[ SECRET POST #2293 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2293 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________



12.


__________________________________________________



13.


__________________________________________________



14.


__________________________________________________



15.


__________________________________________________



16.


__________________________________________________


















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 105 secrets from Secret Submission Post #328.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. http://i45.tinypic.com/34e5gfd.png

[(Anonymous)]

Making friends online can be tough, especially if you're shy and have trouble starting conversations. I can't really offer any advice about how to make friends on Tumblr, since I haven't quite figured the trick out myself. Most of the people I talk to on there are ones I already know through other sites. :/

As far as your art goes, I'd say go ahead and post it, if you feel comfortable sharing? You may get some great comments and mean friends that way.

[(Anonymous)]

It takes time, patience, and a lot of observation. Look at how others interact, the way they talk, the tone and phrases. It'll be a lot of trial and error and chance.

Don't give up! It takes a lot of work to learn a new skill and that is exactly what you're doing. You're teaching yourself a whole new skillset, just keep at it!

[hiyami]

Socializing is an acquired talent, not an inborn one. Use a pseudonym you can ditch, observe how people interact on a fandom board, try to socialize, and pay attention to the reactions to what you post.

If people react badly, don't freak out. Apologize if there's been a misunderstanding. If people get agressive, ignore them. Don't care too much : consider it all as exercises. The more you do it and the better you'll be at it.

[tei]

This. I only recently realized that socializing is something is something you have to practice and improve at. Which is scary but also awesome.

[(Anonymous)]

The thing is, I did that. I made a ton of friends when I was using an alias. But I still don't know how to apply that to myself.

[kaijinscendre]

*shakes computer monitor* COME TALK TO MEEEE! I am friendly and will talk with you! But yeah, I get bored a lot.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh god, are you me? I just started on Tumblr hoping to be able to talk to some other fans there, but right now I'm worried I'll just be babbling into the void forever. And yeah. (I had the most success making fandom friends when I joined RPs... but I've learned that I'm too flaky to keep up with RPs, I suck. ;_; )

[sootyowl]

I've learned that on the internet, you're bound to piss someone off no matter how PC you are. So you just have to go for it and realize more people are nice to you than naught.

Making friends is hard, even on the net, but randomly conversing with people tends to work.

What fandoms are you into anon?

[(Anonymous)]

I don't make friends much online anymore, and I have NEVER made a friend on tumblr. But my suggestion would be to use tumblr as a jumping off point and start giving people your chat information (AIM, skype, whatever you want to use) because that was always how I gained better friends.

Really you don't have to talk about anything interesting, usually it's just about talking to people often enough that you bond. And online you kind of need to do it a lot since you don't have the benefit of face to face interaction (this is a big reason why I don't make online friends anymore, it can be pretty time consuming, but don't give up! Some of my closest friends started as online friendships.)

[(Anonymous)]

The key to making friends online is to talk to people. Talk to people a lot. A lot of people. (And don't be an asshole when you do it. It doesn't matter if you're clever or interesting, as long as you're not an asshole.)

Really. That's all there is to it. It took me about five years to figure it out, though. :/

Everybody else is as hesitant to reach out to a stranger as you are, and as long as you lurk, you will stay a stranger. But the more you reach out, the more comfortable people will get with you, until you end up being friendly with them just 'cause you're used to each other!

Always follow people you find interesting, too. Nobody gets upset at being followed (they might get upset if you expect something in return, so don't - following is its own reward) but seeing you on their followers list makes your name sound more familiar, and gives it more context when you do comment.

If you're still afraid of annoying people or making them angry - and I understand, I do - make it a goal to *always* reply when people you follow *ask* for comments or feedback or answers. When those posts go around saying "talk to me", or someone asks a specific question, or "reblog this if", or "I want to start a discussion on" - force yourself to *always* answer or reblog with a comment, even if all you have to say is "me too!" or "I don't know either, but the question is interesting!". People specifically asking for replies are a lot less likely to react oddly if they get them, and it'll get you more comfortable with speaking up in general.

(And the goal here is *not* "I hope they reply to me I hope they reply to me" it's "oh hey, I made myself comment! Go me!" The friendliness will come over time, not as a result of one really spectacular reblog comment.)

[mistressofmuses]

This is a lot of really good advice.

[(Anonymous)]

bullshit advice, doesn't work

Note: I don't know about making friends on tumblr.

[elaminator]

Making friends can be hard on OR off the net. It takes a lot of trial and error and sometimes time too.

The best thing you can do imo is just be yourself. It sounds corny, but that's probably the easiest way to attract people who will be interested in what you have to say. (You shouldn't spend too much time thinking about what will aggravate people either; no matter what, SOMEONE will always take something you say the wrong way. It's best to just think carefully, put it out there, and let it go.)

Maybe start commenting more (with an account)? On other people's comments, entries, whatever. If you find people who you have something in common with and who you get along with, you'll probably make friends.

(And I say to post your art. It's a good way to get yourself out there without going to too much effort. That way, people might come to you.)

[making_excuses]

I wish I could help you OP, I am pretty good at making friends in Real Life and I suck at making friends online. I never know how one does it? It was easier when I were younger, and didn't over think stuff... Though what seems to work is to comment on stuff, engage in conversations and try to respect other peoples opinions.

Why can't I just use my Real Life Friend Making Techniques Friends Makingpatent pending to make friends online?

