fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2459 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2459 ⌋

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A) Your hair is beautiful, and I don't mean that in a "we're all beautiful inside" kind of way, I mean that I fucking love people with hair dyed amazing colors (especially deep rich ones) and yours is exactly what would draw my eye from across the room and keep it for as long as you were in sight. Works with the cut and everything.

B) Your hair was a convenient excuse for something your girlfriend had wanted to do for a long time anyway, IMO. Do not regret your hair if it makes you feel pretty! The hair seems to be doing something for you your girlfriend apparently has not, so it seems kinda crystal to me which one needs to go, however she says she still feels about you. But I know emotions are not that simple, so I'm not about to pull a "dump her you fool" on you. Just...please keep the hair if you like it, it looks so cool.

C) I've been looking for ways to feel less ugly too. I got second piercings in both my ears (first since I was a baby!), clothes that finally fucking fit in colors that compliment me instead of make me fade into the background, and I want to get my hair braided and colored (I'm thinking very dark blue, almost black) and start weightlifting. The first steps are so hard for being so small but they're so worth it. I'm gonna keep taking those little steps to feeling better in my skin, and I hope you do, too, anon.

D) Seriously, the hair rocks.

SA - Lol, sorry, you're obviously not anon, I'm just so used to using that around here.

Thank you so much. Thank you so very much. I got the haircut on Tuesday, and I loved it so much. And as I said before, I've been wanting to dye my hair in a bright color for a really long while.

I've put on weight. I also tended to use clothes that made me fade into the background. And I'm really trying to change that. I want to wear clothes that fit me and make me feel comfortable with myself, and I want my outwards appearance to be an expression of myself. I was bookish, mousy and wore all black for so long... specially during the years of my depression.

(I wanted a piercing, too. Something in the eyebrow, perhaps.)

My girlfriend is dumping me as I type, actually. And insisting at the same time I ought to dye my hair black. (Black is my natural color). And... and getting angry at me. Saying her patience is over. I want to curl up and cry but I can't even do that, I'm not a crying person.

PS: I'm glad you're taking steps to feel better with yourself. I wish you utmost success with that. You're a really kind person.

Edited 2013-09-27 04:24 (UTC)

I know it hurts right now, but seriously, her saying that to you pisses me off for you. I ask my husband how he'd like my hair, what length, what color, and he just tells me to do what'll make me happy. So if I got a buzz cut and dyed it green, he would probably feel remorse, but that's because he figures that in my moment of brain-lapse that I didn't consider people would laugh at me, and he doesn't want me hurt. But in the end, he loves me for me, because if you're in love with the meat suit, you're going to be disappointed eventually.

Your hair is fabulous and you are so cute. Don't let this get you down. Nobody has the right to tell you "I don't love you because of [some part of your physical appearance] but if you just changed it to the way I like it, I'll totally love you again!" It's like a pair of mutual friends of mine that were dating and the guy told the girl he'd find her sexually attractive again if she lost the weight she gained while dating him. It had nothing to do with the weight, he was just going for a convenient excuse. He didn't want to date her anymore and made it her fault so he wouldn't be the bad guy. I wanted to punch him so hard in the face for months.

Anyway, tangent. You'll get through this, and you'll find someone that loves you whether your hair is black or purple or pink or orange, and whether you have no piercings or a hundred. :)

Thanks, Nonnie. You seem to have an awesome husband, then. I'm glad he's supportive of you and your choices.

The more time it passes, the more I'm loving this hair. Thank you for thinking I'm cute. I'm trying to get into that mindset, too. This saddens me because I really thought I was more important to her than just a hair color, but it's apparently a berserk button for her... And it's not the first time, either, that she has forced me to leave stuff or change things just because she plain hates it/them. I used to comply, because I didn't want to be alone. I'm a lonely person and she has been with me through a lot of stuff, for many years. But I will take a stand on this.

Again, thanks. The same reason that made me submit to her whims before should be a good reason for her to stay even if she doesn't like the color. It makes me happy! It makes me feel pretty! Why is that so unimportant to her in comparison? Maybe I do need another person to love.

NAYRT

Her patience is over???? lol, by the sound of it, someone in that relationship has been very patient, but I don't think it's her!

I hate to admit it, but you're right *sigh*

[ SECRET POST #2459 ]

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