case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-08-15 06:38 pm

[ SECRET POST #2417 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2417 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #345.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 1 2 3 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.
chardmonster: (Default)

Oh fuck you

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-08-15 11:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Please stop calling every interest a woman has that isn't 100% whatever-your-concept-of-femme-is "gendrfluid." Hell, please don't call every interest a guy has that isn't 100% whatever you think is macho "genderfluid."

The rest of the world isn't as enamored with tumblr lingo.

It's also fucking misogynist.

Edit: That's imprecise. It's fucking SEXIST. You can like women and still have weird messed up ideas about them. Not that, you know, you're better now.
Edited 2013-08-15 23:48 (UTC)

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-15 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)
+1

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 12:11 am (UTC)(link)
+1,000,000

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you. Some people in my family were cool, but many of them--and my classmates and neighbors--were practically disgusted when I would express any interest that wasn't 100% "feminine." Growing up, I was literally told to "stop trying to be a boy" because I preferred to wear pants instead of skirts and liked action movies instead of romantic comedies. I was even scolded for trying to *befriend* boys, because "that's not what girls do."

I'm not genderfluid. I'm not trans. I'm cis. You can be female and cis and still be interested in traditionally "masculine" things.

I've seen this attitude on Tumblr especially, where people essentially say "either you're a pink-clad Barbie doll who loves shopping and fashion and hates getting her hands dirty, or you're a different gender entirely!" The meme where nerdy girls write down "this is what 'Normal Girls' are like, and this is me! I'm totally weird for not putting on make-up or buying shoes or obsessing over who to take to the dance!" feeds off the same harmful mentality.

Fuck anyone who thinks this way. This bullshit needs to stop. I like comics and explosions and sharks and sports and I hate wearing dresses. And I'm a cis girl.

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
I am sorry your family was wrong and they didn't realize that you could be a girl and like actions movies, sharks, and all the cool stuff. My parents messed up on a lot of things but I do have to give them credit for buying me Barbies and Matchbox cars. There were no girl toys and boy toys in my house. I wasn't limited to play with just girly things. My Dad always said that me being born changed a lot of his ideas on women and feminism for the better and I am so grateful for that.
chardmonster: (Default)

Re: Oh fuck you

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-08-16 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, having a childhood like this was awesome--I had dolls and action figures and got boxing gloves when I was six.

Mom didn't start pushing the girly stuff until I was a teenager, and I thought she was rejecting me, but in retrospect
1. My self esteem was so obviously crushingly horrible that I literally thought I was too ugly to attempt to look decent--that any attempt would just highlight my ugliness. I basically said this out loud. So trying to get me to, you know, maybe try wearing a skirt or a bright color or go to a party wasn't exactly regressive.

2. She was trying to teach me that wrangling the unibrow and wearing lip gloss sometimes improves how people see you. Which enrages tumblr kids but is also (unfortunately) completely true. I'm currently studying the 1940s, where using lipstick to cover up dramatic gender progress was really important. Stuff's basically warpaint.

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 07:13 am (UTC)(link)
EXCUSE ME

>and got boxing gloves when I was six.

SO FUCKING JEALOUS RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE NO IDEA

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 02:54 am (UTC)(link)
or you're a different gender entirely!

Oh my god are you serious? D:

That's... not progressive. That's going back to times when non-girly women were labelled incomplete men.

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 07:06 am (UTC)(link)
Or they are considered "lesser women" because they don't like stereotypically feminine/female things, which is also hugely problematic in itself.

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 03:26 am (UTC)(link)
*thumbs up* I'm the exact same way, so I feel your anger.

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-27 09:30 am (UTC)(link)
I've seen this attitude on Tumblr especially, where people essentially say "either you're a pink-clad Barbie doll who loves shopping and fashion and hates getting her hands dirty, or you're a different gender entirely!" The meme where nerdy girls write down "this is what 'Normal Girls' are like, and this is me! I'm totally weird for not putting on make-up or buying shoes or obsessing over who to take to the dance!" feeds off the same harmful mentalit

Usually I just see feminine tumblr girls mocking "cis girls who don't always like feminine things" by calling them special snowflakes. People on tumblr mock those who actually make those memes, so I rarely see those memes actually used.

Re: Oh fuck you

(Anonymous) 2013-08-16 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
Thank you very much. I am a cis female. I have some interests that in the past were considered masculine. This does not make me anything besides interested in some hobbies that were once considered masculine. My hobbies have nothing to do with my gender identity or who I am sexually attracted to. I find it pretty insulting when people try to pigeonhole me or anyone else like that.
silverr: abstract art of pink and purple swirls on a black background (Default)

Re: Oh fuck you

[personal profile] silverr 2013-08-16 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
+googleplex, chardmonster, because your comment reminds me of one of my all time most cherished anecdotes:

Years ago, a British depth psychologist (aka a Jungian) named Andres Samuels gave a lecture, and he said what was at the time (mid-80s) an amazing thing, which I will paraphrase (and please keep the time period in mind) : "Let's stop saying, when a man shows tenderness or domesticity, he's 'gotten in touch with his feminine side,' or when a woman shows leadership or is good at maths that she's 'constellated her [masculine] animus.' Let's just say, instead, that whatever a man does is masculine, and whatever a woman does is feminine, and toss out the sorting-boxes completely."

Edited 2013-08-16 01:59 (UTC)
chardmonster: (Default)

Re: Oh fuck you

[personal profile] chardmonster 2013-08-16 04:47 am (UTC)(link)
No. No.

I am going to start talking about constellating my masculine animus

I am going to talk about constellating my mascluine animus constantly

I'm constellating my masculine animus right now

under the covers
silverr: abstract art of pink and purple swirls on a black background (Default)

Re: Oh fuck you

[personal profile] silverr 2013-08-16 10:57 am (UTC)(link)
*snerk*

wull, actually, saying "masculine animus" is redundant, iirc, since "animus" is the masc. form of the Latin word for soul ("anima" is the feminine form)

BTAiM, have fun~!

Re: Oh fuck you

[personal profile] cbrachyrhynchos 2013-08-16 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Yep this.