bunch of don'ts and I get the feeling that y'all have no idea what you want other than an effigy".

Really, though, I've never seen anyone on FS point to an example of some bloke "doing it right". It's like "well shoot, all you have to do is drop dead where you stand and you'll be alright, sir."

[yeahscience]

If he was insulting the girl while he did it or making generalizations about all females, then that doesn't seem like he earns the title of "nice guy".

Er, no, that's actually exactly what Nice Guys (as opposed to genuinely nice men) are. Guys who blame women for the fact that they can't get laid when it is either their own fault or the fault of the circumstances they're in.

In Leonard's case, it's been a few years since I watched the show, but I remember both him and the show itself making a lot of comments at Penny's expense to the effect that she was slutty, indecisive, settling for men who weren't ~as good~ as Leonard, basically generally being fairly demanding about the idea that she should naturally want to be with Leonard and no one else even though he's arrogant, whiny, self-loathing, kind of greasy, and treats his (douchey) friends like shit.

[otakugal15]

Oh god this. You nailed Leonard to a "T" in this. He makes me want to stop watching the show, but I still like some of the characters, so I haven't dropped it yet....but fuck Leonard. I hate his goddamned guts.

[itstopped]

Ugh I scrolled down to read other comments and I had forgotten about that episode where he shamed the fuck out of Penny for not finishing college JESUS CHRIST what an asshole he is.

[otakugal15]

I know right?! And then he ends up redoing her paper, after she specifically said not to do anything this past season!! Talk about respecting wishes, there, Leonard (not).

[invoke]

Nice Guy syndrome (at least, my understanding of it) is more guys who say that they're nice guys, but are always relegated to friend status - and resent women, because they feel they're entitled to a girlfriend of their choice (and said woman should have no reason to turn them down, because they are such a nice guy). The problem is never them, it's always because women are bitches, women don't know what they want, women say that want to date a nice guy but always date assholes, etc.

To be honest, it's not something I pay attention to in TV shows, but more IRL (shit like this, essentially.)

[harp]

i did read that, and I think I have a better understanding now- thank you. Those men don't act nice at all, or at least they don't say nice things on their profile. That's why I wish journaling platforms weren't dying. People need places to vent, or else their venting will come out where it ought not. I can just see those men writing their profiles- "I like girls who like sports *train of thought gets caught on emotional snag; train keeps moving, clothes get ripped off exposing inner thoughts* and not stupid-ass bitches like Derpina my ex who cheated on me with a basketball player >C" . So textbook and transparent.

I just wished they didn't include that J.M Baker person. I don't know who she is, but she doesn't sound like a kind individual at all. Her words were as mean and ugly and dismissive as any of the not-nice guys.

[invoke]

I understand that people need places to vent, but you'd think people would realize that a public profile that you're using to try and date people isn't the best place to do so! I can't even imagine writing something like that. And I wouldn't say all of it is venting, either...some of them make themselves out to be pretty stellar on their profiles, or paint their exes in a negative light and themselves as the martyr - and then answer the questions with things that show their inner jerk.

The OKCupid tumblr example was just the first thing that came to mind because I've had friends linking articles about it more recently, but come to think of it, my first exposure to the whole idea of "Nice Guys" was this blog post.

I guess I'm kind of half and half on her comments...yes, she was unforgiving, but at the same time, Nice Guy Syndrome isn't something that should just be ignored. I'm not saying that guys have no right to feel bitter about how past relationships have gone, or lonely, or anything like that - but women don't owe them anything by default, and the entitled attitude needs to change, you know?

[harp]

Yes, I do know.

Yet another reason why I wish so hard for the day when people realize that instead of spending energy looking at the problem child throwing the temper tantrum (that's what the "nice guy" is doing- he's ignored so he's kicking his feet and throwing a babby tantrum like a huge babby) we do like Miss Binney and say "I like the way Ramona remembers to raise her hand". I mean yes we need to scold people sometimes, but there seems to be an awful lot of scolding and how can we expect the dunderheads to know what to do on their own? Clearly they don't know.

