[ SECRET POST #2450 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2450 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 031 secrets from Secret Submission Post #350.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[fscom]

03. http://i.imgur.com/zhDvc9Z.png

[(Anonymous)]

Sounds like porn addiction.

this

[(Anonymous)]

"fanfic"/"fandom" aside, op is describing the textbook symptoms

you gonna need to get some help and/or quit cold turkey for a few years to get better, op, sorry

[(Anonymous)]

Yep, this. It's really common. It's like drugs; starts out awesome and then you need more and more to achieve the same high. Or, in this case, more and more extreme things.

Lay off the smut for now, OP. Don't read fanfic at all if the temptation will be too great. And don't masturbate for a while either. You'll balance back out again.

[(Anonymous)]

No it isn't. If it isn't effecting their life (enjoying kinkier shit in made up land is not affecting a life), it isn't serious enough to be called an addiction. Is anon missing work or school? Is anon getting failing grades? Is anon participating sexually with someone who is not of legal age or consenting? If not, enjoy your kinky porn.

[(Anonymous)]

Are these anti-extreme porn people the ones who wanted to start that vanilla or no rape (whatever) kink meme awhile ago?

Seriously, there is absolutely nothing wrong with liking extreme porn. If OP needs to masturbate five times a day and this interferes with her real life responsibilities and relationships, yeah. But who gives a fuck otherwise? Assuming her own sex life doesn't rely on more and more extreme stuff.

I've never once gotten off on written vanilla sex. I always need bondage at least, and I get that when you've read the same thing over and over again you want something new or a little harder to surprise you. Especially when in the fanfic world, writers tend to generally use the same tropes, same words, same formula. Does it affect my real sex life? Nope.

Wait

[chardmonster]

Are you complaining about
1. which erotica is turning you on, or
2. not being turned on by vanilla sex itself?

If 2, are you actually sexually active? Because if it's 2, but you aren't actually having sex, you might just like weird porn. That doesn't mean you won't like normal people sex.

Liking weird porn isn't a problem. It's what you like.

Re: Wait

[(Anonymous)]

The "ramping up" of the extremity of the porn they're able to get off to is a really huge red flag.

Secret 3 - Sex in fanfiction

[transcriptanon]

[Picture is black text over a white background.]

I think I've reached the point where I've read too much smut. Vanilla sex does nothing for me anymore, whether it's slash, het, or femslash. Now, I have to search for the kinkiest shit in order to get turned on, but even then I can't get off from it. [crying face emoticon]

Is this even supposed to happen?

[reppu]

I feel like the only person around who doesn't get off to fic. I totally enjoy smut of any kind, but I never want to do anything other than read it. I've been in fandom nearly 15 years, and never once. I wonder if I'm doing it wrong?

[(Anonymous)]

No, same, like...I can get turned on by a hot fic, sure, but I don't legitimately get off to it or anything. I'm just like "Damn, that was hot" and then move on.

[(Anonymous)]

I'm you from the Negaverse. Fic is the only kind of porn that gets me off (apart from RL sex of course).

[(Anonymous)]

Desensitivation I suppose. Same thing has happened with me. Before I discovered fandom online, years ago I'd seek out fantasy and scifi books with mentions of slash in them. I didn't know it was called slash then. The merest mention would set off my imagination and get me all hot and bothered. Same with hurt/comfort type situations. Now, after reading countless stories with graphic depictions of sex more kinky than I could ever have dreamed of, it's all meh. I've come around to the point that all I want to read anymore is nice, happy fun sex and then it's just for the comfort happiness brings not that it makes me hot. Because most of the time, fic just doesn't do that for me anymore.

[(Anonymous)]

I've been through a mild form of this before and honestly? Take a break. A long one, if need be. Get away from it for a while, focus on other stuff. By the time you get back things you had no interest in will feel new again and you can kind of "reset" your interests to a degree. Stepping back from something you're growing a little too used to can be really useful and helpful. :)

[(Anonymous)]

I've read SO much smut, that even the kinkiest shit doesn't do it for me anymore. Now I get off to even the most vanilla smut ONLY if it's in published fiction, but not in the erotica genre. So it's got to have a plot and the sex should come unexpectedly. It's best if I'm really invested in the characters.

