[ SECRET POST #2459 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2459 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #351.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Yeesh here we go...

[(Anonymous)]

Look if I am about to get down and dirty with a guy and then I find out he has a vagina, I am gonna be realllll disappointed. Penises are essential to my sexytimes.

[(Anonymous)]

Yes, this. If I signed on for a penis-baring person, that's what I would want. If I were in the mood for a vagina-baring person, I would have opted for them.

If anything, the fic (and real life) should contain discussion about about everyone's genitals before any clothes come off. That way, everyone knows what's up and consent can be given. People (author of that fic included) should not assume that surprises as just okay.

[(Anonymous)]

Agreed.

[(Anonymous)]

Same here, doesn't have to be anything offensive about it

[(Anonymous)]

I agree, but only because he should have told you beforehand. This should not be a surprise discovery right before sex, and nobody should be called transphobic for not liking the surprise they were not at all warned about or prepared for.

[(Anonymous)]

To be fair, it's fiction. This is where people write their fantasies and escapism not necessarily what they'd do in a real life situation.

[(Anonymous)]

"Look if I am about to get down and dirty with a guy and then I find out he has a vagina, I am gonna be realllll disappointed. Penises are essential to my sexytimes."

Is what I replied to, which has nothing fictional in it and isn't about fictional characters.

[mimi-sardinia.livejournal.com]

If I start reading a fic expecting penises, and find that suddenly the character that canon has as male is suddenly and unexpectedly female, I'd be damn annoyed because the writer failed to give a single sign that they'd suddenly turn male!character female on me.

One way of solving that is to put a note in the summary, author's notes, whatever you call them, and whatever you call that note (tag, "warning", whatever).

[(Anonymous)]

I'm the same. I'd be totally okay with having sex with a trans* person who had gone through the operation + any hormone treatments, though. I just wouldn't be able to find attraction to a man with a vagina or a woman with a penis. I could still be great friends with them, love them, but the physical attraction would plummet for me.

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, look at all the pro-disclosure assholes above me. How about not making assumptions about what people have in their pants because guess what, you never actually know.

[(Anonymous)]

If you were a straight woman and saw what you perceived to be a straight, cis man at a club, I would at least expect some kind of disclosure before you agree to go home with them and discover he was actually a pre-op trans man with a vagina?

[(Anonymous)]

I assume people who look male have penises, and people who look female have vaginas. 99% of the time, that assumption is correct.

Or would you prefer we preface all possible one night stands with "So...you do in fact have a penis, right?"

[(Anonymous)]

I don't give a fuck what anybody has in your pants, right up until we're mutually making plans to have sex, and then? Yeah, I'd want to be told what to expect if it's something my partner knows most people aren't expecting. Both for my sake AND so that I don't hurt the other person by being shocked or something.

This doesn't mean I'm going to reject every person who isn't cis, because I'm not. But pro-disclosure sometime before sex? Uh, yeah, this is a good idea.

[(Anonymous)]

Um, no. Not fair. Even remotely. Would you shame a gay man like this if he was about to have sex with a female-bodied, male-presenting transman who was put off by running into a vagina? Sexual preferences are what they are - they may be rooted in some problematic things, but sexual orientation is NOT JUST ABOUT GENDER - it's about specific biological sex, as well. I would most likely not be put off by finding out that someone is not physically the same sex as they are presenting outwardly, but plenty of straight and homosexual people WOULD be. And I know plenty of very open-minded bi and queer people who would need a minute to wrap their heads around it. Needing time to adjust your perceptions and your assumptions is not inherently a bad thing - often it can be a very good thing.

If someone is making a conscious choice to have sex with someone of what they think is a certain gender, only to have it sprung on them just prior to sex that they are a different gender, it is NOT FAIR to expect them to be unconditionally sexually attracted to that. Everybody should have the chance to fully consent to whatever sexual acts they're about to get into WITHOUT the pressure of iminent nudity. If they decide that they need some time, or are not turned on by that, it majorly sucks, and it COULD be because they're transphobic, or it could just be that they were thrown into a sexual situation for which they were not prepared.

[(Anonymous)]

+1 to all of this. I am a straight woman; I need a penis in my sex to get aroused. Vaginas just don't do it for me, and believe me, it's not for lack of trying. I just have no sexual attraction to them whatsoever.

If I were to be getting down and dirty with what I thought was a cis guy only to find out that he was a pre-op transman? I don't think I could have sex with him simply because I am not sexually attracted to vaginas, even if I have an emotional attachment to the person. It has nothing to do with the person and everything to do with the fact that my body just isn't turned on by that particular type of genitalia.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh for godssake. People are not "assholes" because of their sexual response. I don't want to get up close and personal with a vagina. I don't make assumptions about who has one, and you never know for 100% certain, so what's the issue with being clear?

[(Anonymous)]

No? Say you're a guy who is only turned on by men. You are not turned on by female anatomy at all. If the man is trans* and hasn't had any operation, then physically he'd have a vagina. In terms of sex, anatomy sometimes does matter. And it's not fair to call the guy transphobic just because he is not turned on by female anatomy.

[(Anonymous)]

This x100. Any surprises can be unwanted if they aren't warned for. For example, I'm not into BDSM. So I'd be pretty pissed off if a guy suddenly whipped out some handcuffs and a paddle mid-way through sex with absolutely no warning beforehand.

Expecting a warning for that isn't kink-shaming. That's just being polite.

[(Anonymous)]

This. It's not transphobic to only be turned on by penises or vaginas, unless you also want to call a straight woman vaginaphobic for not being interested in vaginas or a straight man penisphobic for having no interest in penises.