[ SECRET POST #2328 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2328 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 098 secrets from Secret Submission Post #333.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dreemyweird]

Well, no. I have a lot of situations in which I'd say that someone is ugly without meaning to be a dick. [although perhaps I still am...?] Say, while considering drawing the person in question. Or while discussing their relationship with somebody else. Or, if they're strikingly unattractive and obviously suffer from it, I may be saying something like "oh, it's such a pity, it must be hard for them to live like this".
Sometimes people whom I find very ugly provoke undesirable emotional reactions in me (like "if I look, they'll think that I think that they're ugly, but if I don't, they'll think that I do it because otherwise they'd think that I think that they're ugly"), and I just try to make the situation OK.

Is it... dickish?

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I'd bank on the side of "keep that shit to yourself" if you want to be a decent person. You can think it all you want, but why you need to announce that you find someone ugly is beyond me.

My sister actually recoils around people she finds very ugly. Like, visibly recoils. It's the most heartbreaking thing, and it makes me feel disgusted with her, sorry for them, and ashamed that I'm standing near her. :/

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah, I agree with the anon above me. Keep it to yourself. When we live in a society that equates physical attractiveness with worth, calling someone 'ugly' is actually a pretty awful thing to do - no matter if they're not around to hear or if you think you're only commenting on their superficial appearance. On top of that, it's subjective as well - and I find people who like talking about how attractive other people are often use that as an objective measure of their worth.

From another perspective, if someone I knew started talking about how 'ugly' someone was as a general descriptor, I would think twice about my association with that person, because to me it would imply a certain fixation on outward appearance quite possibly to the point of shallowness. Not that I think you are shallow have read your comments, this is just a glimpse of how others might perceive your use of the word ugly.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, it is dickish. Expressing your pity because someone is so unattractive that their life must therefore be harder because of how they look? There is no way that this opinion is unflattering or not hurtful, even if the person in question is not within hearing range. It's not even neutral, it's just... awful.

And now I feel sad that you thought this was okay.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dreemyweird]

But I don't mean to make an assumption or mock somebody, I usually state the fact? It is so often the case!

I... suspected as much, though. I have problems with understanding moral taboos, all these differences between black and white :( Usually I try to tell people straight away that I'm a bad person so that they wouldn't get hurt and waste their time trying to be friends with me, but then apparently I end up doing awful things anyway. And sometimes I can't bring myself to care, just because the taboos are so illogical and make no sense. Yeah, I know it's not how it works.

I'm sorry I disappointed you.

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[(Anonymous)]

Taboos make no sense? Does keeping insulting comments to yourself really not make any sense to you?

It's none of your business to announce to someone what their appearance is. If someone mentioned that you were really ugly, and then told you "I'm just stating a fact girlfriend, I'm not trying to be mean!" Would you honestly not be hurt? Especially in this society that states your worth is based solely on your appearance?

Re: Ugly. Or something.

[dreemyweird]

No, I wasn't talking about telling someone that they're ugly. This is another thing entirely, and of course NOT doing this makes a lot of sense.

What I had in mind was the OP's situation, where the conversation was not intended for the OP to overhear (granted, they probably didn't try very hard, and this is problematic - but the fact itself? Not sure why).