fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2331 ]

[ SECRET POST #2331 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2331 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

[2NE1, AoA (Ace Of Angels), Wonder Girls and Sistar]

__________________________________________________

03.

[Community]

__________________________________________________

04.

[The Rap Critic]

__________________________________________________

05.

[Fire Emblem: Blazing Sword]

__________________________________________________

06.

[Big Bang Theory]

__________________________________________________

07.

[Hannibal]

__________________________________________________

08.

[Resident Evil]

__________________________________________________

09.

[Game of Thrones]

__________________________________________________

10.

[Eurovision]

__________________________________________________

11.

[Rodrigo y Gabriela]

__________________________________________________

12.

[Shingeki no Kyojin]

__________________________________________________

13.

[Hannibal]

__________________________________________________

14.

[Big Bang Theory]

__________________________________________________

15.

[requiem for a dream]

__________________________________________________

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 053 secrets from Secret Submission Post #333.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I have an honest question about social anxiety. Lately, I've been seeing a lot of people online mention they have social anxiety. That term seems to be tossed around more and more these days while saying someone is "shy" is seen less and less.

I understand there's such a thing as Social Anxiety Disorder, but I wonder if the social anxiety everyone is talking about is actually the disorder or another way of saying they're shy.

So, my question is: when people say they have social anxiety, 9 times out of 10, are they saying they have a psychological disorder or a personality trait?

I'm not trying to belittle the seriousness of social anxiety by asking this. I'm genuinely curious as to whether people are talking about the disorder or shyness most of the time.

Trust me, there is a huge difference between just being shy and having social anxiety.

This is an extreme example of social anxiety, but people who are just shy don't have to call a family member or best [only] friend to accompany them to the grocery store because they LITERALLY CANNOT LEAVE THEIR OWN HOUSE TO BUY FOOD OTHERWISE because they have THAT much anxiety about being around other people.

Being shy around people you don't know that well, at a party, these are not abnormal things. That happens to everyone. Not being able to walk into a grocery store because you are so anxious and you feel like literally everyone is looking at you, judging you, etc., that is social anxiety.

9 times out of 10, some shy person took an online quiz that told them they could have symptoms similar to social anxiety disorder, and that they should consult their physician. Rather than doing this, they accepted the diagnosis in their heart and soul, and proceeded to let the internet know.

The remaining 1 time is legit people having notes from their doctor and medicated up to their eyeballs, but no one believes them because of the other 9.

put dis in ur siggy if ur da 1 time

What about the people who are not medicated up to their eyeballs but still manage to cope somehow? Is the qualifications medication or gtfo?

If you can go out among the masses happily without some kind of help (medication or therapy), I question your social anxiety and the origin of your diagnosis.

Yeah and I say fuck you. Some of us can't afford medication or don't have access to it. It's really awesome that you have that luxury but others have to find ways to live our lives around the disorder and cope however possible.

DA

Disagreeing here. Like with any disorder there are degrees of severity. Not everyone needs drugs, not everyone should be on drugs. There are a lot of different ways of coping.

Re: Social Anxiety Question

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-22 00:41 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Social Anxiety Question

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-22 00:47 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Social Anxiety Question

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-23 03:52 (UTC) - Expand

(deleted comment)

Re: Social Anxiety Question

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-22 01:05 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Social Anxiety Question

(Anonymous) - 2013-05-22 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

(reply from suspended user)

remember when it was popular to claim you have asperger's to justify being an asshole?

it's a lot like that, in that it's not really legit professionally-diagnosed SA, just a self-diagnosis to excuse being a shut-in

(reply from suspended user)

DA - I'm tempted to tell you to go for it, because all I've got for the AYRT is a big fat FUCK YOU.

(reply from suspended user)

Re: Social Anxiety Question

insanenoodlyguy - 2013-05-22 03:40 (UTC) - Expand

Not really?

I remember when it was popular to complain about people doing that, but in my entire time on the internet I've seen it happen all of about once or twice.

It's not really something you can know. I generally judge by the way people are talking about it. If you actually have social anxiety disorder I think it's easy to spot when people are just being hyperbolic or over-dramatic. Case by case basis though.

I don't think it's that easy to spot online. For instance, I have social anxiety (yes, diagnosed by my doctor). Irl, I have it severely, eg: I haven't left the house (at all) in over 18 months, and haven't been able to go outside on my own for over a decade, I haven't used a phone for ever longer. I tend to like to keep it to myself (unless I'm anon like here), but sometimes I do have to tell people online if they want to meet up irl, or if they think they've done something wrong because I'm not very chatty with them.

However, plenty of people don't believe me simply because although I am still relatively quiet online, I'm 100 times more chatty than in real life. I have a lot more confidence online. I can at least talk to people online and hold an actual conversation, I can even talk to people I don't know. Irl, I just can't talk to people I don't know, at all. I can barely even talk to family members. It took me weeks just to be able to answer my social worker with more than one word answers.

TL;DR: I don't think it's "easy to spot" when people are being hyperbolic because online personas and real life personas can be vastly different.

No way to know; Personally, I know I have social anxiety (and working with the public doesn't help, even if much of said public is patient and accommodating) because a qualified.

