fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2308 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2308 ⌋

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where you're talking to someone, and you get nervous or flustered, and then five minutes after the conversation ends, you immediately think of like twelve different witty and clever things you should have said?

Yeah. Some missionaries walked with me on my way to work today. I tried to dissaude them with, "But I'm an atheist, sorry guys," and they were like, Well, how come, and what I should have said was something like, "I really don't have the time to discussion this, or really the inclination, and I don't want to seem rude but [insert nice way to say, "please go away" here]."

But instead I sort of blurted something out about science or whatever, and promptly forgot everything I've ever learned about scientific reasoning.

Ack.

Ever had moments like this, F!S? What would you say, given a re-do?

Whenever anyone on the street tries to preach to me or offers me a Bible or something, I just politely (but firmly) say "No thank you," and keep walking on past. It helps to walk fast and look busy.

(I'm a Christian, btw, I'm just not fond of getting religious stuff shoved at me.)

Eh, I figure there's no point in me debating them or being rude; just smile and wave!

I...get moments like that almost every day. Every day.

Wait, they walked with you? As in, random missionaries were following you? Or you were walking to work with friends who also happened to be missionaries? If the former, I probably would have told them to go away before I report them to the police for harassment. If the latter, I probably would have said something like "same reason I don't believe in Santa Claus", which is admittedly not the wittiest line, but I have realistic expectations of my brainpower under pressure :P

Haha I have so many moments like this, though... there was one last week with a particularly moronic schoolmate where I was simply so flabberghasted by how dumb what he'd just said was that I literally couldn't think of anything to say at all. Gaaaah.

No, they were going door-to-door and saw me. I live in a really safe neighborhood, and I was in sight of other people's houses the whole time, so I probably didn't think about it as much as I should have. I didn't give them my phone number or anything, though.

ALL THE TIME.

That is my life. I try not to focus too much on those feelings though. Nothing good comes of it.

I once had three women in the street showing me videos on a iPad, about how there's definite proof in the Bible that God is both male and female. It was very interesting. Also, this:

Missionary Guy: Hi, do you have a few minutes?
Me: Only a few. My bus is coming.
MG: Cool. *points at my head phones* What are you listening to?
Me: David Bowie.
MG: Omg, he was in that movie.
Me: He was in a few movies, actually.
MG: He definitely was in that one. *stares blankly into space for at least a minute, Chick Tracts in hand*
Me: Do you remember what it was about?
MG: No. But he was in it. *stares*
Me: My bus.
MG: Yeah sure. *stares*
Me: Bye?
MG: *stares*
Me: Interesting...

Next time...

Missionary: Hi, do you have a few minutes?
Me: Sure. Just... do you know a movie with David Bowie?
Missionary: What? No, I don't think so.
Me: Ah, okay. Sorry to bother you. Bye.
Missionary: No problem. Bye.

David Bowie has a magical effect on missionaries. Seriously. You have to try it.

i like the part where he was the one who approached you, and in the space of like five lines you got him to think you were the one bothering him.

common enough to have a term in several languages

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Staircase_wit

All the time. That's one reason why I love the internet; I can take all the time I want to craft out exactly what I want to say.

I get these moments all the time. But when it comes to pushy missionaries or Jehovah witnesses or whatever, wit goes out the window and I just want them out of my face. I close the door on them, say 'NO' before they can even finish a few syllables, and generally walk away/ignore them if I don't have to say anything. I'm more rude than witty, but I don't care. I'm just really tired of these people in my area (and I'm also atheist...).

hahaha this just happened to me. my brother has these various topics that he likes to milk without adding anything or changing his mind, he just shoves it out there for everyone to enjoy, and one of them is him pestering me about being a Christian???? because he's a newly baptized atheist and he's really into hounding me about what a bad Christian I am because I don't go to church every Sunday, and how I'm at a "buffet" just gathering the ideas I agree with and leaving the rest (no... shit?), and how I'm not REAAAAAALLY Christian am I?

I think I never know what to say at the time because I don't know what the hell he wants from this? I know he wants me to throw up my hands and say "Oh man, you're right, Jesus is like Santa Claus I've grown outta that shit" but... why. Cause he wants me to be like him? To validate him? Does he bother other people about this crap because Jesus. Literally, Jesus.

Maybe because, like people who try to "save" their loved ones from godlessness, he cares about your opinion and doesn't want to see you spend your life doing something that is, in his opinion, a waste of time.

Or maybe he wants you to get mad at him, so he can feel ~oppressed~ and vindicated.

I dunno. Either way, whatever his reasoning, he's sort of being a jerk. Next time he does it, maybe try to get him to explain what he thinks he's trying to accomplish here? That might shut him up.

(Speaking as an atheist here.)

He is a jerk, and that's a pretty good idea. I might just do that. Thanks!

Also thanks for being chill about your beliefs yourself.

...Seriously Bro, NO ONE CARES.

I misinterpreted your first sentence and was thinking for a moment that your brother liked to talk about milk a lot.

That would be a great step in the right direction, but no.

"All the good things about religion like trying to be a good person, not harming anyone and treating other people like you'd want to be treated is stuff I can and will do without the threat of hell or the promise of heaven."

[ SECRET POST #2308 ]

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