It's the same with visual porn, too. If I'm watching legit porn it just doesn't really do much for me. Now the thing that gets me going is when I'm watching a normal film and BAM sex scene and all I see is mild boobage and the dude's bum but damn it gets me hot and bothered. The best time was when there was unsimulated sex that I didn't know about previously and I was like "WOAH SHIT OMG".

It's so strange. I need surprise and some semblance of reality to get me off now. I think I've ruined myself for porn.

[(Anonymous)]

I have a hard time reading anything that doesn't have any sort of queer content in it. Femmeslash or regular slash, if there is no gay, I don't want to read it. The only way I'll read het is if it's unconventional in a way, like... sci-fi or high fantasy with a black chick dating white guy or something. Or trans*romance.

I -think- that's mainly because I'm pretty much done with the 'heteronormative white people in love' thing.

[(Anonymous)]

I thought I was having the same problem and then I read a vanilla piece that got me going like WHOA. And I realized, it's not so much the content of the sex acts as the quality of the writing. An awful lot of vanilla porn fic is basically like 'finger, finger, dick, pump, come.' Booooooooooring!! Try looking for some vanilla fics with real foreplay in them.

[kallanda_lee]

To be fair, I never really was all that into vanilla smut, even before I actively started reading it.

[(Anonymous)]

Change the medium? Look at pornish art, photos or watch films. There's plenty of kinky ones as well. Lit never did a thing for me and I abandoned vanilla porn a long time ago.

[(Anonymous)]

I feel this way too, but more with BL manga. I used to get so turned on by the smut scenes, but now it's just a reason for me to turn the pages quicker. Interestingly enough, my RL sex drive has actually increased. I think I just got burnt out. Take a break, non, and see if that helps.

I'm a porn writer who finds most sex scenes boring as hell

[nyxelestia]

As many people around the thread have mentioned, this escalation issue is a red flag for a lot of other problems and can lead to other problems...but otherwise, on its own, it's not really an issue. There are a lot of people who need really extreme porn to get off, but like actual vanilla sex just fine, or milder kinky stuff. Or, they can make the really kinky stuff work in their relationship. And some people don't have sex, period, and that's fine, too (variations of sexuality).

It really only becomes a problem if you have a relationship with someone with whom you are trying to have sex with and actually interested in having sex with, yet can't achieve sex without extreme kinkiness. That's when you will need help, and should seek it out. Or, if you get to the point where you are desperately trying to masturbate and want to get off, but absolutely nothing will, then that's also something you should seek professional help for. But otherwise, if this smut escalation is not affecting your sex life - whether because your sex life functions fine regardless of your smut/porn habits, or you just don't have one - then I wouldn't worry.

So while you should keep an eye for if this escalation issue starts impacting other areas of your personal or sex life - which it can or can act as a red flag for - I wouldn't worry about the 'problem' itself.

[(Anonymous)]

Could be a lot of things. Mostly I'm guessing desensitization. The stuff that gets me hot really only does so if it's a rarity, because soooo much smut is very formulaic. I mean, the same thing happens IRL with very real sex; you do the same thing every night and it's suddenly habitual, but even "boring" vanilla sex is great if you give it some time in between. See also: why so many products are marketed to long-term/committed couples as a way to "spice up" their sex lives.

So I suggest mixing it up. Take a break, move to a new medium, read for a new fandom or new pairing (or revisit an old fandom/pairing), find a quality rec site (so you're getting really well written smut of all kinds instead of the usual blowjob-1finger-2finger-dickpenetration formula) or just read super plotty fic with sex somewhere in it (so there's all the UST buildup that acts as a sort of foreplay). Or, you know, keep kinkin' away!! But since you've said it like it's a problem, any of these others might work.

[darkmanifest]

Then maybe it's time to back off smut for awhile to give your brain time to recover? I had a total smut burnout awhile back, took a long break, and I've only just been able to read and write the stuff again without being completely bored and/or annoyed.

[(Anonymous)]

speaking as someone who was once a teenage boy, you need to stop masturbating for a while. as long as possible. one week, two weeks, let yourself go without. when you start masturbating again, do it -without- fic or images, only with your imagination. this way you have to actively concentrate on what gets you off rather than having kinkier and kinkier ideas put into your head.

[(Anonymous)]

Have you been masturbating while reading? If yes, have you been doing it in the same way?

It's normal for "jerking off the same way for a long-ass time" eventually resulting in less and less pleasure and maybe eventually inability to achieve orgasm. Try a toy/barrier/new angle/whatever and see if that helps you.