[(Anonymous)]

I think tumblr is not the place to start if you already have trouble making friends. A lot of people are just there to post/reblog pretty pictures, and the site format makes it difficult to carry on a conversation (I'm still confused how people use tumblr to RP tbh).

That being said, people often post links to sites where it's easier to try to make a personal connection, like their twitter, livejournal/dw, etc. Use them, start commenting and see if you click.

[truxillogical]

I feel ya, anon.

I still lurk a LOT, really, even though I'm better about interacting these days. But I also get these times when I freak out, and it doesn't matter if I'm having a nice comment-conversation with a cool person, I suddenly Can't Social, and I want to make sure I Say The Right Thing, and that makes me put off whatever reply I had, and I put it off and off, and then it looks like I just walked away, y'know?

I've lost at least one cool potential friend like that.

Sorry, that was less than helpful. Hate to say it, but Tumblr might also be less than helpful. See if there are still any active LJ comms or messageboards for fandoms you enjoy--it's really easy to pop into the comment section of an LJ post and start/join a conversation.

And maybe keep up with the fanart? E'rrybody loves fanart.

[(Anonymous)]

Tumblr is a shit hole. forget making fandom friends, it will never work.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel you OP, I feel you. I don't think tumblr may be a good place to find people, though, because it lacks a way to hold a proper conversation.

[ex_paola492]

Tumblr is hard to start making friends in. Not to mention starting discussions. From personal experience, start with comm places like dw, or say thanks when someone compliments you on your fanart. Little things like that can start conversations and maybe you can finds things you have in common with other people.

[anonymouslyyours]

Tumblr is the worst for that kind of thing. Come be my friend! :D We can talk about our efforts to delurk.

I'm also trying to start posting fanart... that's not going so well for me.

[rbhudson]

You can talk to me :D okay, that was lame, but I don't judge. Unless you have poor grammar lol

[(Anonymous)]

For the most part of my life I've had trouble making any sort of friends myself, and a couple months ago this secret could have been done by me. I recently joined Tumblr, and suddenly, I've met a bunch of really cool people almost without knowing; seriously, I haven't been this happy in more than a decade! So, I thought I'd share some tips that's been really useful to me, maybe they could help you too:
-starting Tumblr is hard. At first no one notice you, but that is because no one know you yet, so you have to make yourself visible on the fandom. Like posts made by other fans, reblog a lot of what's happening in your fandom, and add your own commentary to texts posts. Track your fandom's tag a lot, and get to know who are the people you'd like to be friends with, and the sort of things they post about.
-Probably by this point someone will start following you. Thank them for the follow via an ask or a private message. If possible, check their blog and compliment them for something you'd liked about their opinions/interests or things you had in common. This first step is really important, because you're establishing the foundations of what could become a nice relationship. Important: don't lie, be honest about it!
-Gradually, start following other people. Some of them will thank you, and you can use this oportunity as well to start a conversation. If not, you can send them a message telling them how much you like their fics/art/opinions whatever that had made you follow them in the first place.
-When writing your own opinions, be corteous and civilized about it. Don't write "I think those who like Y are a bunch of idiots", but "Y is not my cup of tea, I'm a X fan, but I don't mind people who like Y". Chances are someone you know likes Y, and over time people who doesn't share your interests will follow you anyway, so you don't want to offend them. If you really hate Y, consider blocking that tag with Tumblr Savior so you don't have to see it on your dash. Follow people who shares your particular tastes.
-Try to stay out of wank. If wank happens, ignore it.
-Answer other people's questions, comment on fics, comment on fanart (never forget sourcing it when reblogging), participate! Slowly, you'll create a nice comfy network of online friends. :)
Hope this helps!

[(Anonymous)]

Hello, fellow lurker! I don't have any advise for you, for I have been lurking for a little over ten years myself. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. <3

[(Anonymous)]

This would be my advice for LJ not Tumbler but it worked for me.

Pick one fandom to focus on. It should one you really enjoy and that will be around for a couple of years. You don't want something that will peter out in six months because the show's canceled or the movie momentum flagged.

Then start commenting on fanworks. It's a neutral topic that focuses on something other than you (the fanwork) and every artist loves compliments. I focused on fic but if you do art, then that's what you should focus on. "I really enjoyed this, particularly the bit where you blah blah" or "This is amazing, especially the effect you got here blah blah". Be friendly and honest, not smarmy or over-flattering. You want to add something to the comment that says you noticed something interesting and done well. Most of the time the response you'll get is "Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it." But maybe 10%? you'll get a longer response where the person clearly wants to talk about their work. Respond to that! "Wow, that's really interesting. You really managed to get the effect and their faces tell the story! Tell me more. Blah blah." Half the time they'll respond to that and you've got a conversation going. Keep an eye on that person and remember to comment again. They will have a pleasant memory associated with you. Oh, and most of the people responding will not be BNFs, who get so many comments they don't have room for more friends. Focus on SNFs and new people who aren't overloaded.

The more you comment, the more familiar your name will become. People will vaguely remember they've seen you around and be more open to conversation when you comment. The reason I recommend staying in one fandom at first is because you'll be commenting and talking to the same people. I'm multifandom but I have a home fandom with people I talk to who know me. Also, as people spread out into new fandoms you may run across them again. Then you comment with: "Hey, I remember you from 'old fandom'. Great to see you here. Isn't this fandom intriguing?"

Good luck. I know delurking is hard. Don't focus on it so hard that you forget to have fun!