[ SECRET POST #2298 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2298 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 021 secrets from Secret Submission Post #328.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[harp]

I hate that this is what people are citing as how they got "into" BDSM

This times one thousand. And let's not even get into the irritating "Oooh, I'm so edgy~ you got a problem?" attitude of some of these one book experts.

From the 50SoG Confessions Tumblr:
"I wish everyone would quit wincing every time Fifty Shades is mentioned. Yes, I believe everyone gets that the book explores things outside of our everyday-sexual-box… but could we please grow up? Stop trying to defend that you are some innocent prude. I bet you dream about Grey’s kinky fuckery all the time."

I... someone wanna tackle that? I simply cannot.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, someone tells me I'm not "edgy" because I hate 50 Shades and I'm linking them to fic I've actually written. (Two words; Chelsea grin.)

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

I may not be eloquent about it but...

I wince at 50 Shades because I know it shows an unhealthy relationship. If I wanted to get into a BDSM relationship, I would be praying like all fragging hell my partner is not a fucked up over-possessive stalker douchebag like Grey. I'd want someone who really understands "Safe, Sane, and Consentual".

(Note: I am mid-thirties virgin with no real interest in changing that status, let alone actually getting into BDSM. All my reliable BDSM knowledge comes from fics written by people who have practised BDSM. I trust their judgement on such things a long way before I'd trust a 50 Shades fan.)

[harp]

I'd want someone who really understands "Safe, Sane, and Consentual".

No kidding! Being a dominant is so much more than just beating and screwing (from what I understand; I know a lot of people in the scene). There's so much psychology involved and so much mood reading. From my outsider perspective, I would think that the dominant party would have to have the most control over themselves. You know, to not punish in anger, to remember limits, to be able to stop no matter how much fun they were having.

I much prefer Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty BDSM series (which I got at 17) for a million reasons, but one of the top things it has over 50Shade is that the Sleeping Beauty series is not the kind of screwed up that can be imitated. Even the most mind-numbingly dense 50SoG fan wouldn't be able to hurt themselves with Rice's book because the fairytale setting plus the medieval motif plus the slave system set up makes it clear that this is a fairytale kingdom where this is how things work out, so unless they want to build a time machine or go find a real life prince, this book won't directly cause bad BDSM relationships the way SoG could/will. It's pure fantasy and it doesn't hesitate to remind.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

I read those books in my mid-twenties, and yeah, from what I know, they're a lot better show of BDSM.

My favourite BDSM story was a LotR fanfic, where it shows the same basic type of BDSM that went round Fandom at the time, then revealed that the relationship was totally fucked up and showed how the couple slowly recovered and built something that worked.