fandomsecrets | [ SECRET POST #2487 ]

⌈ Secret Post #2487 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.

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02.

[Vincent D'Onofrio in "Adventures in Babysitting"]

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03.

[Legend of Korra]

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04.

[The Little Mermaid]

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05.

[Twin Peaks]

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06.

[Moby Dick]

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07.

[American Horror Story]

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08.

[Ian McKellan and Patrick Stewart]

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09.

[Supernatural]

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10.

[Yogscast]

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11.

[Welcome to Night Vale]

Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 00 pages, 000 secrets from Secret Submission Post #355.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Wow, people are being giant assholes in this thread. I'm sorry OP. I know the whole grey or demisexual thing is a hot button for a lot of trolls, but I've seen F!S react more open than this before.

For what it's worth, I ID as asexual and I've recently had sort of the same thing as you. I am just all out crushing on this one character from a TV show I watch. It took me an embarrassing amount of time to figure out it was even a crush. But yeah. So I know how you're feeling, all "what the hell self where did this even come from?" thing. Just roll with it and enjoy the crush. :)

Thinking no one understands you but adamantly refusing to explain yourself is a vicious circle.

Why should I try to explain anything to a group that is obviously having too much fun mocking and belittling to even bother listening? It's obvious nobody here wants to understand anything outside their POV. My comment was solely to reply to OP and let them know they're not alone, which did not need an explanation because they already understand the terms being discussed.

Oh please, as if you won't interpret all this as persecution that somehow validates your special status.

I don't really see all of this thread as persecution, just assholes trolling. And I don't need outside validation for my own personal labels. And I don't think I have any "special status". So nope.

ayrt identified as asexual, which...I didn't think people here really had an issue with? o.O

They sure are outraged on behalf of demisexuals, though.

but you addressed ayrt with your "persecution that validates your special status" remark

Re: ayrt

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

So your an asexual with... sexual attractions?

Wow, you managed to be worse then a demisexual. Your doing an actual real term wrong.

Gee, if you're crushing on someone then maybe you need a new label.

Nope. I still have no desire to have sex with anyone or be in a sexual relationship. Asexual works for me.

This is what bothers me about asexuals (particularly those who are romantically but not physically interested in people) labeling themselves based on how much sex they are not having. It makes it sound like hetero-, homo-, bi-, what-have-you-sexual people are just constantly fucking their brains out because they have to act on their physical urges.

It's not a label based on how much sex I am not having, it's a label based on the fact that I have no desire to ever have sex. And fwiw, I don't think people are just constantly fucking their brains out or full of uncontrollable urges or anything. I just assume other people actually have desire to have sex at some point in their life. I also assume that most people would think of sex as a given in any romantic relationship.

I also assume that most people would think of sex as a given in any romantic relationship.

I agree with a lot of what you're saying, but this isn't necessarily true.

Re: DA

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

diet_poison - 2013-10-25 01:54 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 03:25 (UTC) - Expand

NA

UGH I hate it when asexuality gets dragged into these demi-grey wanks because asexuality makes perfect sense to me. They label themselves according to what kind of sex you want to have, just like gay, straight, or bi people.

DA
Asexuality as absolutely no desire for sex or romance makes sense to me. Asexuals masturbating makes sense to me. Asexuals having crushes and having no strings attached sex and basically doing everything everyone else does but still calling themselves asexual do not make sense to me. Unfortunately they're the majority I've encountered and have really tainted my perception of asexuals as a whole.

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 00:48 (UTC) - Expand

diet_poison - 2013-10-25 00:50 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 00:56 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 03:46 (UTC) - Expand

chardmonster - 2013-10-25 00:53 (UTC) - Expand

chardmonster - 2013-10-25 00:57 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 01:06 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 06:05 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 02:24 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 02:55 (UTC) - Expand

(Anonymous) - 2013-10-25 03:04 (UTC) - Expand

tumblrsexual

mmmmm reblogs r so sexy

I'm only attracted to people with more than ten labels.

I think the reason this is getting a more universal negative reaction the wording of the secret. OP describes a progression from feeling attraction but not wanting to bone anyone to wanting to act on attraction to one specific person.

What they're describing is probably universal, but they've worded it as going from one marginal sexuality to being "too weird" to even tell people. They're not doing the asexual spectrum any favours.

The asexual spectrum, really? Why can't we just agree on "asexual" followed by "low sex drive" and then "basically everyone else"? Personal preferences ("I don't want to have sex with someone I'm not emotionally attached to" "I have a low sex drive even when I'm emotionally attached" "I have a perfectly normal sex drive when I'm emotionally attached" "I've never met someone IRL that I find as attractive as this celebrity" "I only have sex on Tuesdays") =/= a special orientation.

I said that because I can see why someone would ID as ace and still occasionally be interested in sex, just like I can see why someone would ID as a lesbian and still be interested in some guys.
So basically I agree with you, ace-low sex drive-normal sex drive is what I was getting at.
I think gray-a isn't so much on a spectrum as straying close to demisexual, if that's what you're getting at, and I do think it's kind of dumb.

SA

sorry that response was full of typos I need to get off the computer. Basically, asexuality makes perfect sense to me and I think these grey-a demisexuality people are making it sound flaky and situational by association.

AYRT

I think you're right.

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DA

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