case: (Default)
Case ([personal profile] case) wrote in [community profile] fandomsecrets2013-09-26 06:41 pm

[ SECRET POST #2459 ]


⌈ Secret Post #2459 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #351.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 1 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Re: The secret you'd never make because you know it'd be called a troll

(Anonymous) 2013-09-27 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
I've always wanted to do a social experiment that tests people's reactions to a situation based on gender. Basically....a secret saying about how a person is in love with a fandom friend who they know doesn't share the same feeling. No "how dare they" just "geez I'm really bummed out about this" . Secret background suggests OP is a girl and the friend is a guy.

Wait for the "it's okay" and encouraging comments in the comments, and then reveal that OP is a guy and the friend was a girl. Wait for inevitable accusations of Entitled Nice Guy.

Partly because well...I'm tired of people confusing actual "Nice Guys" with guys who express sadness about unrequited love. Because well...unrequited love sucks for anyone, but Entitled Guys are a specific kind of entitled disappointment. "I wish she would notice me" is not Nice Guy.

"I do x y and z for her why doesn't she hook up with me?" It's all about the entitlement, not the gender of a person wishing their crush would notice them.

Re: The secret you'd never make because you know it'd be called a troll

(Anonymous) 2013-09-27 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
We had something like that a while back, a thread where a female anon was pining after her best guy friend who she was in love with and getting jealous over the guy friend talking to another girl.

Many many people called her out on acting like a Nice Guy.

Re: The secret you'd never make because you know it'd be called a troll

(Anonymous) 2013-09-27 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
I've been slowly documenting this sort of thing on Reddit for the last couple of years. Similar stories from men and women, and see how people react. I'm going to make a big post about it someday soon just to show Reddit how misogynistic the community is.

I'd be curious to see that sort of comparison here, too!
thene: Happy Ponyo looking up from the seabed (Default)

Re: The secret you'd never make because you know it'd be called a troll

[personal profile] thene 2013-09-27 02:25 am (UTC)(link)
Please link us when you do make that post - it sounds interesting.

AYRT

(Anonymous) 2013-09-27 03:48 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm fully behind you on that but i get the feeling that many of the jerks there would just be like "lol SRS" Unfortunately.

But I'd fully support that. I tend to post in some reddit communities but I've noticed a lot of nastiness in some places.

Re: The secret you'd never make because you know it'd be called a troll

(Anonymous) 2013-09-27 03:58 am (UTC)(link)
I have been wanting some way to say what you just said about people confusing being upset over rejection with being a Nice Guy. It comes up so much among my friends, and I've gotten sick of it.

AYRT

(Anonymous) 2013-09-27 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Yeah I remember there was an FB post where when a girl got upset about how "all guys are assholes omg" I guy pointed out that when they were younger he tried three times to do things to get her attention (asked a teacher to pair them up, gave her tickets to a concert , and took her to a dance) and three times she took advantage of his feelings" Naturally a bunch of people were like "OMG stalker" "you should be arrested" and "she said no don't you get it"

But when I read it I was like "wait a minute at what POINT here did she say no? According to him when she was his lab partner , he ended up doing all the work, which chows a lack of communication, when he asked her out by giving her tickets, she took them and took her friend out instead rather than saying "no I can't accept those I don't feel that way about you" and when she actually did accept his request for a date to a school dance, she told him she had to go to the bathroom and disappeared for the rest of the night.

This doesn't sound like a girl who was creeped out and tried to get an overly persistent stalker to go away. It sounds like someone who was using another persons affections for their own benefit. The guy's attempts to get with her don't seem particularly stalky. Tried to be their lab partner, tried asking them out to a concert, asked them to a school dance. These are all very normal ways to show someone your affections. Maybe they were persistent but I don't see the girl here being honest and saying no. There's nothing wrong with saying no to a guy because you don't owe them yourself....but you should at least SAY no because when someone asks you out earnestly and honestly they are least deserve some honesty back."