[ SECRET POST #2373 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2373 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 052 secrets from Secret Submission Post #339.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Chick Tracts

[(Anonymous)]

I found out recently that my friend managed to spend twenty joyless years entirely unaware of the existence of Chick Tracts, so I've had the unmitigated pleasure of introducing them to her. Does anyone else here read them for fun? Have any favorites? I'm quite fond of "Dark Dungeons," "Fairy Tales," and "First Bite," and of course it's always a fun time with L'il Susy.

Re: Chick Tracts

[(Anonymous)]

I have no idea what you're talking about but it (they?) sound interesting. Link, please?

+1

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, please do link.

Re: Chick Tracts

[(Anonymous)]

Chick tracts are short, terrible evangelical Christian comics made by a guy named Jack Chick. They're mostly propaganda his incredibly strict and kind of batshit Christian views, often told in a way that's somewhat absurd and humorous as well as simplistic and dumb and pretty bigoted. They're designed so that you can print them out, staple them together, and leave them places for unwitting people to find them & hopefully convert to Protestant Christianity. The most famous one is the one he did fulminating against Dungeons and Dragons but they're all kind of funny. Don't have a link on hand sorry.

Re: Chick Tracts

[(Anonymous)]

I found a wiki article but I'm not sure if they're online.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick_tract

You didn't look hard, most of them are

[insanenoodlyguy]

At the guys website no less!

http://www.chick.com/catalog/tractlist.asp

Not lisa though. Ohhhhh no. Even they realized what they'd created.

THANKFULLY I POSTED THE WHOLE THING JUST BELOW THIS.

Re: Chick Tracts

[lex_antonia]

This is gold.

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1047/1047_01.asp

:D Heerreeeee you go!

[insanenoodlyguy]

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa1.jpg
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa2.jpg
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa3.jpg
http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a7/Ockham/lisa4.jpg






And relevant to today's dnd secret

Re: :D Heerreeeee you go!

[deadtree]

what

the

FUCK

is that Lisa comic.

What the actual fuck.
I hope that, every day since this fuckwad thought this up, someone walked up to him and kicked him in the balls. Jesus Christ.

Re: :D Heerreeeee you go!

[childings.livejournal.com]

"Lisa" is one of the legendary out of print ones that isn't even on the website anymore, it's basically been excommunicated from the Chick canon (Chick would just LOVE that I used a Catholic metaphor here)

There's also an anti-gay one that I can't remember the name of that you can't read on chick.com ... I forget what it was called but I want to say "The Gay Blade" and it's super old, like from the late 70s/early 80s, anyhow I love it because there is a gay bar in the background of one panel that simply says "GAY BAR"

Re: :D Heerreeeee you go!

[tabaqui]

WOW. He sexually molests his daughter and suddenly it's ALL ABOUT HIM. Holy fuck. Plus - 'I found Jesus, so please just pretend that rape didn't happen, honey.'

WOW.

Re: :D Heerreeeee you go!

[(Anonymous)]

"Lisa" was the only one I could never laugh at in the end.

Re: :D Heerreeeee you go!

[cassandraoftroy]

Woooooow. I'd never seen the "Lisa" one. I'm going to choose to interpret it as a story about a REALLY SHITTY DOCTOR who preaches at his patients rather than reporting the sexual abuse of a child to the proper authorities (are medical professionals mandated reporters, the way educators are?).

And *sigh* the D&D one. Oh, Elfstar. 9_9

Re: Chick Tracts

[(Anonymous)]

US and print only, it looks like. Damn me for always forgetting that this is an AMERICAN community and the rest of us are just tolerated simply because case hasn't banned us.

Re: Chick Tracts

[(Anonymous)]

lol tell me more

As you say it, you are so damned.

[insanenoodlyguy]

That's because Chick tracts were made in, by and for America you hellbound heathen. Go worship your moon good or eat your death cookie or kneel before your alter of sodomy, you craven destitute.

Re: Chick Tracts

[greenvelvetcake]

Ahaha every now and then, I'll hop over to his website for a chuckle.

Re: Chick Tracts

[starphotographs]

Oh my gosh, I loooooove Chick Tracts! I kind of collect them. They're hilarious, and I've thought so ever since was little and found a copy of "The Long Trip" in the gutter when I was on a bike ride with my dad.

I still get excited when I find one that someone stuck in a random place, and I always snap that sucker up right away. (And hey, it's a public service! If a snickering atheist picks it up, it can't fall in to the hands of someone more impressionable. :P)

Re: Chick Tracts

[(Anonymous)]

Jealous! It's been years since I found any hard copies just lying around and I lost my humble collection during a move.

Re: Chick Tracts

[lex_antonia]

God, First Bite is so good. I totally ship 'Faith' with Edward Cullen.

Re: Chick Tracts

[othellia]

"There Go the Dinosaurs"

http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/1038/1038_01.asp

Re: Chick Tracts

[childings.livejournal.com]

I used to collect those and I have an original copy of "Dark Dungeons" from the early 80s that my old DM found at a convention and thoughtfully gave to me. Some of my favorites are missing from my collection now though, like "That Crazy Guy!" and "The Last Generation" -- I think my sister stole them or something... ugh

I actually bought a sampler from Chick Publications in the early 2000s which had all of their tracts currently in print included, and they used to send me each new tract in the mail when it came out which was kinda cool except I had to give them $10 of my money which felt unethical... but hey, free tract subscription basically!

Anyhow I'm a big fan and I love that you can read them all online. Some of my favorites:

Angels? ("We're gonna ROCK! ROCK! ROCK! ROCK WITH THE ROCK!", "Then I'll give you a little wedding present... some AIDS!")
Soul Story (probably the best one ever)
That Crazy Guy ("DO IT IN THE DIRT!")
Baby Talk ("No flat tire is gonna stop us from getting that abortion today!")
The Last Generation ("If I turn in a sicko, do I get a reward?)

Re: Chick Tracts

[childings.livejournal.com]

Oh shit I forgot BAD BOB which has the best ending ever (besides SOUL STORY which I won't ruin for anyone)

Basically Bad Bob is this drug dealer that eventually dies and goes to Hell or whatever and the last panel is just a bunch of people standing around saying "hey did you hear Bad Bob died?" "Huh, guess we'll just have to find a new dealer."

Re: Chick Tracts

[ginainthekingsroad]

Chick tracts are HILARIOUS. I've read a ton of them online, but I've only ever seen one in person- my sister found it at a bus stop on our university campus. I'm pretty sure it was this one- It's Your Life but a version with a white guy. As far as Chick tracts go, it's actually stick-to-the-book stuff, no hilarity about other religions or fantasy literature.

Re: Chick Tracts

[fingalsanteater]

Yes. I found some of my hard copies from the '70's and '80's when I went home a few weeks ago, so I'm going to have fun pawing through them when I get a chance.