fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2454 ]

[ SECRET POST #2454 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2454 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 073 secrets from Secret Submission Post #351.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

but what about the lesbians that like male slash

pls give me another psychoanalysis for how they actually hate women

and pass the popcorn

(reply from suspended user)

So you understand why straight girls wouldn't like het, but you can't understand why a lesbian would want to read about gay people?

Oookay.

(reply from suspended user)

I've never understood what the appeal would be in slash for a lesbian. is it an emotional thing?

According to my lesbian friends who read mostly m/m slash: part of it is being emotionally invested in those particular characters and part of it is being interested in queer narratives in general, even if it's not their preferred variety of queerness (and it's typically easier to find m/m fic than f/f fic).

(reply from suspended user)

I was a little confused by this too, but then on a podcast I heard a lesbian comedian describe why she prefers guy-guy porn to lesbian porn and it makes sense to me more now. She says that it's much closer to how she experiences sex, she isn't distracted by terrible porn logic (as she's a woman and knows that x wouldn't actually feel good), and she doesn't have to think about the politics and dynamics at play behind the scenes (about the actresses being taken advantage of and what not). I think those were the main points.

It was Carmen Esposito on the Mental Illness Happy Hour. You should give it a listen.

da
another lesbian here who reads m/m

For me it's the distance. When it's two girls, I get way too invested and squirmy and fretful over their dramas and it all feels way to close to home. When it's m/f or m/m there's a bit of distance in my caring so all their emotional dramas and resulting sex are entertainment versus "fuck too much like RL"

Also I have a noncon kink for men only u_u;

Also I have a noncon kink for men only u_u

DA - het girl here, but you and me both.

ARE YOU ME. Lesbian, who loves noncon m/m. f/f or m/f noncon just doesn't do it for me.

Mirror anons?!

But yeah once a girl is added to the noncon it gets very uncomfortable to RL because those parallels are getting to close to home and cannot enjoy as much.

But m/m?! Bring it on!

(disclaimer: RL rape is bad no matter the gender)

I posted about this above but for me it's because seeing guys being emotionally vulnerable is rare. In typical romance movies it seems like it's all about the guy "winning" the girl and he might be like "Oh, I'm in love" for a moment or two but by the end it's like: She's kissing him! That means he WINS! So, when it's two guys they have no choice but to be a little vulnerable, and be all mushy with each other, though it's difficult for them because they haven't been socialized that way. Most m/m fic is really good at drawing that stuff out and filling it with UST, which I also like.

Also, there's the fact that I started reading dudeslash before I fully figured . And it helped me a lot at the time, because there wasn't much f/f and well, I was confused.

Edited 2013-09-22 01:30 (UTC)

I wish to give this comment a big "YES!".

I like how m/m fanfic has both sides of the pairing being a bit vulnerable, mushy, working out their feelings, and it's not as apparently one-sided win (sometimes it is still someone wins - the one who realizes their feelings first and is trying to gain the love of the other - but even with that sort of dynamic, it still feels less one-sided).

Personally I love it when they both know they're in love but they're afraid to say anything so they dance around it for like a million years, but at the same time they keep cuddling and going on dates and holding hands in the winter-time and you know what I don't care if it ever gets resolved, sometimes when I re-read stuff I skip the ending.

Lesbian who reads primarily m/m.

because I like gay stuff. I think if I were a guy, I'd still be gay. and let's be real, most m/m fic is written by women, for women - it hits those buttons. A lot of f/f stuff feels like it's written by guys for guys and it doesn't work for me. Granted, if it's f/f written in a style of slash, I like it?

Anon are you me? Agree so hard.

As a lesbian who hates het fic/porn and pretty much excusively reads slash I really can't explain it.

I don't like 90% of lesbian porn because its clearly made for men and contains way too much fake moaning, fake tan, fake nails and fake boobs. Sensual porn with natural women gets me off, but thats so hard to find.

Gay (male) porn gets me off like woah, I never find myself sexually attracted to men and het sex grosses me out completely but for some reason 2 guys is a-ok. Also on weird level for me I feel like (and am speaking in terms of porn rather than fic so much here) there is an equality in gay/lesbian porn- you've both got the same equipment and even if ones giving and receiving you're kind of on a level playing field. Het always feels like too much of power imbalance. Just how I feel btw, I know thats not necessarily the case, het just squiks me beyond belief.

As for slash fic I think the emotional aspect has a lot to do with it too.

I dunno man, sexuality is one big confusing mess, I'm past the point of caring what I find arousing and how that relates to me "label" *shrugs*.

>>there is an equality in gay/lesbian porn- you've both got the same equipment and even if ones giving and receiving you're kind of on a level playing field. Het always feels like too much of power imbalance. Just how I feel btw, I know thats not necessarily the case, het just squiks me beyond belief.<<

I'm not exclusively gay but this is 100% me.
I'm only able to enjoy het porn when it's written. Even the most loving amateur het porn I found online squicked me a little. And that's coming from a woman who DOES enjoy the occasional sex with a man IRL.

Except I was talking about straight women -- not lesbians. I can understand how a lesbian would want to read about gay characters regardless of gender.

What weirds me out are hetero people who are grossed out by hetero sex.

OP, what about straight women who aren't grossed out by het smut but also aren't really turned on by it?

Het smut doesn't do much for me because it's almost common place. I can get het smut practically anywhere. I've got a boyfriend, I can have het sex whenever I want. I can find het romance on pretty much every TV show or book. Het porn dominates the market. With written smut stories, I exclusively read m/m slash though. I ship a lot of m/f pairings, but het smut doesn't really do much for me in written format. I ship a number of f/f pairings too and tbh I'm more likely to read f/f smut than I am m/f smut.

And just to screw with you even more, what about those of us straight women who like straight porn but don't really get much out of het fanfic smut?

My entire secret was about straight women who are grossed out by m/f smut, so the point you're trying to make doesn't apply.

And just to screw with you even more, what about those of us straight women who like straight porn but don't really get much out of het fanfic smut?

Some women are more visual? Again, I don't see your point.

ayrt

But you don't limit your comments to just straight women grossed out by het smut.

There aren't too many of them that I've come across, btw. It's far more common to come across straight women uncomfortable with het smut because it doesn't match up to their own experiences; uncomfortable because they are far more intimately aware of how the female body works than they are the male so it's much harder to "turn their brains off" re: m/f porn (or f/f porn) when they come across bad sex smut; not particularly into it/bored by it because it's so prevalent. Reasons like that.

It's very, very rare that straight women are actually grossed out by het smut. And even if they are, it's pretty fucking pretentious and gross yourself to judge them for it for any reason. You aren't them. Just get over yourself.

Re: OP

(Anonymous) - 2013-09-21 22:53 (UTC) - Expand

NA

My entire secret was about straight women who are grossed out by m/f smut

Is it, though? Because throughout your posting you conflate "disinterest" with "grossed out" rather a lot.

I like how you just want to handwave and insist that while all women fit your narrow narrow view, many of the contrary examples somehow magically don't exist.

You really really want to hold onto your incorrect idea by the skin of your teeth, don't you.

Haha, yes, please.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

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