[ SECRET POST #2450 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2450 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #350.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

Wait

[chardmonster]

Are you complaining about
1. which erotica is turning you on, or
2. not being turned on by vanilla sex itself?

If 2, are you actually sexually active? Because if it's 2, but you aren't actually having sex, you might just like weird porn. That doesn't mean you won't like normal people sex.

Liking weird porn isn't a problem. It's what you like.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

The "ramping up" of the extremity of the porn they're able to get off to is a really huge red flag.

Re: Wait

[chardmonster]

Not really?

We have no idea how they define "the kinkiest shit." We don't even know how much actual ramping there is.

They might just be ashamed of being kinky.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

It's a good thing you put a question mark up there, because you absolutely should be questioning this philosophy that chooses to discount legitimate concerns because there might be another explanation.

Re: Wait

[chardmonster]

Hi Social Justice Troll.

No, I'm questioning the idea that we should be attempting to play Mental Health Bingo over a couple sentences about someone's fanfic preferences.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

They said (implied strongly) vanilla porn used to do it for them. Now it doesn't, and they're searching for more and more extreme porn to even get turned on at all. And they can't even get offfrom those extremes now.

Your theory assumes a situation where OP gets turned on by their kinks of choice, then gets overcome with overwhelming shame and guilt that kills their arousal. Which, though possible, assumes a more complex and unlikely scenario in which OP is immensely unself-aware. I mean, if they were ashamed by a certain kink or kinks in general, wouldn't that be mentioned in their secret, instead of the relative lack of self-recrimination over kinks as a general concept we get here?

On the otherhand, going just from the OP's self description as well as the inference that this is something that they don't understand and is distressing for them, I don't think suggesting that it could be a porn addiction when it prima facie fits that description is that out of line. It's then up to the OP to work out whether that really fits them or not. (Note for OP: being ashamed of your kinks, or even having kinks at all, does not mean you have a porn addiction. Hope everything works out for you.)

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

Ramping sounds like it could be a pretty fun kink. I don't know what it would actually be, but it's a good name.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

A red flag for WHAT? That they like kinky sex? So what? As long as everyone involved is consenting adults, let them have a 20 person gangbang involving flogging, a swing, and some ginger roots.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

As the very first comment to this thread said, porn addiction.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

Needing extreme stuff to get off, does not mean addiction. If someone can only drink Absinthe to get drunk, but they only get drunk every now and again, they are not an alcoholic.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

Are you deliberately cherry-picking the words you want to read and ignoring all the others? Because the original commenter wasn't talking about just "needing extreme stuff". They were talking about the escalating nature required to get off. Like "X used to get me off before, but then that stopped working, and I could only get off to XY, and then THAT stopped working and it's XYZ or nothing."

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

But that isn't really what addiction is? At all.

Re: Wait

[chardmonster]

By this definition a bunch of soccer moms who are suddenly into 50 Shades stuff and no longer get turned on by lame Harlequin novels are porn addicts.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

"I have to search for the kinkiest shit in order to get turned on but even then I CAN'T GET OFF FROM IT"

I wouldn't call this an addiction but what OP's going through isn't as normal as some people here want it to be.

But not being able to get off to 50 Shades - I would actually see that as a good thing ;)