[ SECRET POST #2338 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2338 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


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02.
[Saturday Night Live]


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03.
[Homestuck]


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04.
[The Dark Knight trilogy]


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05.
[Star Trek]


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06.
[Daily Show with Jon Stewart & Colbert Report with Stephen Colbert]


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07.
[Neil Gaiman/Amanda Palmer]


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08.
[Late Night Talk Shows]


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09.
[Fruits Basket]


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10.
[Defiance]


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11.
[Phoenix Legend]


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12.
[Kim Possible]


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13.
[Rupert Graves]


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14.
[Hashirama, from Naruto]


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15.
[XXXholic]


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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 047 secrets from Secret Submission Post #334.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

01. http://i40.tinypic.com/9lgxns.jpg

[(Anonymous)]

I'm married with a kid and have a grown up job. I didn't have to give up fandom and loving fannish things. Hell, my 6 year old went to her first comic con this year and had an amazing time! She geeks out about her own stuff and stuff we both like, and I can't wait for her to be a little older so we can read Harry Potter together and I can experience that wonder again. Growing up does not mean you have to be a traditional grown up.

[intrigueing]

Your life never has to become "all real". The great thing about fiction is that a little can go a long way. Even if you don't have as much time as you used to, and therefore can't devour whole books in one sitting or marathon four seasons in a week, a bit of good time budgeting is all you need to set aside a little time every week to let yourself take a dip in your fictional worlds.

Your life being "all real" is not equivalent to being "grown-up", and spending time with fiction is not equivalent to childishness. Loads of adults go their whole lives with a passion for fiction, and they tend to be part of the demographic of adults who never lose their joy and wonder at life. Growing up and having kids and all that just means more priorities and smaller chunks of time.

Also? Reading to your kids is an amaaaaazing thing, or so I've heard from multiple close sources.

this happens to us all

[insanenoodlyguy]

Like the poster above, I found I was able to go to the real world, get a real job, and still do the things I loved here. You'll be fine. Don't worry.

[pink_spiral]

If done right, you will still have time for the things you love be it fandom related or not. Sometimes it will feel like you don't have the time and you will miss it. Kids are great to introduce fandom to and watch as they get into their own.

[(Anonymous)]

Many people can have all these things and still be in fandom, so...

[(Anonymous)]

real life is way more fun than moping in imaginationland.

[kallanda_lee]

You don't HAVE to have kids and settle down, you know. It's optional, despite what other people want you to think.
As for the PhD program - studying for a long time, acquiring new knowledge is an adventure in and of itself. It doesn't mean you have to give up your fantasies, on the contrary, they can be fueled by it. But, again, it's optional.

You are the captain of your own fate, OP. Don't live the life you think you should lead. Lead the life you want to lead.

What kind of PhD program?

[chardmonster]

I'm ABD in history. My very work can involve books, shows, and games if I want it to--they're just old.

One of my colleagues is really into cartoons and anime. As in she'll sing this at you: http://youtu.be/dRaMr2vVx4Q

Someone who left the program (but was doing well) cosplays. She still did it when she was here.

There are a couple people who have a regular Settlers of Catan night. And it isn't as if we don't play video games.

You'll find that most people in academic phD programs are geeks and nerds. Being geeky or nerdy about a chosen subject field is what got us into the program in the first place. This tends to go hand in hand with other forms of geekiness.

As for kids--who said you'll have to stop liking these things? You'll have less time when they're babies, but babies do sleep. Babies don't mind if you read. Babies are okay if there's a television on as long as you aren't using it as a babysitter or having it on always. And eventually kids grow up into people who are interested in books, comics, movies, shows and games!

If your significant other has a problem with your hobbies--and you aren't some kind of odd basement dweller who prioritizes the hobbies over couple time--why are you with them?

You know who introduced me to Star Trek and Buffy? My parents. You know who taught me that it was okay to like geeky things like history and b-movies despite other little kids not getting it? My parents!

Responsible adulthood seems pretty nice.

[silverau]

I'm kind of the opposite of you... I'm nowhere near ready for that kind of thing, nor am I in a relationship, but I daydream about someday marrying a nerdy boy and introducing our kids to nerdy stuff.

Anyway, other people have basically said what I would've said, so good luck.

[quantumreality]

If it helps, OP? I'm in a PhD program and I find I have to balance my time carefully among research and fandom. But it's fun all around, so I don't regret having to hone my time management skills. :)

it's all about time management

[(Anonymous)]

really, learn that, and you'll be okay

[(Anonymous)]

People who are not fannish still have hobbies and passtimes. I don't see how life is less "real" because your interests involve scifi/fantasy, gaming, animation, etc. So what if those "real" people are collapsing on the sofa in front of a reality show instead of Teen Wolf or whatever. What difference does it make?

