[ SECRET POST #2359 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2359 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 066 secrets from Secret Submission Post #336.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

I like one of the guys at work very much. He has a very fine figure, loves learning languages and listening to rock bands. He's also a funny guy and we hit off well together. We tease each other about our driving and our lack of free time. He often leaves his phone with me so I can listen to his music. I bring him foods that he's never had before. Yesterday, he pushed me around in an office chair even though it was entirely inappropriate...

He's also married with a daughter in kindergarten and he just left on vacation with her. I've thought about kissing him more than a few times and even though I know we are probably not compatible together because he drinks but I don't and we'd spend our free time doing different things, I can't help wanting to bang him six ways into tomorrow.

Why do all the guys I like not appropriate to date? Why God why do you keep dangling guys like him in front of me?

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Look, I know this is none of my business, but please don't be a home wrecker. If you feel this tempted by him that you need to write about it on FandomSecrets, then you should probably be limiting the amount of time you spend with him. Just my two cents.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Oh please. No single person can be a 'homewrecker'.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

nayrt. I agree that a single person can't be a homewrecker, but I also strongly believe that you shouldn't be pursuing a relationship with someone who's already "taken"

Re: I am going to hell

[insanenoodlyguy]

Ummm... so far there's nothing that indicates he considers her more then a friend. Office chair pushing does not lead to hot and steamy affairs in most cases. You're assuming a lot here.

Re: I am going to hell

[making_excuses]

You live a different life than me Noodles!

Over here in Vikingland office chair pushing is foreplay, first the chair is pushed then clothes come off!

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone.

[chardmonster]

Absolutely nothing. It's natural. It only gets wrong when you step over boundaries, and then it's the action that does it.

But don't do what you're tempted to do. If he'd cheat on his wife for you, he'd cheat on you.

As for not finding someone: OK Cupid. It works.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Infidelity is bad. But you wouldn't be the one committing it.

You can't help who you're attracted to, but even if you're obviously in whatever with him, taking that first step is all on him.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

No it's not. If you know he's in a committed relationship, it's just as much on you as it is on him. If you think infidelity is wrong, it's not morally upright to be party to it anyway on the flimsy grounds that you're not the one doing it.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed. Knowingly participating in hurting someone isn't morally permissible simply because you aren't also breaking a vow. I really don't know where this idea came from.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

I think infidelity is bad because it's betraying the trust of someone who loves you. Unless OP is, like, friends with his wife, it's not her problem or concern.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

NAYRT

It's betraying the trust of someone who loves you, but it's also hurting another person. The "other woman/man" in the cheating relationship isn't betraying anyone, but they are participating in an act that hurts someone, and that's also wrong. You can still hurt someone you don't personally know, and doing so isn't okay.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Wow. I really hope I'm not friends with YOU. Although, with that insular attitude of yours, I doubt it.

Re: I am going to hell

[chardmonster]

If it feels wrong, it probably is wrong. OP didn't say anything about this guy having an unhappy marriage he needs to get away from.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Did you miss a sentence? Obviosly it's not good if I make a move on him and it's not good if he makes a move on me either. But I'm not going to make a move on him because I know we are probably not good together in the long run. I don't know what his thoughts are but I've made it clear that I think married guys who asks people they're not married to to go out on dates with them are absolutely disgusting.

I can make the first move. I am not though. I am doing my best to not make the first move or flirt with him, like leaning close to him or touching him. I am being careful but I'm afraid my feelings are showing and I need to dial back our friendship.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Then do it and quit bitching about it.

Stop giving shit advice, shitty.

[insanenoodlyguy]

Ignore this person entirely. You should feel hella guilty if you participate in any sort of affair. Which, as I said above, doesn't even sound like it's about to happen so much as you are having lusty thoughts you wouldn't' necessarily act on OP. I'm just reiterating this so you don't start trending towards stupid drama.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Uh... if you're not a troll, I hope you realize that even if you personally are not cheating on anyone when you cheat with someone in a relationship, you're still hurting their S.O. If you were in a committed relationship and your significant other cheated on you with somebody who was otherwise single, would you only feel hurt by your S.O.'s actions, or would you wish that the person your S.O. cheated on you with had put their foot down and refused to hurt someone they didn't know? I hope more people in the world agree with me that hurting someone else is cruel even when you've no idea who they are, and even when they have something you'd like to take away that it would hurt them to lose. Your desire doesn't outweigh their happiness; if you really want a relationship with someone who isn't single, they should either be in an open relationship or become single.

Re: I am going to hell

[dethtoll]

I'm just here to raise an eyebrow at "probably not compatible together because he drinks but I don't" -- what?

Re: I am going to hell

[chardmonster]

I get it. If someone's primary form of entertainment is going out to bars, and you hate bars and want to stay home, it could get annoying quick unless you don't mind being apart a lot.

I'm assuming OP's crush doesn't have an actual drinking problem and they're just talking about social drinking.

Re: I am going to hell

[dethtoll]

I've seen enough moralizing on F!S to automatically read it as more of a "ew he drinks!" high horse attitude, though I know that's not likely here.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah that's kind of ridiculous. I have a friend who has never even had a sip of alcohol, and he still hangs out with us whenever we go out to pubs. He never judge us, we never judge him, we all have fun together because the alcohol doesn't dictate the fun any more than his soberness dictates his.

Going to a bar and not drinking alcohol is easy. It's still a nice atmosphere. Unless the married guy gets blackout drunk every night, and is an obnoxious drunk or something, I honestly don't see how there's an incompatibility there.

But there is incompatibility in the fact that he's married, lol.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

You're not compatible with him because he's married. Seriously, limit your time with him if you feel this strongly about him.

It's possible HE doesn't know your feelings and is just being friendly and he might not appreciate you making moves on him. It's also possible that he would appreciate it, and in that case he's not a great person and he'll probably cheat on YOU too (imagine that he's thinking how cool it is that he tricked you into thinking he's a cool guy, so he can be married and have someone on the side - do you really want to be that person?).

Don't kiss him. Limit your time together.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

He sounds adorable, OP, but do yourself a favor and dial it back a back. Not for him and his marriage, but for yourself. Being caught up in this guy will only lead to more frustration, and it very likely distracts you from finding someone who is cute, funny and awesome AND single.

Re: I am going to hell

[(Anonymous)]

Exactly, I feel like a kid having fun when he's there. He's away for two weeks so I should have enough time to stop thinking about hitting on him... hopefully! I will do my best to dial it back when he's back. :)