[ SECRET POST #2385 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2385 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 073 secrets from Secret Submission Post #341.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[diet_poison]

thirded...I've had nasty fallings-out before, both platonic and romantic, irl and even if some of those people were jerks, I can't imagine feeling happy if I heard they were miserable. I might be a bit satisfied to learn they were learning hard lessons from some of the bad decisions they were making, but lessons are supposed to lead to better futures, and in the end I won't wish misfortune on anyone.

[silverau]

I feel like in this thread you've been kind of judgmental towards OP and others who said they've done similar things and I don't really think that's fair of you. If you don't have bitter feelings towards those who have hurt you and want to see them hurt, that's great, but for some people it's a coping mechanism. Sorry for getting personal here, but when I finally cut someone out of my life whose emotional abuse really fucked me up mentally, I will admit I laughed my head off at the fact that he spent a like a year after that obsessing over me and beating himself over what happened. For the sake of my own mental health, I COULDN'T feel sorry for him, because sympathizing with him would mean giving him back the emotional power he had over me. I never retaliated against him, I never took advantage of his obsession with me (despite the fact that I easily could've), I never tried to turn anyone against him (beyond warning mutual friends what happened so the same thing wouldn't happen to them), I didn't wish death on him, and eventually I did get over it and move on instead of carrying bitter feelings in my heart forever.. but I did have some laughter at his expense. It's like a "the best revenge is successfully moving on" kind of thing.

Anyway, again sorry for getting personal, but I just wanted to point out what it feels like to be in that position.

[(Anonymous)]

I hear you, except it was my emotionally manipulative mother. When I heard my dad left her, I worried about my dad, but in her case? I just fucking laaaaaughed. Both of her kids moved across the fucking country (in my case, partly to get the hell away from her), and her husband left her. She fucking deserved it because her behavior did nothing but tear down and alienate everybody around her - it's really satisfying to know that it all finally came crashing down on her head.

On the flip side, I don't internet-stalk her (even though I think she has a facebook and I probably could) or any of the two-faced "friends" that screwed me over. I'm quite happy assuming they're miserable, and I'd hate to be proven otherwise.

[diet_poison]

It's like a "the best revenge is successfully moving on" kind of thing.

I'm not sure I understand how this goes along with everything else you just said.

And expecting you, or anyone else, to specifically pity someone isn't really what I'm talking about. It's more the whole "I'm delighted by the fact that you aren't/will never be happy again, and I'm delighted that you are miserable [despite the fact that I understand what it's like to be miserable]". I really can't relate to that.

I think my own personal beliefs/philosophies are influencing the way I see this very strongly. I'm not trying to stand around here and say "I JUDGE U" but I am sharing my opinion on the experience since it's what OP started talking about. If I started to feel that way about someone who had hurt me, like being really happy that they were miserable, I'd start to feel like I was sinking to their level and turning into someone like them.

It just occurred to me - I think there's a lot of subtlety that's being left out of this conversation. It's hard to describe exactly what a person is feeling/thinking/going through.