fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2329 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2329 ⌋

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so I have this... problem, I guess, with crying. I didn't used to be this way, but in recent years I cry a ton. Like it's actually embarrassing and I hate it. And people think I'm doing it for attention, when I swear I'm not, I just can't NOT cry when I get angry or hurt, and then I feel so humiliated when I start tearing up. I try to fight it, but it still keeps happening. I'm fucking 25, I shouldn't be behaving like this.
I just want it to stop.
Does anybody else have this problem? Do you have any suggestions to make it more manageable?

ah crap. posted in the wrong thread -_-

or not? wtf is with my internet O_o

try telling a close friend or two about this problem. that way if you cry and they happen to be around, you'll have some people to back you up if others start rolling their eyes.

otherwise, if this hasn't been happening for your entire life, it's probably a phase that will pass. maybe you could attempt laughing at yourself when you're tearing up? I'm a notorious cryer and I ended up saying things like "Wow, I'm fucking crying again" to myself or aloud and I started to smile about it. my sob frequency has gone down nowadays.

actually, it happened to me a few days ago, and my younger sister mocked me for it. I have never been so angry at somebody in my entire life. I honestly don't know if I can ever trust her again.

Can't help you. This happens to me too and I hate it. If anyone can offer advice I'd greatly appreciate it too.

Deep calming breaths. Think about something else other than the situation that is causing the crying. Sometimes I bite my tongue (not hard, just enough to distract me).

I went through a weird time where this was happening to me and I still will get the odd times when I just start to feel myself coming to tears but over time I've learned to control it. Just takes some time and concentration.

Wow, this is me. Ugh, I've had the accusation that I was doing it for attention but I was legit upset. Luckily, I'm out of high school now and my friends are luckily supportive, so hopefully you have that same kind of support somewhere? My friends always say crying at least shows you care about the situation, if that makes sense.

Anyway, when I want to cry in a frustrating situation, looking up at the light/sky helps me. I kinda just keep blinking even though it's probably obvious I'm fighting back tears.

You're not a bad person for crying! It's an emotional reaction and it's really hard to control.

My advice would be that you should look at what you CAN control in a situation where you might cry. For example, if you are having an argument with someone and getting upset, it might be a good idea to just stop it there and walk away. The same sort of thing when someone is being mean or abusive - try and extract yourself from the situation and get into a secure place where you can sort out your emotions without the pressure of people attacking you for being upset.

As for more in the moment, deep breathing can really help shake off a loss of control. I find that biting my lip or balling my fists helps me keep clarity too, but I'm not sure I would recommend those as techniques!

Finally, if you find yourself really unhappy or crying about pretty much anything... well, I don't know your situation, but maybe it's worth seeking out a therapist? They will definitely be better equipped to help you than the internet.

I hope this helps a bit, sorry if it's all over the place.

You're 25. It happens. It gets better.

I don't cry quite as much as you do, but periodically I do feel the need to weep in private.

Honestly, this is probably indicative of something that is upsetting you and needs to be addressed somehow. I find a little soul searching goes a long way. Try to think about what it is that is making you angry, hurt or humiliated. Think about why you feel that way and what you could do to either prevent it from happening, cheering yourself up, or better yet finding a reasonable solution that will clear up whatever conflict you have.

Recently I cried in public over something very minor and it alarmed me because i've never lost control like that before. I thought long and hard about it and realized I'd allowed myself to get caught up in other people's opinions of me and that I wasn't entirely happy with myself at that moment. I realized that it wasn't worth worrying over and I became more comfortable with my current situation.

If it helps, maybe you should seek out someone you trust that you can talk to about this. I find that helps too. Good luck and don't get discouraged if you can't solve everything in one day.

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