fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2283 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2283 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

__________________________________________________

11.

__________________________________________________

12.

__________________________________________________

13.

__________________________________________________

14.

__________________________________________________

15.

__________________________________________________

16.

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 032 secrets from Secret Submission Post #326.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Then either speak up or shut up and watch it. You're afraid to tell your boyfriend you don't like a movie?

Edited 2013-04-04 00:49 (UTC)

Angry, much?

And yup. I don't like hurting people's feelings, particularly when it has to do with someone trying to do something nice for me. And if that means putting up with things I hate-- like the pineapple-chocolate pies my mom makes every year for my birthday-- then I do it.

This secret was just me venting, in all honesty. I hate the fucking movie, but I'm probably just going to hold out until BF gets bored of it (which probably won't be for a while as he's the type to get obsessed over things-- much like me).

It's been troubling me for a long time and I've never told anyone and F!S seemed the best place to vent a little anonymously. *Shrugs*

No, that's not hurting peoples feelings. That's being a spineless twit.

You whine and ignore the several obvious good solutions in this thread? You fucking deserve what you get.

But he doesn't deserve a liar like you. You aren't nice. You're deceptive. And a martyr about it.

And as said above? When you actually have a real problem? Oh ho ho ho. You're fucked sweetheart. Because you'll apply this shitty philosophy to those too and it'll all go up in flames.

Unfucking yourself is something you should get on NOW.

Edited 2013-04-04 01:42 (UTC)

CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Have you ever considered that the OP might have cause for her fear of confrontation? Usually that's the symptom of a number of issues like anxiety, low self-esteem, an abusive childhood environment, etc. Fact of the matter is that YOU DO NOT KNOW, so quit treating people like shit you asshole.

I for one used to have an extreme fear of confrontation because of crippling anxiety and it took years of therapy and medication to change. Even now I still have a hard time letting down my loved ones because of it and have to constantly work not to be passive because being passive generally keeps my anxiety levels low. Will you call me a spineless twit because of that, too?

Jeezus, what were you even hoping to accomplish by being such an asshole?

Hey, it's rule #1 of FS. Insanenoodlything is always an asshole - and neither use nor ornament.

i can't tell if you're serious or not, but on the off chance you are...

stop that. okay? this is bad and unhealthy for you. it's way worse for people to think they're doing something nice for you when you hate it than it is to just speak up and say 'actually i don't like it'

if you didn't speak up at first and you still hate the thing don't just resign yourself to it and then complain to other people, fucking say something. even just "man, i'm not really feeling it anymore."

This! This exactly! Said nicer than me but just as true!

except through this behaviour you are probably creating a far bigger potential fall-out and hurt feelings than if you were honest.

If you would've been honest from the start, there may have been some hurt feelings (if at all, most people don't actually feel hurt when their gifts are rejected for reasonable reasons) but they probably would not have been major or long lasting unless this is part of a bigger pattern. Now however, you have created the situation where you are constantly lying to your boyfriend about your enjoyment every time you do this thing together. Your boyfriend who thinks he is doing you a favour. It actually feels far more hurtful that someone way lying to you over a long period of time rather than that one moment of rejection because it brings up the thing what other things are you potentially lying about that he thinks you enjoy.

just tell

a) your boyfriend, that you've grown tired of the movie

b) your mom, that you don't like the pineapple-chocolate pies as much as you did before

and, for similar future situations, don't lie about them! the initial leap of faith is going to be hard, but like everyone said, it'll be easier to cut this in the bud than to strangle the whole plant.

also, i'm trying to think of a tactful way to say this, but consider taking a good, hard look at your thought processes: your fear of how people will react if you say no or you seem "ungrateful" is way worse than how reasonable, sane people react in real life. seriously, even if it "hurts their feelings", i promise you that if they are emotionally healthy people they will get over it and love you anyway. for reals, op. only mentally/unbalanced people would rage over something like "wow, thanks, i appreciate the gesture, but I actually prefer more [etc], but thank you so much for thinking of me, it's very sweet! *hugs*" and stop wanting to be your friend/boyfriend/family member/etc.

i am saying this because i used to be this way too, op, and you don't realize how disconnected your fears and expectations of possible social fallouts are until you learn to distance yourself from them and just look at reality objectively

See, though, that's the thing about gift-giving, the point of it for most people is wanting to make the recipient happy. If I gave somebody a gift or cooked them a special meal that they didn't like, I'd want to know so that next time I can give them something that they do like.

I don't like hurting people's feelings, particularly when it has to do with someone trying to do something nice for me. And if that means putting up with things I hate-- like the pineapple-chocolate pies my mom makes every year for my birthday-- then I do it.

I do not foresee a happy future for you in terms of personal relationships and I honestly feel bad that you think this somehow describes what a ~good person does.

YOU ARE LIVING A LIE!

Seriously though, lies hurt people way more than you telling them honest opinions. If I were your mom/bf/friend I'd be pretty insulted about all this. Do you think they are so fragile or that they're so invested in this one thing (cake, movie, whatever) that they can't handle knowing that you don't like it? Your mom I'm sure will be just as happy to bake a different pie or cake each year.

[ SECRET POST #2283 ]

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE

Re: OP HERE