[ SECRET POST #2437 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2437 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 024 secrets from Secret Submission Post #348.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 1 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Re: Inspired by #10

[(Anonymous)]

Unclear referents. Too much 'the taller man said' is ridic, but even more ridic is scenes and scenes of three dudes talking to each other where the only referent used is 'he said' and I can't track which 'he' is saying it.

'Sobbed'. It gets waaay overused, there are better ways to describe someone crying, especially since 'sobbed' is often more intense than I see the character doing.

Re: Inspired by #10

[kaijinscendre]

Ahaha. I was thinking something like that today. It was in reference to, "let out a sob." Like...I can't picture in my head what that is supposed to be. Is it a wail? A cry? Just someone going "Waaaaaaaah," once?

Re: Inspired by #10

[tabaqui]

My SO says something his grandpa used to say - you have the 'sup-sups'. When you've cried really hard and you're sort of winding down and your breath is all hitchy and you kind of go 'sup-sup', all snotty and tragic.

So maybe that for a 'sob'. :)

Re: Inspired by #10

[kaijinscendre]

Oh, I hated getting that as a kid! Bill Cosby has a great bit about that. http://youtu.be/dbaI-JK3WJA (near the end).

Re: Inspired by #10

[tabaqui]

Heeeee!

Re: Inspired by #10

[(Anonymous)]

A sob's a bit like a hiccup, but deeper and only happens when you're crying.

Re: Inspired by #10

[(Anonymous)]

you know the scene in Beauty and the Beast where Gaston has the wedding all set up outside Belle's house?

the triplets are sobbing in that scene

Re: Inspired by #10

[kaijinscendre]

But that is different from, "let out A sob." What the heck is one sob?

Re: Inspired by #10

[(Anonymous)]

I think it's like, when you're crying hard but trying not to start sobbing out loud because that's embarrassing, but your control slips for a second and you make one loud sound before regaining control.

Re: Inspired by #10

[(Anonymous)]

Unclear referents. Too much 'the taller man said' is ridic, but even more ridic is scenes and scenes of three dudes talking to each other where the only referent used is 'he said' and I can't track which 'he' is saying it.

I was just going to make a post about over-using same-sex pronouns in love-scenes, but I think you've pretty much got me covered here. Because I DO feel like I'm just repeating characers' names so often that it's ridiculous, but my grammar nerdery won't let me write "He grabbed his cock" (as a very poor example) or "he laid a hand on his cheek" (as a perhaps poorer example) without reading it as if one character is touching himself.

Because yes, crazy epithets get a lot of hate, but if it's a choice between an unobtrusive epithet and ambiguous language, I'll take the epithet.

Re: Inspired by #10

[(Anonymous)]

I don't know what is an 'unobtrusive' epithet for you, but for me any variation of 'the other man' in limited third when the characters know each other and wouldn't think of each other like that is instant backbutton, because it's practically always indicative of other writing problems. The few times I've overlooked this because something about the fic caught my interest, I've always ended up regretting having wasted my time on it. Occasionally slightly ambiguous language is much easier to overlook when the writing is decent otherwise.