[ SECRET POST #2489 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2489 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

01.


__________________________________________________



02.


__________________________________________________



03.


__________________________________________________



04.


__________________________________________________



05.


__________________________________________________



06.


__________________________________________________



07.


__________________________________________________



08.


__________________________________________________



09.


















Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 03 pages, 058 secrets from Secret Submission Post #356.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

If you continue to have some kind of relationship with someone, addressing it in some way with them is often really important, especially when you're traumatised. It's something psychologists do tend to advocate. If you're able to put it behind you and move on that's great and it's worked; some people work for years to get to that stage and it's not their fault or inadequacy that it took so long or with external help to get there.

Speaking from experience. I shut them out for a decade until I could confront them, and they fortunately demonstrated some willingness to acknowledge, and then the rest was forgiveness even though I won't trust them or confide in them ever again.

My friend who was raped by her father many times has been unable to move on without heavy heavy therapy for decades and I'm glad she has no intention of talking to him ever again.

Just "moving on" as you've done is totally inappropriate for some people, including me, and definitely her. Assuming you still have a relationship with your mother.

[dreemyweird]

IA with the first part; perhaps it would be a good idea for the OP (albeit they do not seem to be traumatised), but the method is questionable. It is not the addressing as such that matters, it is how one does it.

As to the second part, it really has nothing to do with "moving on" (which I am probably in the process of) - it is about avoiding an open confrontation, not about keeping the relationship up. Walking away from someone isn't confronting them. At the time, I would've gladly walked away if I could, and I believe your friend did the right thing (it sure as hell would be odd if she wanted to keep in contact with her father).