Case (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
case) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomsecrets2013-04-28 03:16 pm
case) wrote in fandomsecrets2013-04-28 03:16 pm
[ SECRET POST #2308 ]
⌈ Secret Post #2308 ⌋
Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.
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Notes:
Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 085 secrets from Secret Submission Post #330.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
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Unless they're bleeding, in which case ARGH OH THE AGONY GIVE ME A PENIS ALREADY JUST STOP THIS RED SEA.
But vaginas are more resistant to being kicked. I mean, being kicked in the cunt hurts like a motherfucker, but that's just because it's on bone, you know? It's easier to not double over and talk in a squeaky voice for half an hour. Plus, the vagina is better engineered. Whose smart idea was it to make the urethra the exit for two different systems in the penis? That's just silly. Also, the vulva is less obviously veiny than the penis, which is a good thing. And you can break a penis. You can't break a vulva. (You can break the pelvis, but that's beside the point)
Also, speaking from experience, vaginal secretions taste and smell better than those from penises, and there's more you can do to a vagina than a penis. Vaginas also fit better into trousers, and it's almost impossible to catch your vagina in your fly. They're also easier to treat for diseases, which in the penis often have to be treated through the urethra. On the other hand, the vagina is more likely to catch diseases - can anyone say yeast infection?
The human penis is bigger than necessary (look at other primates, whose penises are invisible when flaccid; that's a way more aesthetically pleasing and safer way to go), while the human vagina is smaller than it needs to be (resulting in the need to turn a baby mid-birth and the relative danger of pregnancy to human women compared to other animals). Both the penis and the vagina are at way less ergonomically efficient angles than in most animals, but the penis kind of particularly is.
In conclusion, both penises and vaginas have some serious design flaws. On balance, post-menopausal vaginas are probably the best, since the majority of their problems centre around menstruation and child-bearing. Penises and pre-menopausal vaginas draw in second place, though, with vaginas winning for both functionality and aesthetic attraction, but by a narrow margin, while the penis pulls ahead on the strength of its ability to not bleed like a bitch once a month or get yeast infections.
Also, you're an arse.
Don't even get me started on arses...no subject
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(Anonymous) 2013-04-29 03:50 pm (UTC)(link)*SNERK*
/humor of a 13 year old in a 31 year old body