[ SECRET POST #2267 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2267 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 072 secrets from Secret Submission Post #324.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 1 2 3 - trolls ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I'm pretty sure I want to drop out of college, but I have no idea what I'd do with my life if I did...

[(Anonymous)]

Well, two questions seem to come to mind here. Why do you want to drop out of college? And what would you do with your life if you stayed in college?

[(Anonymous)]

Second question first: I'd get my degree, intern, and theoretically pursue a career in that field. It's an abstract idea that I can't think too much about because depression tends to kick in and tell me I can't, I'm not good enough, I'll never get there. And therefore it's as much of a fantasy as "some day I'll travel the world!"

And as for your first question, I'm miserable now because all I can see is day after day of doing this same thing and having nothing to show for it.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, get help for your depression and talk to people, and find a way to make your life bearable.

Do you really think your depression is going to go away if you leave college and drop out and just lay in bed all day? It's not. The thing to do is to address the depression. I mean, lord knows I've been there, but dropping out is not the solution to this problem. The problem is depression, not college. You can do it, anon. Please, please, please talk to someone and find a way to live your life.

[dethtoll]

Do not let your depression win. I've gone through crises of my own where I think I have no idea what the hell I'm doing, my career choice is a dead end, et cetera et cetera. It's a nightmare, and it's not helpful at all.

Do not do that to yourself. 8 years of college nearly killed me but I finally managed to pull it off somehow. (And now I kinda wanna go back, just to have something to do!) I doubt you'll be in for that long -- so persevere. Sometimes it'll drag on and on and on -- it certainly did for me, especially early on. But the thing about time is that it's linear, and eventually, as you trudge onward, you'll start seeing the end in sight.

[morieris]

Do you want to climb up a corporate ladder? Do we still live in a time where one could do small jobs to sustain themselves and travel overseas by cargo ships and what not?

...too much fiction.

[(Anonymous)]

Well, first it would be helpful to know why you want to drop out.

(Though I feel your pain. I was so burned-out on and stressed because of college that I had to drop out, and took over a year to get my health back together, somewhat. And boy do I not want to go back.)

[(Anonymous)]

I have anxiety and depression on top of other physical health issues that make it a challenge for me to accomplish day-to-day things, much less the bonus college experience. Meanwhile, I have all kinds of outside people telling me I just have to try harder. I can't see any sort of light at the end of the years of tunnel... I know I need to do this, but I just don't want to keep trying anymore.

[dethtoll]

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEL. After 8 years I was ready to be done -- but also after 8 years, I was excited to finally be successful in some fashion. I've never been more proud of myself than graduation day.

To help with that light at the end of the tunnel is to first see how close you are to the goal. I'm assuming you've declared your major? Find out what classes you need to finish up, and make a list out of them. Mark them off as you take and pass them. Over time that list will get shorter and shorter.

If you're not too far in to your college career, consider changing colleges, especially if you're going to a community college. I felt trapped with nowhere to go when I was in my first college, which was, of course, a little rinkydink community college called Cincinnati State. Those were some of the worst years of my life -- long rides on one of the shittiest public transit systems in America, whole days where I would be away from home for 12 hours or more, and the only thing I learned there was that I didn't want to be a history major anymore. It was a lot of wasted money because while I was supposed to be getting government aid, my caseworker did not actually like me and refused to help me in any way. Sometime around 2 and a half years of that I finally said "no, you know what, fuck this shit" and bailed. I took 3 months off and transferred to a satellite of my local university. It had the community college atmosphere and indeed WAS a community college, but its association with University of Cincinnati meant I was getting better quality education and the atmosphere was quite different as well. It was closer to home, and I was getting rides from mom. I eventually got my driver's license and that made possible the next step -- transferring to the main campus, necessitated by my final choice of degree to pursue (journalism.) I don't think I ever would've finished college if I hadn't left Cincinnati State.

