fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2483 ]

[ SECRET POST #2483 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2483 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

__________________________________________________

02.

__________________________________________________

03.

__________________________________________________

04.

__________________________________________________

05.

__________________________________________________

06.

__________________________________________________

07.

__________________________________________________

08.

__________________________________________________

09.

__________________________________________________

10.

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 054 secrets from Secret Submission Post #355.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 1 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Would you judge a couple if one person was "normal functioning" and the other was mentally retarded? Do you think it's inherently taking advantage of a vulnerable person if a mentally capable person is having sex/in a relationship with someone who is mentally retarded? If the mentally retarded person feels they are truly in love with their partner, does that make a difference?

How about if you were in a relationship with a normal functioning person, but say, that person was in an accident and suffered a severe head injury that basically put them in a mentally retarded/severely low functioning state? You love the person, would you stay with them and stay faithful? Would you end the relationship but stay in that person's life to care for them? Or leave completely? Does doing any of those options, in your opinion, say something about that person's character (for good or bad)?

Inspired by a real life situation (not mine), and unintentionally stumbling across a SJW debate on the issue.

It really, really, really depends on the couple, on their social circumstances, on just how underdeveloped the vulnerable party is etc.

I can definitely say that the idea of somebody having sex with a mentally underdeveloped person is inherently creepy, and there aren't many factors that could make it more acceptable to me, but I guess I could think of a situation where keeping the relationship would be better than ending it. It certainly makes a difference if the vulnerable party is happy.

Ultimately, it is a matter of degrees. If somebody's mental state is that of a five-year-old, this is a huge NO NO NO. If they behave/think more like an impulsive teenager... depends.

I can't really think what I'd do since I wouldn't have any romantic relationships in the first place.

Thing is: It really depends on the severity of the "retarded" person's disability. It's genrelly a question of "are they able to give real consent" vs. "are we erasing a mentally disabled person's sexuality" - so it's a really complicated, sensitive topic that doesn't lend itself to generalisations.

This should be good.

Completely depends on the situation. Depends on the level of mental retardation. Depends on the maturity and motivations of the "normal" person.

It's just not a black and white issue and every instance is different.

I think a couple like that can work. It's normal though, that the family and friends of the mentally challenged person will be more careful/sceptical of their partner. Sexual predators do pick out mentally challenged people more often!

I see nothing wrong with breaking up a relationship in that scenario. The intellect is part of the attraction to a person, and it can "even" be too much for partners of people who are physically handicapped and not mentally.
That's a difference to not caring for them though. Do they have other people who can&want to care/provide for them? If not, then I would think it's only decent to care for your partner, depending on the committment level in your relationship.

I guess it's different to caring for somebody who loses their mental/physical capacity due to age, because "there's an end in sight", compared to somebody which gets into an accident in the prime of their lifes though...

As someone who is personally autistic and would be downright pissed if someone assumed a person I was with MUST be preying on me...it depends. It depends one how much I know about the other person, and their ability. If I knew FOR A FACT that the disabled person was not able to understand the situation I would speak up. I think the disabled person's feeling about their partner do matter very much, but if they are being put in a situation they can't understand or are sacrificing comfort for their 'love' , then they're still being abused.

That's a difficult situation. I'd like to think that heaven forbid if it happened to me I would support them as best I could. I don't think I would feel entirely comfortable having sex with them, but I would try to be there for them, maybe find other ways to show my affection and love.

I think it depends on the person , if they left them but in good hands because they couldn't handle it themselves it's one thing but if it's just "oh you had an accident? Ugh I don't want to waste my life looking after you lolbye" then yeah that would say some negative things in my mind.

This is a very complex situation and has a lot of possibilities. SJWs tend to see things in "right or wrong" goggles and don't acknowledge them (and usually yell at people who DO acknowledge them because in their mind "OMG you're just a part of the problem then".)

As someone who is personally autistic

That's not mentally retarded. That is in fact pretty damn different! I mean, you're typing whole paragraphs here.

I know but I'm bringing it up because it is a mental disorder and...it can cause people to act in a way that appears immature . Like I can type well but a couple years ago at a mall I embarrassed myself by acting immature and it's only looking back that I realized I was acting like a little kid nearly jogging and trying to weave around in crowds .

A person can be good at typing and appear rational and sane online when you only see them by the words they type but when you see them in public it's different. In a text based environment like the internet. I can myself appear like a normal functioning human, while in real life i tend to mess up , or do things that make me look immature, and to other not there.

Also I've seen conversations (relating to "moe" characters. where people talked about the morality of sex with an autistic person and whether he autistic person is able to consent. (the original conversation had been about whether moe characters were sexualizing autistic characteristics or some such)

I apologize for bringing it up. I didn't mean to infer that autism=mentally retarded (I'd never say that). I brought it up as a point of reference of why meddling in the affairs of people with mental disorders and disabilities to protect them can be dangerous business.

Wasn't there a film about this? A girl being in a relationship with a mentally retarded guy and there was lots of drama about it... For some reason I'm thinking Christina Ricci here.

It's called Forest Gump.

Flowers For Algernon, maybe?

Pretty sure you're thinking of "Pumpkin".

No judgement here. Mentally disabled people are usually capable of consent, and the ones that aren't are usually under special provisions by their family or health facilities, so finding themselves in a relationship with an average person would be unlikely.

I wouldn't stay with a low-functioning person, though, because I'm innately selfish that way and not a caregiver in the slightest. This is also why I'm never having kids or pets.

"No judgement here. Mentally disabled people are usually capable of consent"

That depends entirely on what you mean by "capable of consent." Capable of having and wanting sex? Absolutely. Capable of wanting companionship and love? Of course. But so is an eleven year old. I hate to make the child comparison, but in the end, mentally retarded people are vulnerable, as are children, and extremely likely to be taken advantage of - basically, the chance of finding a normal-functioning person that pursues them sexually/romantically but isn't a horrible creep is... pretty low.

I saw this in real life through a mentally disabled relative. She had basic life skills where she could live with minimal supervision, but needed help with anything that required planning or consideration of consequences. She also had difficulty emotionally controlling herself, for example, would hit if angry. Some douchebag got her pregnant a few times, even "married her" for a brief period, then bailed. She can't even take care of children - she hits them, is incapable of parenting, etc. Kids were taken into foster care until Douchebag came back into the picture and claimed them, and for some horrible reason, won. He was caught a few years later luring a "teenage girl" on the Internet who was really a police officer, kids were again taken away... and again, he got them back.

Maybe that shouldn't be a judgment of all such relationships, but pardon me if I'm extremely skeptical of any normal functioning person's intentions who gets in a relationship with a mentally disabled person. I just don't believe most people are both that altruistic and in love.

Saw a story recently about a couple...there was a young woman and young man, both normally functioning, and in love (I think already engaged) when the man was in an accident and suffered head trauma. He wasn't like, a vegetable or anything but he was definitely not mentally or intellectually the same as he was. They got married and both appeared really, really happy (I saw some video). I think sometimes it's definitely workable. The not-disabled person in the scenario would have to be willing to be super, super patient and careful. Of course there are a lot of things that would make it Not A Good Thing. As others have said, it depends very, very much on the situation, the people involved, and the circumstances.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ SECRET POST #2483 ]

A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?

Re: A moral dilemma for you?