[ SECRET POST #2455 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2455 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


__________________________________________________



10.


__________________________________________________



11.


__________________________________________________

















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 061 secrets from Secret Submission Post #351.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

"Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

So apparently not a single person in my group of friends finds this phrase annoying, but I know I can't be the only one who does. To me it's just another example of the fucked up attitudes the US has surrounding sex and I'm so tired of it. Is anyone else bothered by it?

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

It seems fine to me.

Re: "Making love"

[belacqua]

I think it's ridiculous too. You can have one without the other.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

The same phrase exists in French (and the English version is actually influenced/is an adaptation of the French phrase). So either the French are as fucked-up when it comes to sex as the US, either this is a matter of context and of how the people you hear using this phrase use it (especially if it's something like "it's not sex, it's making love", as if sex = bad).

Re: "Making love"

[morieris]

I think it's a rather stupid phrase for it. You could probably apply that to cupcakes.

Re: "Making love"

[caecilia]

As in "I wanna make cupcakes to you." or "I wanna bang these cupcakes."?

Or to take it up a notch, "I wanna make cupcakes to these cupcakes."?

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

...If you want to get technical, it was originally meant to a courtly love type thing so...uh...even with the original meaning you'd be distantly yearning for your [romantic] love, Cupcake.

Re: "Making love"

[caecilia]

another example of the fucked up attitudes the US has surrounding sex

How so? I think it's been around since the 1500s. It's not always 'love' in our modern sense of "I've been with them for three years now, and I want to buy a house and have kids with them." I could be wrong and I don't have a source on this but I think I've seen a few instances where "they loved each other" basically meant "they fucked each other". Any linguists wanna weigh in on this?

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

Technically, in 1500s, it was actually a way of talking to someone [generally of the opposite sex] not physically making *anything*,iirc, and that person was not always your spouse/fiance.

So, it was more of a courtly love thing [since the only times I know of that term in relation to the 1500's it was related to the courts]. Even now, when it is used to mean something sexual, it's usually meant a very specific type of thing between two people who are in love...and not just a euphemism for "They fucked"/a one night stand, which is something different.

However, I'm not a linguist so I could be wrong about that.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

At least in the area where I live (southern red state) there's this attitude that sex and love are intertwined to the point of almost being the same thing, and that it's somehow wrong (especially for women) to have sex without being ~in love~ and the people who "make love" rather than just have sex for the hell of it are somehow superior. I've seen the same attitude elsewhere in the country, and given the attitude of people from other countries who are all "OMG Americans are sooooo prudish and uptight about sex!" I figured it was a pretty widespread attitude in the US. And having a common euphemism for "having sex" (especially among people who look down on those who have casual sex/sex without being "in love", at least in my experience) that includes the word "love" just seems to further conflate the idea that the two are the same thing (or should be).

I realize in other time periods and contexts it had a different meaning/connotation but in a modern setting, among people I know and in popular media, where the only way I ever see it used is as a euphemism for having sex, it annoys me.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

I don't like it because a) as people have said, it implies having sex without being in love is somehow horribly wrong, and b) because it's VAGUE. Don't tell me you want to "make love" to me. Tell me HOW you want to have SEX with me.

It irritates me even more in stories for the same reason. "And then they made love." Well, whoop-dee do. Gives me some damn details. It's a love-story, I know WHY they're fucking, just tell me HOW.

Re: "Making love"

[dancing_clown]

a) as people have said, it implies having sex without being in love is somehow horribly wrong.

A lot of people HERE are saying this, but I know a lot of people who use this term for a very specific type of sex-having, and none of them have ever expressed or implied this sentiment.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

I don't like it either, but I'm not precisely bothered by it. It's not exclusive to the US though; the anon above mentions French and the expression also exists in Spanish. And I'd bet it's in more languages too.

Re: "Making love"

[frankfurter]

German, too. Liebe machen. fer l'amor (Catalan). I'm thinking it's a pretty universal thing.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

It's just a tasteful way of saying it. My parents taught me about sex using that phrase (in Spanish) and I think that helped my understanding of it more than 'sometimes people bone'.