[(Anonymous)]

I know everyone is emphasizing how much you should stay in school, but...take a break. Stay home, sleep as long as you want to, learn to live without deadlines and stressers from every corner. Apply for public assistance if you need to and it's possible, it's what it's there for (and I say this as both a sufferer of anxiety and panic disorder *and* a republican). Take several months to just decompress. Then slowly start looking around for what interests you, volunteer somewhere, go at your own pace.

Nowadays people are going back to college at all ages, even if they already had degrees in something else. You can earn a degree any time; there is no ticking clock. Your health and well-being should come first.

I know it's more common for people to say you shouldn't run away from your problems, but that's bullshit. Sometimes problems need running away from. I stuck it out too long and now I can't even step alone on campus without having a panic attack. Get out of your rut and try something else.

[dethtoll]

Unfortunately, unless you actually want to get ahead in life, you need a degree. Which I don't understand. What's with our national obsession with having a piece of paper just to get a job in the first place? Having a degree doesn't automatically mean you're somehow more qualified, especially if it's a job outside your chosen field. As the quality of college education deteriorates, the meaningfulness of a degree decreases in kind, and yet you're not considered hireable for anything besides backbreaking manual labor or soul-destroying retail or food service without one.

Stay in college. It took me 8 years and two breaks to finish, and while I'm currently jobless, my chances of finding a new job are vastly better than they would be if I'd never gotten my degree.

[(Anonymous)]

That scares me. All I have is the abstract idea of "someday this will lead to a job and a stable life", but there's the fear that it actually won't, and I'm just torturing myself for nothing.

[(Anonymous)]

There's no guarantees, anon. The point is, if you get a degree, your chances of a job and a stable life are almost exponentially better than if you don't.

I know it sucks, and it sucks even more with depression. But it really is better to struggle through it and finish if you can. These things do NOT get easier with age, trust me.

[(Anonymous)]

Having a degree usually just means "I fought and struggled through four years of shit because I WANT IT," and that's a good enough mark of character for anything. For some degrees--math or science, or advanced degrees--it means "I have the mental capabilities to do this work! AND I WANT IT."

That shit is better than a resume, even when they're not required for a position.

[(Anonymous)]

That shit is better than a resume, even when they're not required for a position.

I'm sorry but this? Personally, I have had minimal interested in the coursework section of my resume. HR was much more interested in my actual work experience.

I was lucky to go to a college with co-op so I had 3 work experiences ready and that's the reason why I got hired right out of college, not the degree itself. (So HR tells me.)

[(Anonymous)]

That last part is the only thing keeping me from dropping out (again). Although if my grades keep dropping my uni will kick me out on their own lol.

[(Anonymous)]

My grades are slipping also. I'm finding it hard to care anymore.

[(Anonymous)]

Me too anon. I wish I had some good advice to help you out but all I can offer is that you aren't alone in your feelings.

[lynx]

I'm on the same boat, anon. My advice would be: start therapy with someone you can trust, get as much of a support net as you can. Talk with your doctor, talk to your parents, talk to your friends. Think it out with everyone's help, and take small steps every day to feel like you've done something with your time before you go to bed.

It's hard as fuck, and if you don't have any motivation changing habits will take time, but please don't let yourself drop to the bottom. Stay strong. And think about stuff you like, that you'd like to do to support yourself. Do you write? Why not writing for money? Drawing for commissions? Selling stuff on etsy? It doesn't seem like much, but it really helps to gain a sense of independence, and the feeling that the paper with your name and career on it it's not what defines you.

All my hugs for you, OP. *sends positive energies*

[(Anonymous)]

I would love to write for money, but motivation issues and writer's block go along with the depression. I am looking into that, though, since you mentioned it. If I could just write, then maybe... Thank you.

[sootyowl]

I dropped out/failed college because my depression got so bad I didn't leave bed. Now I'm in a huge rut and am trying to figure things out. And I have been in said rut for over a year now.

