[ SECRET POST #2477 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2477 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 02 pages, 036 secrets from Secret Submission Post #354.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ], [ 2 - posted twice ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

TL;DR answer

[lynx]

TBH: If it were just the bio, I'd roll my eyes and thing "god, what a Mary Sue", and not bother to find out how the character is actually developed. Now, I did know a girl like this, she was in my class when I was studying Anthropology last year. EXACTLY LIKE THIS. Except for the ADD - DROP THE ADD, really, it doesn't work like that and it doesn't help anyone to be an overachiever. If you gave her ADD "to make them have a plethora of interests", I assure you: She'll end up dumping half of them. Take my word, I've been diagnosed with it.

So there's some wiggling room depending on how the development and actual treatment of the character inside her canon goes. Is this a character of yours? Are you looking for concrit?

NOW FOR STORY TIME! About this girl: ...she was deeply unhappy. Yes, she managed to do everything she planned to do, but was deathly scared of her grades failing, her "circle of friends" at university was more like a "circle of acquintances that barely tolerated her" (because she was kind of holier-than-thou when it came to studying) - her real friends were very scattered: some in the dojo she practiced kendo in, some internet friends, some childhood friends. She felt lonely inside. She knew she could be percieved as off-putting because of what she did and her behavior, so while she did know how to socialize it was always a mined camp for her. She never, ever, did anything that could be seen as "traditionally having fun" - even the Kendo she enjoyed so much involved a lot of discipline.

And by October (College here starts in March) she was a mess. One day I found her crying of pure frustration because she had 95% of the answers right instead of the 100% she wanted, and felt SO VERY LONELY and ashamed... all the class had completely bombed the test, but her amazing grade was the reason the Proffessor didn't lower the bar or made us take it again next week.

So I took her out to skip classes to the nearby mall and we spent a couple of hours there. I bought us something to drink that she could actually enjoy (bottled Cola de Mono from the supermarket on the first floor), it was the first time in her life she had a drink. We didn't get drunk or anything, that wasn't the idea - just a glass to help her physically release some stress, and then I disposed the bottle; and then I took her to the arcade in the uppermost floor to shoot some zombies.

After that we became closer and I tried to make her understand that her life shouldn't be exclusively dedicated to BEING THE VERY BEST OF THE BEST, or pleasing others, or helping them. That all of that was fine, but having some "me" time was a necessary thing too. That doing random things out of schedule because you get the urge to do something fun (from knitting to watching anime - seriously, it doesn't need to be ZOMG LET'S GO CLUBBING) is absolutely ok and not a sin.

She's at University of Bologna now, and it appears she's quite enjoying herself. She has the academical challenge she desperately needed, but is far away from the added parental pressure, and is fluent in Italian so she's fitting in with her classmates and roomates quite fine. She has been exploring a lot, so she has fun things to do that aren't college-related or require discipline (though she looked for a kendo dojo ASAP too), and started trying to learn how to cook Italian food for the pleasure of it. I'm quite glad for her :3

TL;DR: It's doable. It doesn't necessarily make the character a Mary Sue. It needs to be handled correctly and with consequences, though, because unless she's super-human; the moment her carefully planned schedule fails, or something goes wrong, she'll break down.

Re: TL;DR answer

[(Anonymous)]

Bingo. I too know someone like this--and she's not happy either. Or rather, she has sharp ups and downs, because she's passionately interested and enthusiastic about a lot of things, but on the other hand she's a people-pleaser who can't say no either to an activity or to people (usually family members) who expect her to do things for them. And she's been basically taught to measure her worth by how little sleep she gets. Eventually she gets overextended and stressed, and comes unglued--it's a repetitive cycle.

Re: TL;DR answer

[lynx]

Yeah. It's a terrible thing. I used to be like this back in High School, before going to College finished the job of screwing me up and I came to full stop, strongly affected by depression.

Now I've become the opposite. I still have a lot of interests and plans, but never finish anything because my motivation doesn't last enough. I procrastinate chronically. And I'm still a people-pleaser who doesn't know how to say no, but this time I fail at pleasing anyone. I'm more like a continuous disappointment to my family.

So I know for a fact this is a very damaging way of living, it can destroy you completely. You better warn your friend when there's still time.