fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2323 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2323 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 069 secrets from Secret Submission Post #332.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I RP casually. I'm "friends" with one of the community mods in RL & on LJ. Hoooooooowever, I've been working under a sock puppet for my RP journal so I can avoid this mod and tell her I've been busy when I've really just been doing other things and don't particularly feel like being chatty. While she's lovely, she's just....on all the time. And if I don't answer right away she freaks out and asks if I'm ignoring her. At this point, I am ignoring her. But it's not her, it's me.

Sorry, getting kinda tldr, but I took a break from my rp community, and now I noticed that IPs are turned on. I'm not sure how long they've been on...but oooops! Any way to get around this? Can I just use a proxy or something so she doesn't realize it's me? Has anyone had this problem before? She's the kind of person who would bring this up to me (while probably yelling at how I don't have time for her) by now...and I really wanna update with the comm but I don't wanna if she's gonna know it's me.

Reiterating. She's an awesome person. But sometimes I just need to rp porn without feeling judged/be able to do my own fandom stuff without having to explain why I'd rather be doing that than talking to her about RL.

She is not an awesome person. I'm sorry, but if you are posting here about ways to possibly avoid her, she is not an awesome person.

Probably the first thing you are going to have to do is actually sit her down like a couple of adults and tell her that her behaviour cannot continue. Tell her that while you like her as a friend, you also need to be able to spend time with other friends. Tell her that while you like playing in her game, you also sometimes want to play other things. As long as you are meeting whatever activity requirements your roleplay has (if any at all) that is fine. Write everything down letter format first if you want. It is really important you do this first cause it kinda sounds neither of you is exactly displaying stellar communicative behaviour.

From there on, once you have made your wishes and boundaries clear in a good conversation, if you do not want to chat with her, tell her. you do not have to tell her a reason why you do not want to chat with her. you do not owe her your constant time and attention even if she is your friend. if she throws a fuss, tell her you are temporarily blocking her because she is incapable of respecting your boundaries and do so. Give the situation a time out before unblocking her again.

Because seriously, if you have had a proper conversation about her behaviour and your wishes and she still continues to act like that, she is not an awesome person. Disrespecting other people's wishes is not awesome.

A proxy would work if you just want to keep on with avoiding her. There's a good chance she already knows you're doing it, though, since IP logging is turned on. I think anon above me has the best solution, tbh.

But sometimes I just need to rp porn without feeling judged/be able to do my own fandom stuff without having to explain why I'd rather be doing that than talking to her about RL. You need to tell her this. Fandom is an escape from RL and there's nothing wrong with you wanting to escape into fandom for a while without talking about RL stuff. She needs to respect your boundaries and if she can't/won't, you're best cutting ties. If you want to continue to RP and that's the only (or even the best) comm for it, then maybe creating a new sock while using a proxy is the best way to go about it. But I really think you should confront her before you do something like that.

[ SECRET POST #2323 ]

Clingy Friend (and Mod)

Re: Clingy Friend (and Mod)

Re: Clingy Friend (and Mod)