fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2414 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2414 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Akumu-chan / My Little Nightmare]

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03.

[Star Trek: The Next Generation/Deanna Troi]

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04.

[The Borgias]

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05.

[Kaiba Seto and Jounouchi Katsuya from Yu-gi-oh!]

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06.

[Spring Breakers]

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07.

[Murder Rooms]

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08.

[Twin Peaks]

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09.

[Mass Effect]

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10.

[Despicable Me 2]

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11.

[Ice Age]

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12.

[Arrested Development]

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13.

[Super Junior]

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14.

[Halloween]

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 064 secrets from Secret Submission Post #345.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I've been in a committed triad but...well. What I have to say isn't what you're going to want to hear.

I don't think you're going to get what you want from this. Yes, maybe your boyfriend will get more sex - but chances are this won't 'fix' your relationship - if anything, it could very well make things worse since you're using it as a 'band aid' instead of because you want to do it because well...you want to do it. This is going to complicate things. Even if there were no issues, or tensions, in your relationship, adding more people is going to make things more complicated simply because it means having to juggle more people as a whole, which is something you both need to consider before doing it.

Also...it could be me but it kind of comes across as if you're ignoring what you're boyfriend is saying? He says he's fine with your lower sex drive, but you're insisting he needs more - and that he's not 100% with this idea, but you're pushing ahead and asking for help how to do it? That just...seems off to me - particularly since, from experience, I can say *everyone* involved needs to be on board with opening a relationship up for it to work.

You know, that's something that's interesting to me. What would it take to indicate that I want to do it? Would it mean that I also want to have other partners? There are a lot of good points being made, and much has been brought to light that I hadn't considered, but I don't understand this implication that it's not something I actually want to do. The fact that I don't currently have any desire to sleep with anyone else doesn't mean that I don't truly want my partner to be able to sleep with others.

As for your second point: he's okay with my lower sex drive on an intellectual level, but in practice, he's not. When we haven't had sex for a while, he withdraws emotionally and physically.

...ha. It's a funny thing. As I typed that, I realized the futility of all of this. You're right: it is a band-aid. It's something to cover up a problem that he has.

Well. That's a start, then.

Thank you and to everyone else.

AYRT

Well...you say 'Hey, I'm interested in us being in a poly [or open, which isn't the same thing as other's have pointed out] relationship. What do you think?' The catch here is that poly relationships rely on open and honest communication even more than monogamous ones. If nothing else, you need it because jealousies and insecurities do happen, and you need to be able to talk about that and work it out.

If you didn't want another relationship, you wouldn't 'need' to be in one, or even interested in one. Most triads are actually set up with one person being the 'pivot', and the other two have some form of platonic relationship between them, while being romantically involved with the pivot [at least in my experience].

But...yeah. It seems as if you've got some stuff to sort out before it'd be a good thing to talk over, if you were even that interested in it. Best of luck sorting it out!

Yeah this.

I often have the same problem. I'm all "No I am smart and you are so nice and I know your needs and I am not fulfilling them WARGH I AM HORRIBLE HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IN A WORLD WITH SO MANY BETTER OPTIONS ;____;"

Not projecting is hard but you might be projecting. Don't go projecting some other girl onto your guy's dick just because, okay?

I'm leaving you to become a Beiber Groupie. You see those nude pics? mmmm

[ SECRET POST #2414 ]

Re: Introducing Polyamory into a Previously Monogamous Relationship

Re: Introducing Polyamory into a Previously Monogamous Relationship

Re: Introducing Polyamory into a Previously Monogamous Relationship

Re: Introducing Polyamory into a Previously Monogamous Relationship

Allright you convinced me