fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2479 ]

[ SECRET POST #2479 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2479 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 01 pages, 018 secrets from Secret Submission Post #354.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
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Never heard "male tears" before, but "manpain" makes me fucking rage, and I'm not even male (in sex or gender).

It's usually in the form of 'white tears'

Why? Granted I haven't seen it used for a while but I thought it referred to that hokey feeling tragic backstory male protagonists are given to make them seem brooding, brow furrowing, and deep. Sort of what writers are trying to accomplish when they fridge women and whatnot.

In other parts of the Internet its used differently. Like basically "loling at your mainpain".

Laughing at the pain of people you don't like seems to be a small trend in that circle. Then again I look at the bloggers who refer to others as "peasants" and I'm not surprised.

Because I've never seen it associated with "hokey feelings" and I don't think we should be minimizing a person's pain (even a fictional person) and as if it shouldn't exist or means less just because they're men.

Well to me it still means eye-rolling cliched drama given to a white male lead just to make him seem deep, less one-dimensional, and justify his bloody vengeful behavior. But I am altogether familiar with the way people can take a word and bludgeon it beyond recognition on the internet (I'm looking at you 'troll'), so I'll take you at your word.

Edited 2013-10-16 23:58 (UTC)

Oh, gee. Don't do me any favors.

TOO LATE! FAVOR DONE!

I hope you don't mind me asking but....

I have a work that has a male protagonist being sort of a loner but , he not supposed to come off as 'deep and mysterious'. He's a bit awkward socially and he's afraid of getting close to people because of prior bullying. He is sort of close to two kids who he's friends with but he doesn't want to admit it to himself.

I don't don't want to come off that way, and I don't think I've fridged any characters ( people close to them do die because of the plot and the characters who die have their own back-stories and pasts that are delved into and make a part of the story and in both cases it's people of both genders , not just women.) I don't try to make him "mysterious and brow furrowing" he's actually intended to come off as a kid- a vulnerable kid- which is what he is. He handles his problems in awkward and realistically teenage ways. This is in a world where multiple characters have some skeletons in their closet (even the female ones)because there is a major conflict /sorta war going on.

How do I avoid "hokey tragic backstory"? I mean is my only hope to genderbend him?
I hope you don't mind me asking this but I just saw that and thought "oh geez I don't want to come across as shallow like that"

I was referring to blank slate stoic guys where they jam in some over the top trauma, usually at the expense of a woman, that results in nothing more than justifying a "good guy" going on a crazy murderous rampage and being kickass and then some hot woman oohs about how stoic he is and sleeps with him. Usually the hero's pain is treated as being so much more devastating than anyone else's pain. It's just not the kind of pain you overcome omg!

What you're describing doesn't really sound like that.

Oh okay.I do find it annoying when the hero's pain is considered the only actual or "real" pain. That's really annoying.

Sorry for bothering you about this.

It wasn't a bother. :) I mean I was a little like "Nooo, what do I know about things? Ugh stop opening your mouth AY. People think you think you know things!" but that's just because I'm kind of a goof.

My official opinion, for whatever it is worth, is that manpain is not the same as man experiencing pain.

Same here; I mostly saw it used in X-Files fandom, and in my circles it gained popularity because an episode script literally described one of the Old White Dude consotium members as being "weighted down with the pain of being a man."

I agree. 'Manpain' is used ironically, often in a comedy setting to poke fun at male-centric sentimentalism, whereas people using 'male tears' are usually 100% serious about it.

I agree also I felt kinda "ick" when I saw an oft reblogged statement by someone on tumblr that "hating men has no consequences I could be the worst misandrist in the world and it would make me nothing but an unpleasant party guest whereas hating women is harmful".

I mean I know that right now in a way it's true and it IS like that, but....at the same time I find it idiotic and in a way irresponsible to say "my hate has no consequences". Because hate may start out seeming that way....but if it is fostered enough and encouraged it grows.

Besides...hate doesn't solve a damn thing. If we're actually going to get PAST sexism...we need to get past "men versus women" because that is the ROOT of sexism. It's idiotic to think you're "fighting sexism" by hating the other sex.

That said I do not deny that things are still very difficult for women in the world and there's a lot of issues to be fought.

"at the same time I find it idiotic and in a way irresponsible to say "my hate has no consequences". Because hate may start out seeming that way....but if it is fostered enough and encouraged it grows."

EXACTLY. And another giant EXACTLY to your "hate doesn't solve a damn thing."

It's nice to see common sense occasionally visiting online. :)

Thank you. ^^

I heartily agree with you.

We solve nothing in the ongoing battle against any sort of bigotry if the way we are "fighting" it is just mistreating the majority. That just fosters more bigotry against the minority in question because it makes members of the majority say "Well that proves they're not worth treating well!".

The problem is that they see their hatred as justified (and it very well may be) and if you ever tell them that it's unhealthy they'll just scream at you for wanting to keep them down. But the problem is that hate ALWAYS has consequences, especially for the person doing the hating. Like the saying goes, "Hating someone is like drinking poison but expecting the other person to die."

'manpain' sounds like a painkiller

ARE YOU HAVING SEVERE MUSCULAR PAIN FROM YOUR MOST RECENT WORKOUT OF BENCHING 1,000 POUNDS? CARPAL TUNNEL FROM THROWING TOO MSNY TOUCHDOWNS? DO YOU HAVE NECK PAIN BROUGHT ON BY THE WEIGHT OF YOUR MAJESTIC BEARD? IS YOUR JAW FREEZING UP FROM LOVIN' YOUR LADY TOO MUCH?

GET MAINPAIN! THE PAINKILLER FOR RUGGED MANLY MEN!

Once saw some asshole SJW post "lol white tears" on a post about a 9 year old white boy who was bullied for being white and committed suicide. :|

dude that's messed up. I mean I know these people have their issues about race....but if they could try to not brush off the deaths of people they don't like it would make them a lot easier to take seriously.

Like even if I'm not convinced of what an activist is saying I'll give them a listen if they explain their stance and make a good case and they might even get an ally out of me. But if someone is sitting their rejoicing in the deaths of the group they don't like and mocking people's pain I don't want to give them the time of day or even be near them.

It's like they don't realize that minorities can be different depending on the situation.

God do I ever fucking hate the term 'manpain.'

/also not male

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