fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2395 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2395 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[The Most Popular Girls in School]

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03.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

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04.

[Gerard Way and Frank Iero]

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05.

[Mastumoto Jun]

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06.

[Macdonald Hall]

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07.

[Downton Abbey]

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08.

[Generator Rex]

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09.

[Neil Oliver]

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10.

[Star Trek]

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11.

[Star Trek: TNG]

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12.

[The Vampire Diaries]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 025 secrets from Secret Submission Post #342.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 1 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I had a friend several years back that slowly saw me as something more. I don't think he was being intentional about it, but after awhile I realized that he was being super clingy. Like we shared the same major so he was in almost all of my classes, would get there early, talked to me the second I walked through the door so I didn't have the opportunity to make any new friends, etc. His hand started to brush up against mine every once in awhile as we walked from place to place and it just felt disgusting.

I didn't even realize how bad it'd gotten until the annual local scifi con and I went with my band friends the first day and him the next. The first day was full of tempers and drama since there were about eight of us, and yet at the end of the day I'd had so much fun. The second day everything felt so restricted and just... it felt like he was escorting/guarding me, rather than taking part things for his own enjoyment (and he was a geek so it wasn't like a dragged him), but overall I just felt... watched? I don't know how to fully describe it.

Anyways, I pretty much panicked and the next day or so told him super bluntly that - while I enjoyed his friendship - I'd never see him in that way. I still feel guilty about that; I don't regret the confession, but I could've been a lot softer in my words. Oh and I said I need some temporary space.

After that is when things pretty much rolled downhill.

He didn't come to class the next day. Cornered me in a hallway the day after to clarify what I meant and how long was "temporary". (I apologized for the bad wording then, but didn't back down from my meaning since it was the truth.) The day after that he told me that he hadn't eaten or slept since my original confession. Oh, and he asked me if he could still drop by on my birthday that weekend (WHICH I NEVER INVITED HIM TO IN THE FIRST PLACE). Didn't talk to me for the rest of the week.

Next Monday he asked if I'd accompany him to his car (which was on the edge of campus and about a 20min walk there and a separate 20min back) and got offended when I said 'no'. He then waited almost two hours for me after my final lab of the day to give me a birthday present, a hand-knitted Dalek plushie. I debated on taking it or not since I knew each choice was super loaded with how he'd perceive it and was about to accept it when he asked me, and I quote, "when the fuck are you going to get over this shit?"

I essentially blew up at him, 99% of my guilt flying out the window right then and there. I shoved the Dalek plushie straight back at him and told him he could do whatever he wanted with it as well as a bunch of other stuff I can't remember too well anymore. He didn't come to school at all for the next week and when he did, thank god, he simply ignored me.

All things considered, it could've gone a lot smoother, but it also could've gone a lot lot worse. I think I lucked out as far as bad one-sided experiences go while still being able to carry all the lessons I learned from it.

SA

Oh, and I had another creepy guy my freshman year. I recognized him in class the first week from a shared orientation session and initiated contact. We shared about two or three classes, so I'd hang out with him in the periods before/after.

He was really hard to talk to. I'd ask him what his hobbies were, what movies/shows/books he was into, etc. His response to all of these were "nothing much". And I was always a little put out since it's not much of a conversation when it's only one-sided, but chalked it up to him being shy.

Then came the confession that I was his first female friend. Then came this proofreading I did of one of his English assignments. It was about being an outcast and how he sometimes felt like bashing in the faces of the others around him or something equally as raw and violent; I actually questioned him on that and he said he didn't really feel that way, but the first draft he wrote, the professor told him to put more emotion in it. I nodded but was not 100% convinced.

After a month or so of this, I started to avoid him. He noticed and ended up buying me a tablet and copy of Abode Photoshop that I'd sometimes wistfully looked at in the school tech store. SEVERAL HUNDRED DOLLARS WORTH OF STUFF. He called it an "early Christmas present" (it was the beginning of October), but hell. Not even my closest friends and I of years and years get each other anything more than $10-20.

I had it for one night since he'd wrapped the thing I hadn't been able to tell what it was till I got home, and then I gave it back to him the very next morning. After that we just stopped talking.

...

I'm not very good at these, am I?

damnnnn. that sounds pretty bad to me...and really unhealthy for him...getting mad? not eating/sleeping?? not to mention some SERIOUS emotional manipulation. yuck yuck yuck

I think it was a lot worse back in the thick of it. Over two years have passed since then, and I've really been able to distance myself, look back, and evaluate it from a more objective viewpoint. I still don't think I was completely blameless, but once again that solely stems from the way I confronted him about it and the words I ended up using.

Oh! And if you're interested in some f!s history tie-ins... this secret (http://fandomsecrets.livejournal.com/670818.html?thread=428795234#t428795234) was me. I made it soon after our final confrontation and my emotions were all a mess. After all, I had, in my mind back then, just single-handedly destroyed a year long friendship. When I told him I needed some temporary space, I really had meant it. I thought we'd be able to sort things about and go back to, well, if not normal, then at least something less toxic than what I'd been beginning to feel. And when things ultimately fell apart, I think a part of me wanted me to blame myself for it, but I just couldn't feel guilty, and not feeling guilty is what ultimately made me feel guilty. (Hello, Mary Crawley.)

TBH, I think I only used the Sherlock comparison because I'd just watched the series for the first time and didn't want it to end up as n!f in the fail bar. Also it was the best metaphor I knew at the time, which I can now sum up in a much more accurate and less presumptuous manner; I was his Manic Pixic Dream Girl.

I also phrased the secret a lot differently since I think I ended up mentioned in the comments, he'd taken to lurking on the sites I visited, and I was afraid he'd see and confront me again if I posted a more accurate version of how things went down. (And I'd actually forgotten about that part until I trudged through the archives and found that secret/thread again. It just screams of controlling behavior and skeeviness now, but I must've normalized it back then.)

I don't think you are to blame AT ALL. Maybe you could have handled it better, idk, but it's not your fault he was a creepy douche, and people who are being creeped on may not always know what to do.

I'm not familiar at all with Sherlock so I'll take your word for it...but yikes, am I glad you got out of that...

[ SECRET POST #2395 ]

Re: Any creepy admirers, FS?

Re: Any creepy admirers, FS?

Re: Any creepy admirers, FS?

Re: Any creepy admirers, FS?

Re: Any creepy admirers, FS?