[ SECRET POST #2364 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2364 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 04 pages, 098 secrets from Secret Submission Post #337.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I dislike both.

And maybe you should ask your lesbian friends if they think there's truth in "all bis do it for attention" because sadly it's a trend nowadays to casually hate on bis when you're gay.

I know I'm bi, but have been only with girls so far and my lesbian 'friends' will often mock me and say things like "you're just identifying as bi because society tells you to when in reality you're 100% gay. We hope you'll one day see the light"

[(Anonymous)]

One of the reasons I've never felt like a part of the LGBT community because I too often hear both gay men and women accusing bisexuals of really being gay (and in the case of some women, straight.)

Like it's not your business and it doesn't matter who I'm dating at the time I'm still attracted to both sexes.

[liveoddly]

Yes, this. All of this. (I'm bi/pan and have had two meaningful relationships, one with a girl and one with a guy. With the guy, I'm accused of being a special snowflake, told I'm straight, and told I only dated the girl for attention. With the girl, I was accused of being a special snowflake and a "fake lesbian" (despite never saying I was a lesbian), told I must be gay in the same breath, and... told I only dated the girl for attention)

I disliked I Kissed A Girl more for the video than the song, but I found both pretty loathsome. At the same time, the parody just feels kind of mean-spirited, and as I said in an F!S post a while back, I'm generally against any accusation that people are doing things "just for attention". Even if they are, it's not healthy for their fans (who may be lesbian/bi/whatever applies) to be told that if they come out they'll be called fakers.

/$0:02

[greenvelvetcake]

Dang, people love to get up in other people's business about who they date.

[liveoddly]

Tell me about it. I had one friend in particular (using the term "friend" very loosely - at the time, I was a year behind in school, ill and absent most of the time to the point where several people didn't realise I still went there, and also just my usual aspie self, so I needed all the friends I could get even if they sucked) who not only spent about 50% of our talks making some variation on the "har-de-har pansexual sounds like you're attracted to pans" joke, but also accused me of being "a fake bisexual just like [mutual friend of ours]... she says she's bisexual but she's only hit on girls." He then turned around on both of us when we later started dating boys and said we'd lied to him about being lesbians. Mind you, he was also the type to go if-you're-bisexual-you-should-let-me-hit-on-you, sooo...

(my sister dated that guy for a while. shaaaaaame)

[(Anonymous)]

ugh, this is why i'm too afraid to even consider "coming out", because i don't want to have to deal with possibly losing friends & family, homophobia on the one hand, and biphobia on the other. who am i going to have left who's on my side?

NOPE cannot deal with that no thank you.

[liveoddly]

I know this might not be the best thing to say (or the best person to hear it from), and I don't know your situation or the people around you, but honestly, my friends and family have mostly been amazing. Admittedly I didn't so much come out of the closet as slowly come to the realisation that the closet was a lie (read: I was never exactly closeted, I just didn't develop much of a sexuality until my late teens and my thoughts when I first kissed a girl were "Huh. Okay.") but... just a reminder that, while the world sucks in a lot of ways, there are people who will be supportive and good to you.

Again, I don't know your experience or your family/friends, but given how much emphasis is (rightly) put on the dangers of coming out, it felt like I should offer the other side of it. The only family member of mine who really treated me differently was my granny, who was batshit insane anyway, and now that I'm out of school read, have no social life, I come into contact with way more supportive, friendly people than I do homophobes, biphobes, and bullies.

This was probably entirely unwarranted and unwanted. I'll be in the corner.

[(Anonymous)]

I don't think this was unwarranted at all. It's always helpful to share experiences.

[light_shade]

Ditto that, anon. I've come out to most of my friends and some people at work, but not to my family, because my family is full of nuts. My father once said, "All lesbians are d*kes" and another time flat-out said, "Yes. I'm a homophobe." One of my sisters said, "I could never look at any of my friends who said they were gay the same way ever again." My other sister was even worse, brushing off my coming-out as a drunken confession.

So, nope, not gonna open up about being bi for a VERY long time. I have a feeling I'm going to be in the closet until the day my parents die. Which, given the longevity on both sides of the family, means I'll be about 65 when that happens.

[(Anonymous)]

NA

That sucks :( I'm in a similar situation with my family. I'm 37 and still haven't come out to my family.

[(Anonymous)]

sadly it's a trend nowadays to casually hate on bis when you're gay.

Nothing new about it. I endured plenty of bi intolerance from my lesbian community in the 1980s.