[ SECRET POST #2503 ]

[case]

⌈ Secret Post #2503 ⌋

Warning: Some secrets are NOT worksafe and may contain SPOILERS.

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Notes:

Secrets Left to Post: 05 pages, 105 secrets from Secret Submission Post #358.
Secrets Not Posted: [ 0 - broken links ], [ 0 - not!secrets ], [ 0 - not!fandom ], [ 0 - too big ], [ 0 - repeat ].
Current Secret Submissions Post: here.
Suggestions, comments, and concerns should go here.

Comments

[hiyami]

Your assumption is that being interesting = being liked.
A whole clique of people formed on my former board and created their own cliquy secret board, basically on the basis that they felt some people on my board were intellectual or elitist, while they were average so couldn't compete.

Mind you, there were only like 2 people who did, on occasion, make despising comments. The clique that formed of "average" people was by far the majority. But they never spoke out much about the issue, only left gradually to create their friendly board for uninteresting people.

Last I heard, most of them are still a big group of friends who meet on occasion (they're not in the same area).


Sooooo...
Basically your choice is to mimic what people who are popular do in your fandom circles, even if it's dull shit, and be all nice and smiles and not too edgy (a lot of people, even in fandom, react badly to anything too challenging). That should work.

Or trying to post interesting (but not agressively. That never workds) things and hope a few like-minded people will notice. That works, but it's slower, and only usually attracts a few people.

[lyndis]

I want to add that "aggressively interesting" = attention-seeking, sometimes. If you try to sound too "interesting" people will think you're a showoff, i.e., LOOK AT HOW COOL I AM WOW GEE WOW.

More than "being interesting" is "being friendly"--saying hello, asking people how they're doing, commenting if you can think of something to say (be it intellectual, witty, fun, friendly), and so on. I try to make new people feel welcome, I gradually immerse myself into a fandom, etc and so on.

However, I haven't really tried in a number of years to be noticed, but I will say that talking to people is the best thing. You can contribute fanart/fanfic/crafts to your fandom too and that nets you friends pretty easily, especially if you're the type of person who wants to improve; there are tons of english majors and hobbyist writers in fandom (in all fandoms, really) and they enjoy helping teach people how to write better and there are a lot of artists too, who can offer advice if you want it. And if not, people always like seeing fun new art and fanfic! :)

[ashcat]

I agree with this whole comment. Most people who I would term 'aggressively interesting' are not someone I'd want to associate with or my friends would. That type of attention seeking behavior is a huge turn off and if it's not to someone, then they will think you don't want friends since you aren't communicating with anyone or making friends then you must not WANT to make friends in that fandom. After all you're so cool/interesting you probably already have tons of friends or whatever you're trying to portray yourself as.

Being genuine and friendly will result in a lot more friends than interesting will. Be someone that isn't a big gossip, who keeps their confidences, who can be counted up on for others and that will net you way more friends :) and make you a good person if you care about that sort of thing.

Ask people about themselves, you're already in fandom so you have a built in conversation topic! Nothing invasive or divisive, what's their favorite character, favorite scene, favorite part... why? Build conversations on these types of things and then just share your thoughts too.

Making friends online and offline are all on the same principles. If you can master it on one you can translate it into the other :)

[(Anonymous)]

In my fandom, people tend to be attracted to the interesting people. And I don't mean, aggressively interesting attention-seeking people, just those who seem, ya know, interesting. I think it's a tumblr thing. Interesting posts=more attention, especially when there's a million other blogs out there with the same stuff.

[hiyami]

That's true as well. That's what I tried to allude to with the remark between brackets, but I didn't elaborate because my answer was getting long already.

But yeah. Being agressively interesting (what does it mean anyway? And why would anyone think that agressively anything is a good behavior to make friends?) usually comes off as trying to impose your views to others, rather than looking for discussion.

And most people don't bother to answer that type of provocation.