[ SECRET POST #2377 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2377 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 071 secrets from Secret Submission Post #340.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

My best friend wasn't interested in a getting married or having kids, or even a relationship (I suspect she's asexual, not just because of that, but other reasons as well) but her family kept hassling her about it, so she started dating this guy that liked her even though she constantly told our group of friends that she didn't like him. Within like a month they got married (even after marrying him she still kept telling people she didn't like him) and now she's due to have a baby in a week (even though she still doesn't want kids) and has decided she's never going to work again, just stay home and raise kids, despite her career goals.

She's resigned herself to the fact that this is the life she has to have, even though it's going to make her miserable, because her parents would be devastated if she did anything else (they're really religious and think this is what women are "supposed" to do) and I just feel so bad for her but there's nothing I can do. :(

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

I'm sorry for your friend, and I'm especially sorry for the unsuspecting spouse and kid she's dragged into this family drama. Her parents will be a lot more devastated if ten or so years down the line their daughter's resentment drives her cut off all contact with them so she can live her own damn life, but then nobody ever thinks about those kinds of consequences to their meddling, now, do they.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds a lot like my mother. That's how I got turned off Christianity for life.

It is seriously not too late for her to get herself together. I've met some cool people who married and had a kid while young and then divorced and made a life for themselves later. There's also people who start enjoying being parents once they've got a baby to look after - not all reluctant parents, but it really takes an abnormal, personality-disordered person to reject their own child once it's born. I just hope you or her other friends can stay in touch, provide reality checks and be a support network in place for when she decides she's done with pretending her life away.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

DA

There's also people who start enjoying being parents once they've got a baby to look after - not all reluctant parents, but it really takes an abnormal, personality-disordered person to reject their own child once it's born.

And plenty of people *don't* enjoy being parents, and plenty of people "reject their own child" by giving it up for adoption. I really don't think calling them "abnormal" and "personality-disordered" is fair.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

DA. There's a difference between someone who wanted a child but after it's born and now they have all these responsibilities they reject the child, and someone who never wanted the child in the first place so they put the kid up for adoption. The former is abnormal and should seek psychological treatment (possibly even medication if it's due to postpartum depression).

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

ayrt

But it sounds like this girl never wanted the baby to begin with, she's just keeping it because she feels like she has to, and probably WOULD give it up for adoption if she thought she could.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

A lot of people love the idea of children without fully comprehending that kids, while beautiful and priceless and all that jazz, are also totally helpless, utterly stressful, complicated, and permanent additions to one's life, and a person doesn't have to be abnormal to be shortsighted about that burden until it lands, needy and screaming, into their lives.

Sometimes it's depression, and sometimes some people were never cut out to be parents even at the height of mental health.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, and those people need to seek family counseling for the benefit of the child. It's an unhealthy environment to raise anyone in. I feel sorry for you that you refuse to see that.

Re: Non-fandom secrets

[(Anonymous)]

AYRT

What above anon said - someone who's resolved to put a baby up for adoption because they've decided that's the best option for the baby is not rejecting that baby.