case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-04-16 06:41 pm

[ SECRET POST #2296 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2296 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 056 secrets from Secret Submission Post #328.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(Anonymous) 2013-04-17 12:34 am (UTC)(link)
Okay. So I'm not quite 30 but this could pretty much describe me. And it's freaking depressing. Trust me. I want to get out and get a job and do stuff but because I don't have a job I can't really go out and "meet" people. Plus, where do you meet people anyway? At bars? I don't really dig drinking. And around here there's only malls and movie theaters. As for jobs I've applied countless places and they either want experience or a higher degree…hence the additional school work. So while I understand what you're saying (because I have a friend like this also) I also understand what could be going on in your friend's life. Have you tried talking to him/her about it? Maybe offer to look over the cv or edit some of the paper if you have time? This way you can prompt them to actually get out of their rut without outright saying they're in one. :/
nyxelestia: Rose Icon (Default)

[personal profile] nyxelestia 2013-04-17 01:59 am (UTC)(link)
From the looks of it, though, you are actually trying to fix your life situation. I got the impression from OP's secret that their friend isn't even trying, just whining about how much their life sucks but not really doing anything about it.

I have this problem with my mother in some respects. She does look for jobs and the fact that she can't find one, I don't begrudge her much (she is in a dying field for her area). But a lot of her other problems are pretty much her fault. She backs away from social events and then whines about being lonely. She used to spend extravagantly and was mindless about her money, and now is in dire financial straits, and even once she was in that financial rut, it took her far, FAR longer than necessary to start using certain resources for people like her. (Though even with the jobs thing, considering I told her this would happen so long ago, sometimes it is hard for me to sympathize with her even then - I told her long ago that if she chose her current path, she'd be "following her heart" but unlikely to get a job; the other path open to her would not be "following her heart" but would almost guarantee a job for her, because of the growth in the field. She didn't listen to me because I was 13, and instead listened to her old and almost senile mother, who lived on the other side of the planet and who got married as a young teen and who almost never worked a day in her life, and had no idea what the American job market was like.)

I love her and I'm not giving up on her, but I am starting to put distance between us because she has become WAY too dependent on me, and if I let this go on we'll both get dragged down by HER life choices. This isn't nearly the same situation as the OP, but I can definitely empathize and I can definitely see where they are coming from. Maybe the friend has depression, maybe not, but either way they need to take responsibility for the shit in their own lives, and if the first step is to do something about the depression then so be it.

(Anonymous) 2013-04-17 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
Hey, just throwing this out there, but you should try Meetup.com. I didn't know how to meet people either but it helped me find a lot of people with the same interests even though I don't have a job right now.

(Anonymous) 2013-04-17 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Not everybody on the internet lives in US