Being wary of people is similar though not quite trying not to look at people when you have to talk to them, hunching up, and getting away quickly.

I doubt you'll ever really know.

I say I have social anxiety but I've never been properly diagnosed myself. Heck, for all I know I could have something else entirely. The reason I personally think I have SA is because while I can definitely speak to people without freaking the fuck out, afterwards I'll go home, pick apart every stupid thing I said, freak the fuck out, beat myself up for it (sometimes literally), and then do my damnest to avoid the person for as long as possible whatever the cost.

*Shrugs*

I think its a mixed bag of people who generally have social anxiety and people who are just saying they do because it sounds better than "I'm really shy." Plus, I'm sure there are a lot of people with other types of anxiety who just say "social anxiety" because its easier than trying to explain what they really have. (Also keep in mind that there have always been people with social anxiety disorder, but back in the day they were 'that strange recluse'.)

I personally judge legitimacy by how they talk about it. Most people who really deal with this kind of thing are pretty self-aware about it and aren't going to be throwing it around as an excuse for why they just can't do anything at all. When its something you deal with every day, you just learn to deal with things after a while.

I have pretty extreme social anxiety issues which affects things like my ability to handle money, use the telephone, post things un-anon, begin conversations, be in large public areas, drive a car, walk around in the open by myself, etc. but there are plenty of other social things I can handle just fine. I actually have a regular job as the owner/manager of a business, but I can't, for example, go out and buy lunch for myself because most of the time I would literally rather saw my hands off with a fork than deal with a cashier. A few years ago I actually didn't leave my house for about a year and a half because the panic attacks had gotten so bad.

I think there's the normal amount of exaggeration and truthfulness. It's becoming more popular both in cases where it's accurate and cases where it isn't.

I'd say I have social anxiety because being certain types of social situations makes me feel anxious and upset and I avoid them as much as possible, sometimes depriving myself of something I want in the process. But I wouldn't say that I have social anxiety /disorder/, first because I'm not diagnosed and second because my anxiety doesn't regularly inhibit my daily life. But it is anxiety I experience and not just shyness, and it does get in the way.

This what I wanted to say, exactly. I wouldn't ever say I actually have SA Disorder but the anxiety I feel in social situations is not because I am shy.

I can be awkward and shy around people. I might even go so far as to say that certain situations make me anxious. But they are things I can deal with relatively easily, and as I've grown older, I've been able to work around my initial misgivings about dealing with people. I'm not constantly worried about what other people might be thinking about me, whether they're judging me or not, or anything like that. Sometimes it happens, but it's not a constant stressor.

My partner, on the other hand, has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Interacting with people, even online, is stressful for him. It takes him a long time to be comfortable around people, and every negative interaction he faces sets him back. Large crowds make him tense up and drain his resources - even interacting with his parents is a stressful experience. He can't hold down a job because answering to a supervisor (to say nothing of customers) scares the everloving shit out of him. He actually cannot function properly out in society; in order to do so, he has to steel himself for it and he can only do it for so long before he needs to be back home to detox.

It is entirely possible that a significant percentage of the people online claiming that they have social anxiety actually do have it and are or would be diagnosed with it (or something similar). It's also entirely possible that many of them are labeling their shyness "social anxiety" in the same manner that people label their anal retentive tendencies "OCD." IMO, it's none of my damn business what people actually have or don't have - I'm not the one getting paid to verify diagnoses. Psychological disorders have varying degrees of severity, and if a person's disorder, self-diagnosed or otherwise, becomes relevant in the course of my interacting with them, I'd need to know their particular boundaries anyway.

That said, I know a lot of people who are just shy often get told to submerge themselves in social interaction to "get used to" it so they can "get over" their shyness. Saying "I'm shy" often results in people trying to "fix" this perceived personality flaw, whereas saying "I have social anxiety" basically states, "This is an intrinsic part of who I am, so please don't attempt to coerce me into altering myself." People see psychological disorders as more permanent than simple personality traits, and while claiming you have social anxiety may result in people telling you to see a psychologist/get medicated for it, the more immediate result is often that they're not getting pulled into a high-stress situation anytime soon. (And in the US, at least, not everybody has the means to see a therapist, so it's convenient to say, "I'm sick, but I can't fix it right now, so please let me deal with this in my own way," in order to get people to leave them the hell alone.)

I have plain old anxiety disorder, I do my best flipping out when I'm alone in the house.

Personally, I only say I have anxiety because I have diagnosable anxiety, and generally assume the same of others - with the general caveat of taking most of what people say on the internet about themselves with not a pinch, but a freakin' shovel of salt.

You know, even before my natural introversion evolved (due to circumstances) into the full-blown taking-meds anxiety that I have today, I always resented the term "shy". There's just such a condescending, pitying attitude that comes with that descriptor made me rage internally as a child whenever I heard it. I wasn't a goddamn skittish horse that needed to be coaxed into doing what was "best" for me with blindfolds and gentling, when I said I wanted to be left alone or I needed to do things my own way, it wasn't some kind of fucking tragedy or flaw. There may be more idiots taking up the anxiety mantle for internet points or what-the-hell-ever, but if it means the temporary death of hearing "oh, s/he's just shyyyyyy", then god bless every one of those poseurs. /rant

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only