Some people aren't bothered by it; big deal.

"never fucked anyone"

[(Anonymous)]

from "Never Fucked Anyone," Dave Eggers

Honestly, I'm not sure what to call it. The other terms aren't much better. To "make love" always carries with it that sort of dopey New Agey stench, in the same earnest-but-stupid vein as calling a boyfriend or girlfriend your "lover." There are the funny words--"boning," "porking," "screwing," etc.--that are relatively harmless, used lightly as they are, usually in anecdotes told by fraternity men and/or people who fish. The main one, "to have sex," is a pretty pedestrian way of putting it, and really without its own baggage; it's clinical and acceptable in almost all situations--dinner conversation, junior high health class, perky sitcoms featuring Brooke Shields and Judd Nelson. And therein lies the dissatisfaction, I guess. It's too common and plain, and has been stripped of its power to evoke. And so there isn't really any way to talk about it that conveys the sensuality of it, without sounding dorky and without implying a do-er and a do-ee. We're at a loss, really, except I have to say that the phrase I really like, right now, just because it's so devoid of content, is "to sleep with." The phrase has some dignity, however colorless, and it manages still to hold some sort of mystery/aura about it, I guess drawn from the "sleep" part. (Sure, it's not always accurate, like when you don't actually sleep with the person afterward, but still.) It's not poetry, but it's something. And it doesn't for a second imply force, or an act bereft of meaning, or worse, a combination of both.

Re: "Making love"

[thene]

I like it, provided it's not synonymous with sex. Some sex is loving, but not all sex, obv.

Re: "Making love"

[forgottenjester]

I think it's a ridiculous term but that's only because my first experience hearing it was through SNL. So... I'm pretty sure my reasoning makes me an outlier.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

I don't dislike it for your reasons, but it's one of those phrases I roll my eyes at. It just sounds so cheesy. Just like "lovers". I just can't help but picture those skits from SNL.

Re: "Making love"

[queerwolf]

To me it signifies a kind of sex rather than a broad euphemism for sex so I've never been bothered by it. It's kinda cheesy and I never use it in writing. I see it as the kind of sex two people have that is intimate and brings them closer emotionally rather than just fucking.

Re: "Making love"

[ariakas]

Yeah, same.

Re: "Making love"

[pantswarrior]

I always more or less assume that if it's being used, it's being used specifically to indicate sex between people with a deep emotional romantic bond. Otherwise there are plenty of other ways to refer to having sex. And other kinds of sex that are not "making love" are fine too! Just different ways of enjoying sex.

So basically I think of "making love" as a subset of "sexual activity" rather than a catch-all phrase that should be applied to every single instance, and thus it doesn't bother me. Except vaguely, in a strictly literal sense, because I'm asexual, and the idea that in order to "make love" you have to have sex? Uh, nope. But euphemisms, etc., whatever.

Re: "Making love"

[otakugal15]

Um...why?

It's usually used in reference to a couple who are usually having sex tenderly, slowly, that kind of thing, not wild abandon. ESPECIALLY if it's between those who finally realize, that yes, this is gonna work out and FEELS.

Not that that's the ONLY definition for it. I usually just call it "sex," not fucking, not making love, just sex.

But whatever.

I'm fine with it.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

"To me it's just another example of the fucked up attitudes the US has surrounding sex and I'm so tired of it. Is anyone else bothered by it?"

No, because unlike you, I understand that this phrase didn't originate in the U.S., wasn't coined in even remotely modern times and wasn't even originally a reference to sex. I understand not liking the way phrases and terms sound, but sometimes that's got more to do with you, your headspace and in this case, your misunderstanding of a phrase's origins and meanings than the actual phrase itself.

You must chill, OP.

Re: "Making love"

[(Anonymous)]

Nope, I'm fine with it. Like some of the other commenters, however, I wouldn't call all sex lovemaking. It's an appropriate term to describe intimate, tender sex between people who care for each other.