case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-07-21 03:32 pm

[ SECRET POST #2392 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2392 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Wow. Really? From the way you're acting, I'm assuming your cousin has never apologized, never felt remorse, never regretted her decision to use meth and ultimately cause her child's death. And just to be clear, she actively decided while sober to kill her baby, right? Meth is highly, HIGHLY addictive, and can cause severe psychosis and hallucinations. Of course she needs to be held accountable for her actions, but to what extent? There is a HUGE difference between someone actively deciding to murder her child in cold blood, and a woman with no reliable conception of reality accidentally poisoning her child.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:39 pm (UTC)(link)
when someone you care about dies due to someone else's careless actions, it really doesn't make much difference to you whether that person did it in cold blood or not. it does legally of course, but at the end of the day all that matters to the family is that she did meth in the same area her child was in and it ended up killing them.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-21 10:47 pm (UTC)(link)
I understand that - I'm angry at my heroin addict cousin who ditched his family (after stealing thousands of dollars from them) and caused his mom such horrible stress and heartache that she divorced my uncle and had a subsequent heart attack. But guess what? I still have sympathy for him. I still understand that he didn't mean for this to happen. He's remorseful, and is pulling himself together. If he was going around whining about how his parents were awful, and his life was so hard, and it wasn't his fault, then yeah, I might be less inclined to forgive that. But I highly doubt this girl who killed her baby showed zero remorse, zero guilt, took zero responsibility. If she did, then you know what, have at her.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:30 am (UTC)(link)
HE DIDN'T KILL A BABY!

That's what's different.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 12:10 am (UTC)(link)
I'm sorry, but I find this a bit presumptuous. Do you really care about your cousin's newborn so much? . Like, to have an actual bond? More so that the mother? Really I have cousins I haven't seen for years. If they'd pop out a kid I'd have like zero feeling towards it, even if I saw it once or twice.

I can understand judging it on principle, but I have trouble believing you had such a close relationship with an infant, that isn't yous.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 01:22 am (UTC)(link)
Go fuck yourself!

Just because you aren't close with your extended family doesn't mean other people aren't really close with theirs.

Also, how close a relationship do you need to have with a baby before you can be pissed as hell at the persons who's grossly negligent actions led to that baby's death?

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:38 am (UTC)(link)
You can be pissed off all you want. But it doesn't make you the end-all, be-all authority on addicts, not does it give you some sort of extra special right to judge just because it happened somewhere in your extended family.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
I'm not saying it does, but who the hell thinks it's okay to go around asking shit like "why do you care if that baby died, it's only your cousin's kid - not like you were close" without know fuck all about that family.
iceyred: By singlestar1990 (Default)

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[personal profile] iceyred 2013-07-22 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
My relationship with my cousin is/was not so good because I made a decision a long time ago not to go the drug route. Since that was what her life revolves around, we really didn't have much to say to one another.

I did go to the baby shower, I did babysit when the kid got shafted to my uncle, and I did hold my mother while she cried after paying for the casket. Druggies spread their misery and toxicity around.

I find it presumptuous that you judge my feelings for a dead baby. Even if this kid was no relation to me at all I would feel mad.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
>Even if this kid was no relation to me at all I would feel mad.

And that's a perfectly valid feeling, but what you've been doing in most of this thread is pretty much saying addicts deserve no sympathy based on your personal experience. In which case, your personal experience becomes relevant, you open yourself up to criticism and yes, the personal experience of your cousin ALSO become relevant.

So let's break this down

- Not every addict is like your cousin
- Your cousin has an illness, whether you wish to acknowledge it or not.
- Becoming an addict is not a "choice"
- Terrible things done accidentally by someone who is not of sound mind are not the same as things done by someone maliciously with premeditation.
- Your hurt is justified, but does not negate the hurt your cousin might be feeling.
- You're free not to sympathize, but that doesn't mean anyone can't, and certainly not that no addict is ever deserving of sympathy.
insanenoodlyguy: (Default)

(frozen comment) 10/10

[personal profile] insanenoodlyguy 2013-07-22 02:07 am (UTC)(link)
You are a good troll. And a horrible person.

(frozen comment) Re: 10/10

(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
I'm actually not the former, but I do not care if you think I'm the latter. Save me the righteous indignation. If the mother was truly an addict, and she did this unknowingly, her life is far more affected than her cousin's.
iceyred: By singlestar1990 (Default)

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[personal profile] iceyred 2013-07-21 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't give a shit how or why she decided to murder her child. This woman is/was upper middle class and had everything going for her before she got on the crazy train to hell. If she had no reliable conception of reality that's because SHE CHOSE to have no reliable conception of reality.

She hasn't apologized for anything. You have sympathy for a worthless piece of crap who killed her baby with meth. Think about that for a minute.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 12:07 am (UTC)(link)
da

that woman who killed her child probably feels more shitty about the situation than you, so yeah, I have sympathy for her. I don't see what's wrong with that. (Do I think what she did was okay, or that she should be forgiven? No.)

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 01:44 am (UTC)(link)
Why should anyone care that the mother feels bad NOW? It's too late now.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
DA - because she did it because of a sickness in her head. And she's the one who will rely have to live with it. Obviously it is too late for the baby. But it's just thoroughly sad this situation came to be in the first place, but for the child as those who survive.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 12:22 am (UTC)(link)
Look, I get that you are understandably grieving and enraged, but you are being incredibly hurtful, insulting, dismissive, and unfairly judgmental towards entire swathes of people suffering from addiction -- the majority of whom will never do anything so horrible and externally harmful as what tragically happened in your family -- based on your anger at one specific individual.
insanenoodlyguy: (Default)

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[personal profile] insanenoodlyguy 2013-07-22 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
No you don't. You really don't get it. You probably mean well, but you don't get it at all.
iceyred: By singlestar1990 (Default)

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[personal profile] iceyred 2013-07-22 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
People suffering from addiction don't suffer in a vacuum. Others suffer with them. They act in ways that facilitate the suffering of others. I honestly have no idea how some of the people in this thread do not understand that.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
If she feels absolutely no remorse or guilt for what she did, fine, I'll give you that she doesn't deserve sympathy. But honestly, I really doubt that. I doubt it hard. Your average addict feels a LOT of things - guilt, remorse, depression, anxiety, loneliness - all combined into a desperate, worthless feeling that keeps them in the cycle of addiction.

You don't have to take my advice, I don't care all that much what you think, we're both anonymous faces on an Internet message board. All I'm saying is that you might think about what got her to the place she is, before you condemn her.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
Anybody who kills their own child is rightfully condemned.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
So someone who accidentally runs over a child should never ever be redeemed, either?

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
nayrt

you did not just compare a meth head who willingly did drugs around her infant child while knowing the risks to a person who accidentally hit a child who darts in front of their car. you didn't.

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(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:27 am (UTC)(link)
If we're going to be dealing in black-and-whites, we might as well go that extra mile.

Fact is we don't even know the exact circumstances of this infant's death. It could have died just from having breast milk that had traces of meth in it, for all we know. And yes, that can happen.

(frozen comment)

(Anonymous) 2013-07-22 03:16 am (UTC)(link)
Wooooooow