fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2273 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2273 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

idk, when and how did you realize you weren't?

(not directly at OP, just anybody - this is a dumb question)

I don't think it is. Heterosexuality is so much the "default" in mainstream American culture that I assumed I was straight for years, even though all signs pointed elsewhere. Coming to terms with my sexuality was a process for me that it just isn't for straight people.

While this is true, the problem is that it assumes that all queer folks have a "pin drops" point, and that's not really true. Hell, I spent 4~6 years slowly zigzagging around the rainbow and figuring myself out, and I can't really tell you when it all settled into place and made sense, nor could I tell how how I came to this currently-stable conclusion.

I just find it a little demeaning, like I need to justify my "queerness" with some "and that's when I realized I like cock!" moment. I don't mind other people's stories, because some are funny and interesting and heartwarming, but when the question is posed from somebody who a) I don't know, and b) doesn't have any apparent reason for wanting to know, I get a little bristly.

Ah, I understand what you're saying now. The comparison to straight people "realizing" they're straight is what threw me, because it's not something they really have to think about, whereas I had to think about my sexuality for years to come to any solid conclusions.

I don't really have a "when" or a "how" moment either--like I said, it was a process. I nearly wrote a novel trying to answer the OP and had to erase my whole comment and start over. It's definitely not the most accurate way to phrase the question, but it doesn't really phase me when people ask.

But nobody is asking you to justify anything. It's just a general discussion post. You're reading too much into it.

I'm sorry, anon, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or make you feel talked down to. I'm just genuinely curious because I've been figuring myself out a little bit later than most people so I was trying to see honestly if there was anyone else like me, and I also just like hearing people's life stories.

Because mine is such a process I didn't really want to share my own.

OP, you did nothing wrong. Don't sweat it. Some people have chips on their shoulders.

[ SECRET POST #2273 ]

Re: When and How Did You Realize You Were Queer

Re: When and How Did You Realize You Were Queer

Re: When and How Did You Realize You Were Queer

Re: When and How Did You Realize You Were Queer

Re: When and How Did You Realize You Were Queer

OP

Re: OP