If it really makes you unhappy and you think you could find happiness elsewhere, dropout (maybe even make a plan of what you want to do before you dropout). But if you think you'll just be spinning wheels in the mud (like me), getting nowhere but letting your depression fester, don't dropout. Keeping chugging along and hopefully you'll find a job that you love after.

Either way, I hope you figure out the right choice for you OP and find happiness.

[(Anonymous)]

I dropped out of college because I was feeling the same. I was pretty aimless for a couple years. I'd be jobless for a few months, find a job, be let go (because I found jobs through a temp agency), find a new one, repeat. I finally got my shit together and found a job working assembly at a medical device company. I don't get paid well, but good enough to get by and I have pretty good medical insurance (which became important to me for some reason). The company I work for also has a lot of options for employees to move up within the company (one guy I know went from an assembler, to a specialist, to a mechanic, to an engineer; all from hard work, of course, and in order to become a mechanic he had to get a degree but I take it working a in place you know you want to stay at gave him the drive to go back to school and get his degree in order to move up; and some positions don't require a degree so it gives us all some room to consider our options).

So you're not COMPLETELY helpless if you drop out of college, but just keep in mind that you should have a backup plan, and it's not easy AT ALL to go out there and work.

My sister tells me, however, it's probably best to get your degree first and get it over with. And from what almost everyone says, it is wiser to finish college first and then try to get your life in order.

Sorry that I was of no help, OP.

[illiadandoddity]

I dropped out of college, mainly for financial reasons, and it turned out to be the best decision I could have made for my general well-being. I don't know why exactly you want to drop out, but with everyone saying "BUT THOU MUST", I thought it would be good to mention that sometimes it can be the right choice. I felt stagnant in college. Now I feel like life is actually happening and moving for me.

[citrinesunset]

First of all, I'm sorry you're going through this, and that you're having trouble finding support.

Second, if possible, I would recommend being careful about making too many major decisions right now. One of the really hard things about being depressed is that it can be tough at times to have an objective view of what's hindering you, and what's collateral damage.

I had milder problems with depression, and dropping out of my academic program and majoring in something else ended up making me much happier. But it was still a risk, and before I came to that decision, I'd seriously planned on quitting my job (without any sort of backup way of earning money). Now, in retrospect, changing my program was a great decision. But I don't know what the hell I was thinking when I considered quitting my job, and after I started addressing my problems, my job became much more tolerable.

Can you take a break from school for the time being? Would you be able to take a semester off to reevaluate things? Depending on your school, doing that can make it easier to return if you decide to stick with it. I think taking a break could be a good idea. Also, if you're in the Northern hemisphere, you might have summer break coming up within the next couple months. Will you be able to take the summer off, at least? If you're not well enough to manage school right now, that's okay. You're far from the first person to need a break. But it doesn't necessarily mean you need to make a (semi-)permanent decision now, either. Unless you're certain that dropping out feels best.

I don't think dropping out of school is always a bad idea. But it can make finding a job more challenging. And whether you stay in school or decide to quit, you might need more energy and determination than you're capable of right now. So I would definitely encourage you to seek out another source of support no matter what you do. If your school's counseling center hasn't worked out, there might still be other options. For example, does your school have a medical center? You could see if they offer psychiatric screening or can give referrals. There might also be some clinics in your city that will offer mental health services at an affordable rate.

[writerserenyty]

What point in college are you? I honestly had those thoughts when I was in my sophomore year because I was just frustrated and unhappy, but I switched majors and it honestly made all the difference. I freaked out, considered dropping out, but then I realized that I wasn't unhappy with college, persay, but with my major (English Lit) and switched into my current major (Film studies) and I'm happy as a clam that's graduating in a few months and is job hunting. XD (but that's what's happening with all my friends, regardless of major)

I think at this point you should think about what you want to do, and what would make you happy, then make a decision. Until then, stick in college. It's unfortunate, but most jobs require a bachelor's degree in anything at all. Your major doesn't have to be your career, and unless you're going for a technical/engineering kind of field you don't necessarily need a direct degree in what you get a job in.