(By the way, I'm not trying to tell you or anyone how to live. This is just my month's goal, to re-spin all of the don'ts in my vocabulary into proactive, statements, like "don't skip your chores --> do your work right away" and stuff like that)

[diet_poison]

I think you explained it well, and that link was a good one. The guys featured seemed to be more open about their Nice Guy-ness, maybe because people tend to be more honest on the internet.

I made the mistake of scrolling down and reading the first comment. :| Decided not to read any more comments.

[invoke]

Perhaps, although like I said above...some of it was more hidden in the ways they answered questions, rather than what they said outright. Regardless, catching it early as opposed to finding out later is a good thing!

Not reading the comments is probably the safer way to do it. :| Articles like that tend to bring out the worst in people...

[(Anonymous)]

Then why giving it such a confusing name? A (as one wrote, genuine) nice geek is what I look for in a man.

This nice guy thing is starting to scare me, are you guys really telling me that my dream guy won't exist since if I keep looking for nice I will end up with a misogynist?

[(Anonymous)]

Are you stupid?

If not, you will hopefully be able to tell a Nice Guy (TM) from a genuine nice person.
The name wasn't given to them by their observers, it was given to them by themselves. If the man you're interested in is constantly whining about how is he such a "nice guy" but "women want to get mistreated/women are vapid bitches/women don't know what's good for them (me) - that's why they're always picking assholes and I hope they will all get raped" then I hope you won't end up dating him oO

[itstopped]

What the above anon said. They're called Nice Guys because the typical rallying call is "WHY DO WOMEN DATE JERKS INSTEAD OF NICE GUYS LIKE ME?"

[akaku_somaru]

Like the anon above said, it's what they call themselves. "Nice Guys" think their niceness is so much of a selling point that it trumps anything else about them. What they don't seem to realize, though, is that they shouldn't have to advertise that they are decent human beings and think they're owed something for that.

There is a difference between a genuinely nice/good guy, and a guy who says he's nice because women owe him sex. You just have to pay attention to how they paint themselves and women. I mean, again, sometimes people are bitter or have very negative feelings toward an ex...I know I do. But that doesn't give them the right to blame all women and expect compensation.

[yeahscience]

And the reason people come up with lists of "don't"s is that, much like editing, being a decent dude who is not terrible at women is hard to spot when it's being done well. Off the top of my head... well, definitely no one on The Big Bang Theory, that's for sure. I don't know what other shows you watch but both Cougar Town and New Girl recently had storylines about this general topic that I liked, which was basically: "Hey guys who are bad at women, just be honest and upfront with them and don't get mad at them if they don't want on your jock after that." (Although New Girl fucked its own message up with Schmidt, oh well.)

[tabaqui]

I don't get the Leonard = (bad) Nice Guy thing, either. He didn't ever try to blackmail or bully Penny into a relationship/sex, or make her feel bad for dating other people, or call her a slut or anything else. I dunno.

[(Anonymous)]

Do you even watch the show? Leonard has done all of those.

[tabaqui]

I have. It's cotton candy, so i don't *remember* it all that much, or even know what season its in, but no, i don't remember him calling her a slut or blackmailing her into sex.

[(Anonymous)]

Nice Guys = guys who think if they put enough niceness into a woman like a vending machine, that sex will come out of them

[(Anonymous)]

I think to be a Nice Guy (as opposed to a guy who is nice) is that a Nice Guy will be "nice" to you - he'll treat you like a friend - but he is only doing so with the aim of getting you to date him. He's not really interested in you, deep down; he just wants you as a girlfriend, and he feels that he, as a guy, is owed one. That you owe him something (sex, dating) purely because he was nice to you.

A bloke "doing it right" would be a guy doing those things I mentioned, but without the added agenda of getting in your pants.

At least, that's my understanding of it. Like I said, there's a difference between Nice Guys, and nice guys.

[(Anonymous)]

Nice Guy Syndrome is bascially just guys who think they deserve the girl they're interested in because they are nice guys. They think them not being a shitty human is all it should take to have every girl begging to be their girlfriend and girls who aren't attracted to them or won't date them in spite of not being attracted to them are slutty illogical bitches. But if a Nice Guy doesn't want to date a nice girl because he isn't attracted to her that's just life and no one should expect him to settle.