fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2413 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2413 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sometimes I swear I'm in a lame rom-com, but with less romance. I'm kind of shy and socially anxious, so today at work I decided to try talking more. It went like:
Me: Hey *their name*
Them: Hey. Did you need something?
Me: Oh. Nothing. Just saying hey.
Them: ...Hey.
Then my boss who was standing nearby started giggling into his hand because it was just so awkward. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Once in at school I thought I had gotten my period and went to the nurse's office and everything. It turns out I had sat in red paint. Who the hell does that?

Considering your probable age, that's not an unrealistic assumption. Awkward? Maybe. Understandable? Definitely.

I'm still angry. I liked those pants.

Oh, gods, all the time.

I don't talk a lot, but everyone around me seems to talk incessantly. Everything that happens to them becomes a STORY THAT NEEDS TO BE TOLD. I've tried to emulate them, with very limited success.

You know what I think, OP? I think that you're just discerning, and that you only speak when shit really needs saying.

Op. Aw, thanks. The problem is with people who think that quiet means stupid or stuck-up. The best kind of people are the ones that don't mind that I don't talk much and still talk to me without minding that I'm mostly just listening.

I don't talk a lot, but everyone around me seems to talk incessantly. Everything that happens to them becomes a STORY THAT NEEDS TO BE TOLD. I've tried to emulate them, with very limited success.

This is what I've noticed with chatty people too, like everything in their life is a story and I feel like a. I'm not a good storyteller and b. I have trouble getting people interested in things they aren't interested in. I just have a lot of trouble striking up conversations unless we are mutually interested in something.

I can be chatty with the right people but I have so much trouble doing it all the time.

Once, when I worked in an office, my boss and this guy's boss openly tried to hook us up. Needless to say, awkwardness resulted.

Once I hit my pastor's car in a parking lot.

My life is like one of those comedies where the writers think they are making the characters say and do really funny and witty things, but the audience just ends up changing the channel because it's so awful.

Like, one time my fiancé was talking to me on the phone when he was at work and he wanted to tell me how much he wanted wanted to have sex with me, but his co-workers were around. So, he said "I want your girl sausage." And, I was like "What?!" And he was like "You know... your girl sau...sage. I can't say anything else because people are around." I told him, "Wow, my girl sausage. Really inconspicuous. You sound like a pedophile cannibal."

This is a true story of how we are the worst. The end.

...Actually that's fantastic. Mostly for your comeback but yes.

I'm imagining him as working in a kitchen setting and that makes it even worse/funnier.

I would much rather have someone hear me tell my fiancee I want to have sex with them than have them try and figure out what I mean by girl sausage.

mte...

My entire family and I, who are *so* not acclimatized/acculturated to that sort of thing, went to a "haute cuisine" restaurant once, because Matriarch had requested it for her birthday.

It was like Downton Abbey meets Earnest's in-laws. Only funnier. We came out much, much, much poorer than we went in, but had the time of our lives, LOLing at how 1% lives.

That could very easily happen to me. YANA!

[ SECRET POST #2413 ]

my life is like a comedy

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