If someone gives you grief about still being fannish while pursuing all of your grown-up goals, just ask "And what do you do in your spare time that's so interesting and special?" Chances are, it's nothing any more worthwhile or "real" than what you're doing.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm adding my voice to the chorus. Granted I "only" have a Masters, not a PhD, but I did that and have a "real" job (that takes up a lot of time) and a relationship and all of that and I still have time for online friends/fandom. It's all about managing the time that you have. :)

[writerserenyty]

While you might have to prioritize things and take a break here and there, you don't have to give up fandom to do this! One of my fandom friends is a mother of two and is a really good mom to her two girls. But she brings in fannish things here or there and still is able to participate in fandom.

My dad's geeky as hell raised me on sci-fi, taking me as a little kid to the Star Wars rereleases and downloading the episode 1 trailer off our super slow internet (yeah and we know how that turned out...). Being a geeky adult/parent is super possible.

Scheduling and mobile methods are your friends!

[nyxelestia]

I'll admit I'm not anywhere near your level of time-eating commitments yet, but I do still find myself quite busy at times and wondering when the hell I'll have time for fandom.

Honestly, it's a lot of time management, as in being able to actually set aside some time at some point in the day to do fan-things...even if it's just picking something else you're going to be doing and deciding that's a good multi-tasking obligation (i.e. if you have to go to a class where you already know much of the material, or where it's very easy to learn while doing something else, or otherwise good for multi-tasking, that's a pretty good time to either read or write fic).

The other thing is mobile methods. Mostly this means mobile devices, like smart phones, laptops, loading fics onto a Kindle, etc. But this can also be things like printing out fic or taking a notebook around to write in. (I always carry a notebook around to write in, anything from random ideas to entire fics, all by hand - my cursive has become almost famous among my friends and classmates as a result of this).

Mostly, OP, you're probably going to go from having periods of time to fully invest yourself into fandom, to having to split it up into tiny slots of time throughout your day/week and having to multitask a lot. And, in all honesty, you are probably going to have to cut down. But there are plenty of people around fandom who have the kind of commitments you're talking about and still have time to do fandom. You'll be fine, OP! :D

[(Anonymous)]

They fit in OP, sometimes you have to juggle them, sometimes they fit in less (me for the past few months, I miss my boooks) and sometimes they fit in more. The prevalence and opportunities will change as your life changes. Sometimes you'll be so busy you won't notice and other times you will be eagerly looking forward to the date when you're less busy and able to enjoy your hobbies.

Also never underestimate public transport if it's an option. As far as I'm concerned, public transport is phone off, headphones on, READ MY BOOK time.
Except the past few months where it's been do-extra-work time. Only two more weeks...

But real life also has time for our fantasy worlds, don't worry. They won't disappear completely...and if you like children and young adult movies like me, a younger one is a great excuse to go once they're old enough! (I blatantly borrow my siblings and cousins for this)

[(Anonymous)]

All of this. I have two kids that I have raised to be geeks like me. They even cosplay at cons with me. Having kids does not mean you have to give up the fan life. And if you find the right partner, neither does getting married.

[(Anonymous)]

You don't have to. My cousin works full-time, has a one-year-old daughter and a wife that he takes good care of, and still makes time to play a good amount of video games and watch a few movies and TV shows (but mostly video games).

But you know what? That's because he really likes games. He could be spending his free time doing other things, but he chooses video games because he's very passionate about them. Unless you're a workaholic and/or have financial problems and need to work a lot, you'll have the time for things you truly enjoy even as a responsible adult...but you have to really like those things. People with normal lives who say that they don't have time for certain things don't usually mean that; what they really mean is that they don't care about those things to MAKE time for them.

[silverr]

The only real change is that .. you have to prioritize.

Can you still do the stuff you did in college?
Of course! You just can't do as much of it.

Learn to keep only the top few tings you REALLY enjoy, and toss aside the things you're "meh" about.

[(Anonymous)]

No kids myself, but my mom recently told me about how she actually got into so many more fantasy books as a parent than she did before then, because she was reading them to me and my brother.

[ariakas]

NGL, the first year of any graduate program (do you have you Masters already, or are you going straight for your PhD?) is often hell on earth, and intentionally so. I barely had time to pick up a controller for an entire year, and I usually game for a few hours every day.

...But then comes the research phase and the writing phase, when you'll have more free time to procrastinate than you ever thought humanly possible.

A whole month of my thesis work was basically playing Dark Souls. A. Month.

[(Anonymous)]

Sorry to be the negative voice here, but... it has absolutely been a problem for me. Full-time work + commute + household have put a serious dent into my fannish time, and I hate it. I'm almost glad I'm not in a relationship, and truly glad kids will never be an issue for me, because I simply wouldn't know how to find the time. It's depressing to have so little happy time.

op

[(Anonymous)]

Thanks for all the encouraging responses and the time management tips!

Now maybe I should make a secret about what I should do if my hypothetical kids don't like the same books as me ;)

[cbrachyrhynchos]

Fandom is even better when your monthly book budget doesn't depend on seeing what the nice guy at the used bookstore will take in trade.